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XTV December To Dismember Xmas Special (closing date Sat 21st Dec)

Eddie

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The arena is bustling with the crowd all buzzing with excitement, the set up of the TWO Stars Stage is very festive with dozens of christmassy ornaments, tinsel and trinkets.

JB: Ladies and Gentlemen WELCOME to a very festive edition of TWO Stars! We are live from one of the most jolly audiences we've ever had LIVE from Santa's Village Lapland!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

EG: Oh my lord I'm so excited homes! Even being sat next to Brice can't dampen my spirit! We are all gonna get to see Papa Noel soon and we are gonna try and put everyone in the spirit!

The crowd all continue to cheer as the camera shows the whole arena smiling adorned in Christmas clothes, sweaters bobble hats and scarves and the thousands of excited children In attendance can't wait to see there favourite superstars or Father Christmas

BP: Hey It's no picnic sitting next to you either. I love Christmas just not when I'm stuck here with you two losers and the crowd filled with beggars! But I cannot wait to see Santa, that guy is my Bro, ever since I was a mini bro he brought me all the best gifts!

The team share a laugh

EG: Hey Brice I don't see you getting much this year I'm sure you're still on the naughty list!

Brice looks distraught at the thought of not receiving a gift again

BP: Hey this year is my year buddy I've given money to charity and I ate my vegetables, I'm sure you'll get some deodorant or something though, If not from Santa I'll foot the bill!

JB: Ha ha, Well folks we are all very excited and I've just been informed that our host will be making his way out to share in the festive cheer very soon!

The sound of bells jingling and the clatter of hooves is heard through the speakers and a loud

HO! HO! HO!

Booms throughout the excitement of the fans, adult and children alike is at fever pitch

[video=youtube;G5oFfy6jzlk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5oFfy6jzlk[/video]

BP: OH MY GOD HE'S HERE HE'S ACTUALLY HERE! HI SANTA!!

Gringo and Jackson share a laugh at Brice''s excitement as he heads onto the ramp with a huge red sack over is shoulder, his beard bushy and crisply white and his suit as red as a ruby

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

Santa looks over at Gringo Blakeslee and Perrino from the other side of the desk and opens his arms, causing Brice to hurry round and receive a hug from the big man! Santa releases himself and after a few awkward seconds so does Brice

EG: Looks like Brice has been good this year Santa is taking him out a gift!

Santa hands Brice a package wrapped in emerald green paper causing Brice to beem at Gringo and Blakeslee who then also receive gifts but much smaller ones

JB: Thank you Santa!

EG: Gracias Amigo!

Santa begins his way down the ramp hugging the children and adults alike passing out gifts to everyone in reach the faces of all fans in attendance are painted with smiles Santa finally gets into the ring which is furnished with a large tree and an arm chair side table topped with a glass of milk and cookies he lays down his bag and is handed a Microphone

SC: Good Evening every one and welcome to Santa's Village!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SC: I'm happy to have you all here at my home, I'm almost as excited as all of you!

BP: We Love you Santa!

Santa waves at children in the crowd and smiles throughout his speech

SC: As you all know Christmas is the very BEST time of year and the happiness we all share makes the world a better place so to bring even more happiness today I'm going to give a special treat and when I call one of your names you come out here and I'll give you a gift from Santa's sack!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

JB: Wow folks, Santa Is really making us all feel the Christmas cheer tonight!

Santa takes a seat sips a drink of Milk and pulls out a list and begins to read a name

SC This young man has been very hard at work and for that come on up Andr....

The arena suddenly goes black and Santa stops his name call

SC: What the heavens is going on?

JB: We're very sorry folks we have no idea what is going on here! It appears...

[video=youtube;f1tVVhbfT7Q]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1tVVhbfT7Q[/video]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! BISON SUCKS! BISON SUCKS! BISON SUCKS!

EG: Uh oh! Santa might want to hop onto his sleigh right about now!

BP: Nah guys Bison's just out to get his gift!

Bison steps out on stage with an evil look in his eyes, the arena is still dimly lit as Bison makes his way down to the ring Santa stands and glances down the list tilting his reading glasses to get a better look

JB: What is Bison doing out here? What business does Bison have here?

Bison stands at the foot of the ramp holding the straps of his combat vest as the lights return

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

SC: Now now everyone let's be nice, remember it's Christmas. Excuse me young man, I don't know who you are come here so I can get a closer look and we'll see what I have for you up here

Bison makes his way into the ring

EG: I don't think Santa has any idea what kind of animal he's about to be in the ring with

BP: Why all the negativity, he's here for his gift

Bison walks up the steel steps and climbs through the ropes standing a few feet from Father Christmas

SC: And what is your name young man?

Bison just stares into the eyes of Santa who begins to stir uncomfortably being in the presence of Lethal Eloquence

SC: I... I like your mask, maybe take it off so I can take a look at you?

Bison stands stoically for a few seconds before speaking

LB: My name?

SC: Wha... Erm oh yes please, so I can check my list for a...

LB: Unfortunately for you Mr Claus I fear I am not on YOUR list

SC: Oh no? Wh...

Bison steps forward now barely a foot from Santa his breath causing Santas beard to gently sway

LB: But do not fret Sir for you have made MY list! You have decided to enter MY ring to grace my domain with your presence or for this you shall receive a gift I shall deliver to every being that crosses my path again

Santa steps back taking his hat into his and raising his other hand to signal for Bison to stop

SC: I don't understand I'm just here to..

WHAMMM!!

Bison delivers a viscous kick to the gut of Santa causing him to double over in agony Bison then follows up with a clubbing blow to the back of Father Christmases neck sending him to the ground with a loud THUD!

BP: Bison! NO!

EG: What is this monster doing?! Leave him alone Bison he's just here for these kids man!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

The screams of the children in attendance echo throughout Santa's village as his followers all share in the horror of seeing the global icon beaten down by Bison

JB: What the hell? Bison seems to have no remorse here attacking a peaceful ol man!

Bison delivers a kick to Santa's ribs as he attempts to crawl away, Bison then lifts him from under his arms and into a full nelson before lifting him in the air and crashing him down

JB: The Judas Chair! To Santa! I can't believe I'm seeing this!

BP: Stop Bison! Come on bro!!

The shared horror from everyone in attendance is shown in everyone's face and given a soundtrack of the sobs of the adoring children

Gringo stands ready to take off his head set

EG: GET OFF HM YOU MONSTER! YOU JUST ONE SICK DOG- MAN, THESE KIDS DON'T WANNA SEE THIS!

JB: Whoa Gringo, you aren't cleared for action, security is here now anyway

half a dozen of TWO Stars security team jog out to the ring where Bison has continued his punishment of father Christmas this tie with a body slam, Bison see's that security are on route and so he lifts the large arm chair up and launches it into there path knocking one guard down and out

JB: Bison almost killed that member of security with that chair!

BP: I woulda got what I wanted for Christmas if that hit you Gringo! I don't get what's wrong with Bison, maybe he didn't make the list last year either?!

EG: Quiet Brice this is a serious situation a man's being hurt out there

Bison is surrounded by the remaining security they tentatively close in but Bison stays still until on lunges for him

WHAACK

Bison delivers a powerful clothesline to his would be attacker the swiftly lands a elbow onto another sending him face first onto the mat but is then grabbed from behind

JB: I think they have him!

The other two guards close in but Bison charges backwards and into the Christmas tree causing the restraining security guard to release his grip and be thrown out othe ring, the screams of those in attendance dying down now the attention is off of Santa who Is slowly crawling toward the edge of the ring

: You spoke too soon there bro!

JB: What is Bison doing? Is he?

Bison grabs the Xmas tree and uses it to swat the remaining two guards down and out of the ring he then throws it onto the ramp blocking entry to the ring

BP: Hey look Santa's nearly out of there now

BISON SUCKS! BISON SUCKS! BISON SUCKS!!

Santa is almost on the outside, the camera zooms in on him as his hands reach the mat outside, a look of relief on his face then...

LB: I am not done with you yet fat man

Bison has Santa's leg in one hand and pulls the large man back into the ring with little to no effort

EG: There's no way into that ring! He's blocked the entry

More security and referees congregate where the tree blocks entry and attempt to get through and move it

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH !!

The screams of the crowd echo throughout the arena as lift Santa by his throat causing the jolly fat man to begin to turn red then blue, he then hoists him up into position

The cries and screams of those in attendance are loud enough to drowned out the commentary team for a few seconds until Bison delivers...

JB SCOLDS BRIDLE!! Scolds bridle to father Christmas! The beast has feasted on the embodiment of joy here tonight

EG: That guy needs to be fired, suspended anything, these poor kids.. that poor guy! Why man

Gringos heartbreak is shared throughout the arena as the crowd falls deathly silent Father Christmas lay face down blood colouring his beard red The beast standing over him

Bison lifts up Santa's head by pulling his collar his limp body hanging down blood dripping onto the mat Bison looks down at his quarry then drops him as the security team flood the ring to help their colleagues and Father Christmases

JB: I am so very sorry you all had to see that folks, we all are but we must soldier on and hope for a speedy recovery

BP: Let's just move on huh, up next we have another surprise albeit a better one than this...

we cut too
 

dsrchris

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The Number One Contender is Ready...

We jump backstage, where we find the bubbly as ever Bambi Greene standing by with a microphone in hand, the interviewer twirling a stray blonde lock around her finger.

BG: Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming my guest at this time. He is one half of the longest reigning tag team champions in TWOStars history…

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

So there’s pretty much no doubt as to who the guest is with this capacity Laplandian(?) crowd, but Bambi continues with her little introduction regardless.

BG: …the longest reigning Triple Crown Champion in TWOStars history…

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Yet more cheers. Yep, Santa’s Village is damn certain they know exactly who it is.

BG: …and tonight he’s in the main event as the number one contender to Frankie Thomson’s TWOStars Heavyweight crown…

LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!!

For the three people at home who weren’t sure to whom Bambi was referring, the crowd makes it nice and clear in fine voice.

BG: Ladies and Gentlemen, “The Sultan of Swagga”, “His Highness of Flyness”, Lucian “Legendary” Jones!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!!


It’s official. Lapland loves Lucian Jones almost as much as Christmas. The Jonestown Destroyer swaggers into shot dressed in his ring gear, with a Santa hat sitting atop his afro at the required jaunty angle.

LLJ: Well hello there, I don’t believe we’ve been officially introduced…

Lucian takes Bambi by the hand, flashing that smile that worries mothers and parts daughters from their better judgement (and some mothers too, truth be told) before smoothly purring…

LLJ: The name’s Jones…Lucian “Legendary” Jones, soon to be TWOStars Heavyweight Champion…

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

The crowd explode into cheers for their boy, as Bambi blushes ever so slightly at the flirtations of The Fakir of Funk. Jones finally turns his attention to the camera that’s filming this little tryst, and throws back his head, yelling loud and proud…

LLJ: WHA’GWON LAPLAND!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Sure it’s a cheap pop, but it works! The insides of Santa’s village are booming with the love being shown for the Sultan of Swagga.

BG: So Lucian, it’s been almost 3 years to the day since you last wore gold in this company…

LLJ: A hottie and a history buff? Dayum!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Bambi smiles as she attempts to continue through the amorous advances of Jones.

BG: Are you feeling confident ahead of your match tonight?

Lucian strokes his chin thoughtfully, staring off into the mid-distance for a moment.

LLJ: Three years, huh? Man time flies when you’re wailin’ on jacka*ses!! I’ll tell you the truth Bambi, I like Frankie Thomson. He’s a good guy who’s got a helluva lot of talent between those ropes.

Almost on cue the crowd strikes up a chant of…

FRAN-KIE!! FRAN-KIE!! FRAN-KIE!!

LLJ: And what can I say, the dude’s been on one hell of a run as champion! He’s held that belt even longer than I locked the Triple Crown Titles down for!

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

LLJ: I’ve seen Frankie do amazing things in that ring, I’ve seen him overcome challenge after challenge put in front of him…I mean damn, he kinda reminds me of me back in the day, y’knowhumsayin’?

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Jones adjusts his Santa hat slightly…NOW it’s at the perfect jaunty angle.

LLJ: But see, the one thing Frankie hasn’t had to do during this record breaking reign is defend that glorious golden title belt against yours truly. Tonight the game changes Frankie. I’m not here to say how badly I’m gonna whup you, I’m not here to rant and rave, all I’m gonna say is Frankie Thomson, you ain’t never stepped into a ring with a guy like me.

LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!!

Jones turns his attention back to the smiling interviewer again, shooting a cheeky wink in her direction.

BG: So if you are successful tonight and capture the title, what’s next for The King of Bling?

Jones grins widely.

LLJ: A party the likes of which Lapland has never known!! A celebration party of such epic proportions that people are gonna be left feelin’ a little underwhelmed by Christmas, y’knowhumsayin’?

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

LLJ: And don’t you worry yo’ pretty lil’ head Bambi, of course y’all are invited!

Jones turns his attention back to the camera, addressing the champion directly.

LLJ: So Frankie my boy, y’all best bring yo’ A game, because I’m sure as hell bringin’ mine! See, I’ve been a good boy this year. A very good boy. And the big man in red musta been payin’ attention, because he’s got me exactly what I wanted this year…

Jones points down the lens of the camera,

LLJ: Frankie Thomson…(sings) ALLLL I WANT FOR CHRISSSSSTMASSS ISSSSS YOOOOOOOOOOUUUU!!!

Lucian struts out of shot confidently, Bambi motioning to lift the microphone to her own lips, before Jones pops back into shot a cheeky smirk on his face.

LLJ: Oh, and yo’ title, obviously.

With another cheeky wink in Bambi’s direction, Jones makes his exit as the crowd chant for…

LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!!

Bambi wears a small smile of her own from her first encounter with his Highness of Flyness, before remembering where she is and turning back to the camera gesturing in the direction Lucian just left in.

BG: Ladies and Gentlemen, Lucian L. Jones!

LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!! LU-CIAN!!

Cut to:
 

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Baptiste Oliver is standing outside Santa's Grotto alongside Brian Tankard who is sporting a festive 'Santa Hat' and a wide grin

BO: Good Evening from Lapland! I am Baptiste Oliver, here in Santa's Village and belong side me is the newest member of the roster Brian Tankard!! Merry Christmas to you Brian!

Baptiste extends his hand to Bri who grabs it and pulls him in for a hug!

BT: Merry Bleeding Christmas Lad! Ha Ha! I love this time of year the only thing I'll miss is having a few down the local with the old man!

BO: Well Brian tonight here for your second match you have been drafted into the Christmas Present Brawl!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

BO: As you can see the fans are very excited at the prospect of this match up!

Bri smiles again at the cheers and anticipation of the fans

BT: Woooo! YES! That's it Lapland! Christmas Present Brawl Eh?! I'm just as excited as you all are! You know two of those words are just great, Christmas and Brawl becomes I love them both me equally!.

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Bri raises his hand and waves over at the crowd

BO: Every active member of the TWO Stars roster, one man conspicuous in his absence is your opponent from last week Murdoch

Bri's smile wanes a little upon hearing his fallen former foes name,

BT: Now let me just make one thing clear ere, I did not want to injure that man but I will make no apology for what happens inside that ring, we both know the risks and unfortunately he can't fight as well as he can talk, I wish him a fast recovery and hopefully soon we can have another go!

Baptiste smiles and nods at the gesture of good will made by Bri

BO: As you are probably aware already the premise of the match is that the great crowd here have brought gift wrapped weapons for you and your fellow TWO Stars to use, what are you hoping is out there for you tonight?

Brian begins to chuckle lightly!

BT: Well Let me tell you the two things I will have gift wrapped for the match tonight, one of them is right here under this glove

Bri points to his trademark left hand

BT: The other well It just needs unzipping but don't you worry guys, theres enough to go round!

BO: Thank you for your time Brian

BT: No worries, see you after

Brian walks of shot as Baptiste lets the commentary team know its back to them
 

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a room door is slightly ajar, as the camera creeps inside we see a dimly lit dressing room, a lamp is on but barely lights the room a weak sounding voice is heard and we see the silhouette of a man as the camera moves in its becomes clear its a dishevelled unshaven and somewhat smelly looking Donald Erics

Ring Ring, Ring Ring

Don quickly reaches for the phone and answers

DE: D..d....Dragon is, is that you?..............wh....Where are you?!!

Don stands up and he appears to be wearing nothing but Y Fronts

DE: PRISON?!?! But how? What did you do?........................My God Dragon why would you do that? I can't afford bail you know....I'm having a bad time.....................YOU DID WHAT?! INTERPOL?! Dammnit Dragon I have to go

KNOCK KNOCK

DE: I think they're here Dragon, I have to go

Erics drops the phone and pulls on a sweater before quickly climbing out of the window and heading off into the snowy wilderness

After a few seconds one of the maids walks in

Maid: House Keeping.......

The maid looks around and notices the window open, she closes it ad with a shocked look she notices Erics running through the snow in his pants and a sweater before turning and spraying air freshner

Maid: Crazy Americans!

Dragons laughter can be heard in the background through the phone, we cut to
 

dsrchris

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Winter is Coming

We jump back to the arena, where a distinctly Xmas-tinged version of the XTV theme music is belting out of the sound system. The crowd in Santa’s Village are obviously enjoying themselves tonight, as the camera takes a long sweeping shot over the heads of the crowd.

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

T-W-O!! T-W-O!! T-W-O!! T-W-O!!


The camera finally settles in on the announce position for the evening, where we find our commentary team preparing to call yet more amazing TWOStars action.

JB: Welcome back to our XTV Christmas Special, where we’re broadcasting live from the home of the big man himself, Santa’s Village, right here in gorgeous Lapland!

BP: Gorgeous? Bro, I’ve got icicles on places I didn’t even know I had places!

The TWOtron flickers into life, as a graphic appears on screen with Frankie Thomson stood on the right, his prized Heavyweight title around his waist, while on the left stands Lucian Jones, sunglasses on, hood up, and a wide grin on his face. Just the sight of the graphic department’s work is enough to elicit a response from the crowd.

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

JB: Well we’ve enjoyed one hell of an evening, and what better way to “cap it off” if you’ll pardon me stealing a Gringo-ism…

The graphic dissolves to a shot of Gringles having a chuckle to himself as Jaxon continues.

JB: …than our fantastic main event. Frankie Thomson defends the TWOStars Heavyweight Championship for the first time against our number one contender, Lucian “Legendary” Jones! This should be one hell of a match folks!

EG: I gotta agree with you there JB, two of TWOStars most beloved fan favourites are about to put it all on the line, with the grandest prize in this business going to the victor! I’m excited, ese!!

BP: Pfft.

Gringo arches an inquisitive eyebrow skyward.

EG: Problem, homes?

BP: It’s a lose-lose situation bro, we’re either gonna end up with Thomson or Jones as champion? That’s damn near ruined my Christmas!

JB: Well it looks as if we’re ready to get this match underway, so without further ado let’s take you to Salvator Hier for the introductions…

The camera cuts to the suavely suited ring announcer, as he raises the microphone to his lips.

SH: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for your MAIN EVENT of the evening!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

SH: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the TWOStars Heavyweight Championship!

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Almost immediately a double chant breaks out as the anticipation of the audience ramps up.

FRAN-KIE THOM-SON!!

LU-CIAN JONES!!

FRANK-KIE THOM-SON!!

LU-CIAN JONES!!


SH: Introducing first…the champion…

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!!

[video=youtube;poT-5HJZk7M]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poT-5HJZk7M[/video]​

The opening of “Wild and Young” kicks in, as the entirety of the arena jump to their feet anticipating the champ’s arrival.

SH: He hails from Leith, Scotland, weighing in tonight at 200lbs and standing 6 feet tall…he is the current and longest reigning TWOStars Heavyweight Champion in history…

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

JB: One hell of an impressive feat, folks!

SH: This is…FRAAAAAAANKIIIIIE THOOOMSOOOOON!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

The music swells as Frankie explodes out onto the stage in a flurry of blinding pyro. The Edinburgh Enigma stands front and centre on the stage, unclasping the title belt from around his waist and holding it high overhead, causing yet more pyrotechnic wizardry to ignite on the stage behind him.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

FRAN-KIE!! FRAN-KIE!! FRAN-KIE!!


JB: And just listen to the reception for this youngster from Leith. The TWOStars faithful have really taken Frankie into their heart since his debut, and Thomson really has gone on to become one of the most beloved superstars in TWOStars to date!

BP: Yeugh, I’m gonna be sick. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna bro up.

Funtime Frankie starts to make his way down the aisle, slapping the numerous outstretched hands all clamouring for a piece of the champ.

EG: Well homes, I can tell you that holding on to a title is no easy task, so for Frankie to hold that belt longer than anyone ever before him, well, that’s one hell of an achievement for anyone, let alone someone who came into this company only 12 months ago!

By now Frankie has made his way down the ramp and jogs the last few feet to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope gracefully as he approaches. Frankie nimbly rises to his feet, ascending the nearest turnbuckle and once more holding his title belt aloft to the rapturous applause of the assembled throngs. Frankie uses his free hand to wave the crowd on, and somehow the volume of the cheering manages to increase.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH !!

FRAN-KIE!! FRAN-KIE!! FRAN-KIE!!


Thomson hops down from his perch on the turnbuckles, a wide smile on his face, as the arena lights darken and a cascade of golden sparks flutters fancifully from the rafters of the arena.

SH: And his opponent…

[video=youtube;oFCOP8G1R8A]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFCOP8G1R8A[/video]​

Inside the arena, the anticipation cranks up another couple of notches, as Frankie performs a couple of last minute stretches, making sure he’s good and ready for the trials and tribulations ahead. As is tradition, the crowd joins in with the narration, all expectantly awaiting the arrival of the Sultan of Swagga.

BUT TONIGHT…

…ON THIS SMALL PLANET…

…ON EARTH…

…WE’RE ABOUT TO ROCK CIVILISATION!!

BERAKKA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BOOOOOOOM!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!


Lucian strides out onto the stage, looking all kinds of fired up ahead of his title match, encouraging the fans in attendance (and those watching at home of course) to…

LLJ: MAKE SOME NOISE UP IN THIS BEE-OTCH!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!

SH: Hailing from Jonestown, Georgia, he weighs in tonight at 237lbs and stands 6 feet 4 inches tall. He is the Sultan of Swagga…The Duke of Jonestown…His Highness of Flyness…this is…

The next thing we hear is Salvator’s smooth tones drowned out by the capacity crowd yelling as one…

LUCIAN L. JONES….BITCH!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!


Jones steps forwards to make his way down the ramp…

???: CUT THE DAMN MUSIC!!

Sure enough the music is abruptly dropped from the speakers, as Lucian’s tron video cuts out to reveal our GM, Arron Winter, sat in his office for the evening. Straight away this draws the attention of both the champion and the challenger, as well as the rabid crowd waiting to see Frankie and Lucian get it on (not like that, you filthy animal).

AW: Pardon me for the intrusion, but unfortunately this just couldn’t wait.

Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE, Frankie, Lucian, Salvator Hier, referee Thaksin Metharom, the timekeeper, Gringo, Brice, JB, the crowd, the security, even the dude selling popcorn) all give out a collective “huh?”, all wondering why the boss has interrupted the match they paid good money to see.

AW: I saw your little promo earlier Mr. Jones, and I have to say I’m impressed. Look at you, full of confidence and bravado, ready to go out there and fight for the title you so desperately desire.

Lucian looks up at the tron from the ramp, flicking back his hood and visibly mouthing.

LLJ: Yeah? And?

On the screen, Winter grins demonically.

AW: It’s almost a shame that I can’t allow that to happen…

Lucian’s expression is the picture perfect definition of “WTF?” as Winter’s giant face continues to smirk at him from the giant screen.

AW: I have big plans for you Mr. Jones, but the title is not one of them…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

The crowd explode into jeers as Lucian suddenly realises he’s being set up. It’s too late to react though, as Hi’ilani Kai and Archangel attack Jones from either flank, Archangel clipping the back of the knee of Jones, as Kai powers through him with a huge clothesline, spinning the King of Bling inside out and crashing to the steel stage in a heap.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

JB: Jones has been blindsided, apparently under the boss’ orders!! What a despicable act!!

BP: Wooo!! Did you see that? They folded Jones up like laundry!! That bro’s broken!!

Winter laughs maniacally on the tron, as Kai and Archangel continue to put the boots to the prone Jones up on the stage. Almost immediately Frankie heads for the ropes, ready to join the fight to see off these unwanted intruders.

AW: Ah, ah, ah Frankie. Before you even think about getting involved in Mr. Jones’ little “lesson”, let me take this opportunity to tell you that you will still be defending that title in a match right now…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

JB: Winter’s lost his mind?! He’s gone power mad!!

AW: …so you would be well served to stay exactly where you are!

On the stage, Archangel has hoisted Jones to his feet, as Kai takes a step back before charging towards the Sultan of Swagga, dropping his shoulder and burying it into the abdomen of the downed Duke of Jonestown.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

JB: And Kai hits that devastating Spear on Jones, this is just a mugging, plain and simple!

EG: This is sick homes! Winter has no business treating his talent like this!!

BP: “Talent” is a bit of an overstatement, wouldn’t you say?

Archangel utters something unheard to Kai, bringing a devilish grin out on the face of his co-conspirator. Hi’ilani hops down from the stage, retrieving a table and setting it up on the floor below.

JB: Now what do they have in mind?

Frankie stands by in the ring, glaring up at the face of Winter filling the tron screen, rage etched into his eyes. While this is happening, Archangel once again drags the downed and defeated Fakir of Funk to his feet once more, before slapping his hand across the throat of Jones, applying the goozle tightly.

JB: No, not this!! This is too much!!

With no remorse whatsoever, Archangel drags the weakened Jonestown Warrior to the edge of the stage, before powering him high into the air and launching him off the edge of the stage. Jones plummets from his precarious position, his bruised and battered body smashing the table into shards and he falls through it.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

EG: Madre de dios!!

BP: Oh-ho-ho my God, that was amazing!! Brotacular, even!!

JB: Archangel has just chokeslammed Lucian L. Jones clean through that damned table! We need someone out here to stop this!

Lucian lies unconscious in the shards of the table, the cameraman getting a great view of the prone Jones, with the face of Winter behind him on the tron, looking VERY pleased with his handiwork.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Kai and Archangel stand proudly on the stage, basking in the jeering of the capacity crowd. Frankie has seen enough, and motions to climb through the ropes, only to find Winter addressing him once more.

AW: Don’t worry Frankie, we haven’t forgotten about our champion! I think we’ll change this match to no disqualification. That should make things nice and interesting…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Another evil grin flashes across the mouth of Winter as he continues to speak.

AW: …so allow me to introduce your opponent for this evening Mr. Thomson…

[video=youtube;f1tVVhbfT7Q]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1tVVhbfT7Q[/video]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

EG: No! It can’t be!!

BP: YES!! YES!! YES!! Lord Bison is here!! Things are about to get a whole lot worse for Frankie Thomson!!

As strobe lights disorientate everyone in the arena, His Lordship steps out on to the stage, as Hi’ilani Kai and Archangel quickly make themselves scarce.

JB: Well whether we like it or not, it looks like our General Manager has replaced Lucian Jones in the match with the unstoppable murder machine that is Lord Bison!!

The crowd don’t like this. At all. Just listen to them…

F*CK YOU WIN-TER!! *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap*
F*CK YOU WIN-TER!! *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap*
F*CK YOU WIN-TER!! *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap*
F*CK YOU WIN-TER!! *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap*


But our venerable GM looks as though he couldn’t care one jot. With another wicked grin he leaves us a parting shot of…

AW: Have a fun time, Frankie.

…before disappearing from the screen. Bison looks down at the ring, as Frankie prepares himself for what could quite possibly be the fight of his life. His Lordship starts to pace intimidatingly towards the ring, but Frankie decides he’s not waiting for his fate to come and meet him, he’s going to meet it head on under his terms. Frankie charges across the ring, sliding out under the bottom rope and heading up the ramp towards Bison, as Thaksin Metharom calls for the bell…

**DING!!**
**DING!!**
**DING!!**


JB: Well folks, it’s not the match that we were expecting, but Frankie Thomson will defend his title right now against that man, Lord Bison!

BP: Kiss your title goodbye Frankie!!

Frankie charges Bison, nailing the Mask of Infamy with a succession of right hands as the crowd get behind their boy…

FRAN-KIE!! FRAN-KIE!! FRAN-KIE!!
 

WAYNE

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Match

We fade back to the arena where all the fans are excited, their signs are in the air, and we cut to the announcer in the ring.

SH: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is the first ever, Christmas Present Brawl match! The rules are as follows; gifts are wrapped and left around the arena for our superstars to find and unwrap! The majority of them are located around the ring area. This match is to be contested with a time-limit and the last man to gain a pinfall or submission is declared the victor!

The fans cheer and get to their feet.

SH: And introducing first...

[video=youtube;HWv72L4wgCc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWv72L4wgCc[/video]​

Blakeslee: I am excited for this match up, guys!

Gringo: Who knows what we will see, esé?

Perrino: Anything could happen!

A resounding “HO, HO, HOOOO!” echoes throughout the arena, and nine ‘reindeers’ come through the enlarged entranceway, each holding a rope. Then, a sleigh appears through the entranceway (with many small wheels at bottom for ease of transport)!

Perrino: Oh god...

SH: ... Brian Tankard, Ari Shapiro, Randy Roko and Donald Erics all along with...Santa Claus!

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

The reindeers pull the sleigh down the ramp, and everyone in the sleigh throws out fake snow everywhere, making the crowd scream with delight. The reindeers stop at the bottom of the ramp and everyone gets out apart from Santa and slides into the ring. Before anything else even remotely fun can take place...

[video=youtube;NO7KtZ9khIY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NO7KtZ9khIY[/video]​

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The reindeers hurriedly try to pull the sleigh back up the ramp but Hi’Lani Kai, Archangel and Davidson all walk out on stage. They push the reindeers about and hurl abuse at Santa, much to the dislike of the crowd and the wrestlers in the ring.

SH: And introducing their opponents, Hi’lani Kai, Archangel, Markos Andronikos and Simon Davidson!

The four men charge down to the ring and slide in as the music cuts out and they get right to the brawling.

Ding. Ding.

Gringo: Here we go.

As quick as the brawl starts, the ref enters the ring to stop it until the bell goes.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The faces each send a man over the top rope, or through the ropes to the outside, allowing the officials to gain a bit of control.

SH: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been informed that this match will start once each man has grabbed and opened a present each.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Gringo: The toys in play from the off.

Perrino: Crazy match so might as well start it the same way.

Blakeslee: Genius idea.

Archangel and Hi’lani Kai both enter the ring with a gift, while the other six men make there picks. One of the refs grabs two gifts and explains to Winter’s boys that the must take part for the match too start. The pair snatches the gifts while looking at each other.

Perrino: Bro’s don’t look happy.

Wasting no time, the duo opens the gifts… Archangel opens and reveals a smoking pipe and he just stares at it. Hi’lani Kai reveals a farmers hat and tosses it in the middle of the ring as does his partner.

Perrino: What a boring start.

Ari Shapiro is the first man to join them and he opens to reveal a glass ant’s farm, and he places it in the corner as if it breaks, glass everywhere.

Gringo: Ese! Those are red ants, they bite.

Blakeslee: You’re right Gringo.

Perrino: (Mockingly) You’re right Pingu.

Meanwhile Randy Roko, Markos Andronikos and Donald Erics have selected their gifts. Ari is trying to see what Erics has, but he’s awaiting the Greek God to open his first. He does so and reveals a …

Perrino: Finally something good.

Blakeslee: An old fashion nightstick.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

The crowd cheer the first weapon that they know can deliver pain.

Simon Davidson opens his outside the ring and it’s a DVD of the greatest TWOstars battles vol #14 Evil Gringo Vs Craig Van Dam. Davidson launches it into the crowd for one lucky member of the crowd. Randy Roko opens his the same time that Brian Tankard does. Randy finds a selection box, to which he quickly opens it and throws the sweets to the kids in the front row. While that happens the Tank reveals biker gloves, and with a smile on his face, the Yorkshire Bastard begins to put them on as we await Erics reveal.

Perrino: Come on.

Blakeslee: The bell did actually sound before, so I guess the timer is already underway.

The Don opens it to reveal a bible…

Gringo: Archangel doesn’t look happy.

Perrino: For once, I agree with you bro.

Archangel charges towards Donald, but the friend of Chaos Dragon along with Ari pulls down the top rope causing Arch to fly out of the ring.

Hi’lani Kai runs in and knocks Shapiro through the ropes and grabs a hold of the man of insulted his “friend” before throwing him over the top. But unlike the others, he lands on the apron…

Smmmmmmmmmmmash

HOLY SHIT
HOLY SHIT
HOLY SHIT


The sight of flying mud, red ants and of course broken glass rains down as Archangel shows his mean side by smashing the ants farm over the lower back of Donald Erics of falls to the mat and then the arena floor, while in the ring the others look on.

Perrino: The desk is covered in mud, where are the damn cleaners.

Gringo: Just push it.

The deadly duo set up for what looks like a double choke slam on the outside to the Prince of Pop Culture. Out of nowhere, Randy Roko flies through the air, wiping out all three men. This left Markos Andronikos, Simon Davidson and Brian Tankard, who has put on the discard farmers hat and also has the pipe.

Gringo: That’s what most people think Yorkshire folks look like.

Perrino: Smart thinking Simon.

The former druggie is attempting to talk Markos into helping him, but the poor bloke as no idea Andronikos doesn’t understand him. Without warning, Simmo delivers a kick to mid-section of the Yorkshire Hardman. With him doubled over Davidson points to his foot and then to the Greek God, lifting his leg up as to say you kick his head off.

Blakeslee: Lets see if he understood or not.

Simon whips Tankard towards the Son of Aries… But Brian reverses and like Simmo said, Markos Andronikos was ready.

Gringo: He did.

Davidson down holding his face leaving Brian Tankard and Markos to exchange punches. Given it’s not his styles, the Greece Star is currently second best in this exchange, only for the Tank to get close and…

Gringo: Lovely belly to belly release suplex by Andronikos.

Blakeslee: Brian is straight back up though.

Andronikos charges towards him…

Perrino: And that’s the Minotaur's Charge.

Blakeslee: Gets the job done.

Andronikos with the first pinfall attempt.

One…


Two…


Thre… Shoulder up.

TWO!!!

Gringo: Too early!

On the outside, Hi’lani Kai has gained control and sends Randy Roko into a tower of gifts, causing them to come crashing down around him. Archangel is busy with Ari Shapiro.

Gringo: Has anyone checked on Donald?

Blakeslee: Ari did before Kai got him.

The Rolling Pirate jumps out from the bottom of the gifts with something, not giving the camera a chance to catch it, Randy smashes it into the face of Arch causing different coloured liquid to cover anyone close by.

Perrino: It’s shower gel, the works.

Gringo: A bath guys set.

Blakeslee: You mean a guys bath set?

Gringo: :greets4:

Back into the ring, Andronikos has Simmo up for the Wrath of the Titans; from nowhere Brian Tankard lands his Big Left, sending Markos and Simon to the mat.

Cover by Tankard…

One…


Two…


Three…

Ding, Ding.

SH: The winner of the fall… Brian Tankard!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Blakeslee: Never seen that before, someone about out cold as they hit their own finisher.

Gringo: Davidson is lucky they fell the way they did or he could’ve landed funny and blew out a knee or something.

Donald Erics slowly runs back into the ring, Tank meets him with a kick to the head. Unsure just how hurt Erics is, Brian grabs his head to bring him back to a standing position only for Don to catch him…

Blakeslee: Quick roll up…

One…


Two…


Three…

Ding, Ding.

SH: The winner of this fall… Donald Erics!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Gingerly getting to his feet, the Don fails to see Randy Roko standing in wait…

Gringo: Riptide, a move I know so well.

Perrino: He stole your move bro.

Gringo: All moves are copied by someone, I’m proud when I see someone hit a move I once used, most so when that man is a former World Champion like himself.

Roko covers…


One…


Two…


Three!!!

Ding, Ding.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

SH: The winner of the fall… Randy Roko!

Gringo: Ten minutes in and we have a second pinfall ese.

Perrino: Erics was winning for like five seconds. Not good Bro.

The Rolling Pirate dodges a double clothesline attempt from Archangel and Hi'ilani Kai, only to be met by a huge kick by the Greek.

Blakeslee: The Thunderbolt!!! Randy ran straight into it and it near took his head off.

Gringo: That’ll leave a mark.

Perrino: I think I’m being attacked by them red ants… So itchy Bro.

On the outside of the ring Simon Davidson and Ari Shapiro are battling it out while down on the floor is Brian Tankard. From nowhere Randy Roko dives through the ropes, taking out both men, but is soon joined by Hi'ilani Kai and Archangel. But the former World Champ quickly slides back into the ring, and like a cat leaps from the sliding position and nails a pin point dropkick to the face of Markos Andronikos.

Blakeslee: Randy is on fire.

RANDY RANDY RANDY.

Kai, from the outside throws an unopened present at Roko, who catches it, but the distraction is enough for Archangel to nail a clothesline from the blindside. Hi'ilani Kai Joins him over Roko, but the pair turns their attention to the incoming Tankard, armed with a …

Perrino: Bro got heat.

Gringo: It’s a water gun ese.

Hi'ilani Kai makes the first move and Big Bri pulls the trigger and water smashes into his face, which causes a shocked Kai moves back. Archangel now dashes towards the Tank, but instead of water, he has the water pistol smashed over his head. The force knocks him off his feet and within seconds Hi’ilani regains his composure and the big men do at it.

Blakeslee: Brian likes a good fight.

Gringo: The Yorkshire bastard can swing fists with the best of em.

Looking more like a pub fight then a wrestling match, the duo land down bombs on each other when suddenly Brian grabs a hold of Kai and lifts him into the air…

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Gringo: Bri Bomb on Kai.

Perrino: Big Bro shook the ring with that move.

The camera moves to the entrance way where Donald Erics and Randy Roko are squaring off. Having slammed Roko into the table full of gifts, the crowd shout to open a present. The Don grabs a small present.

Perrino: What’s that going to do?

Blakeslee: What is it?

Erics rips it open to reveal a pack of playing cards and betting chips, clearing the rest of the table. Donald looks around and starts to split the cards. Roko begins to make it to his feet but from behind Davidson grabs him by the hair…

DE: WAIT!!!

The former Druggie and Pirate stop and look.

DE: It’s Christmas and at Christmas you play games… Let’s play poker.

Seemly agreeing the duo stand by the table and Erics deals out two cards each. Each man throws in a few chips before Don turns over the first three cards. Randy looks a bit worried, but checks, Davidson bets some chips as does the dealer. Randy Roko folds.

SD: Don, I buddy Don. How about the winner takes the pot AND is allowed a pinfall against the other?

DE: Umm…

SD: Great.

Both men check on the next two cards and Davidson reveals a strong full house. Erics only has a pair, as the gentleman he is. Donald lay’s down.

One…


Two…

Roko looks on.

Thre… Randy breaks the pin.

Perrino: Hey, they agreed.

Gringo: Roko isn’t going to stand by and let someone win.

Blakeslee: Plus Randy is currently winning.

Simmo and the Rolling Pirate continue to go at it, as the camera rejoins us in the ring where Markos Andronikos and Ari Shapiro lock up, the Greek God back the Prince of Pop Culture into the corner, delivering a hard knee to the mid-section. Having broken the lock up, Markos grabs the waist of Ari and attempts a belly to back suplex, but Shapiro is holding onto the ropes. From behind, Kai grabs Andronikos and after a couple of seconds lifts him into the air, sending both the Son of Aries and the Prince of Pop over his head.

HOLY SHIT

Gringo: What power, a double belly to back suplex by Winter’s monster.

Blakeslee: Andronikos has one of the strongest grips, so if he was going over, he was taking Ari with him.

Simon Davidson pushes Roko into Ari Shapiro, who drops the gift he’d just picked up. With them tangled up with each other and the boxes, Simmo runs over to the largest present on the stage. With the camera near by, Davidson points toward himself and with the worst acting ever, overreacts while asking if this gift is for him. A short laugh is let out, and the long time “friend” of the World Champion begins to rip open the gift…





YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Gringo: Oh no!

Perrino: Bet he wishes he’d not opened it.

Simon looks in horror as in front of him is an oiled up Keith Jaxx, rubbing his nipple while licking his lips…



Blakeslee: Dear god!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

Perrino: HE’S KISSING HIM!!

Jaxx causes Simon to fall over, let unable to get away.

Perrino: I feel sick.

Gringo: Face that way ese.

Keith Jaxx jumps to his feet and takes in the cheers before heading to the back. Ari quickly goes for the cover.

One…

Two…

Three…

SH: The winner of the fall… Ari Shapiro.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Back to ringside.

Markos and Archangel trade blows as Tankard drives his knee into the mid-section of Hi'ilani Kai. One half of Winter’s men nails the Greek God with a stiff right hand, before raking his hands down the face, blinding Andronikos for the moment.

Perrino: Tankard better watch out.

Archangel charges towards his running buddy, looking to make the save…

Gringo: HE MISSED.

Blakeslee: Archangel crushes his partner.

The shock on Archangels face says it all, but before he knows it, the Yorkshire Bastard spins him around, levelling him with a hard left hand.

Blakeslee: Brian calls that the big left.

Perrino: Who names their own moves?

Gringo: The same people who give themselves nicknames like Million ese.

Tankard: Let’s be havin tha!

But the Yorkshire Hardman turns straight into a huge big boot by Andronikos.

Blakeslee: Andronkios with the cover…

One…

Two…

Three…

Ding, Ding.

SH: The winner of the fall… Markos Andronikos!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

The Greek God quickly jumps up and makes his way outside the ring, grabbing the first present he can get his hands on. Ripping the wrapper off to reveal the present everyone loves to hate…

Perrino: I’d have gone mad if I got those.

Gringo: I don’t mind, it’s the thought that counts.

Perrino: How much thought goes into plain white socks bro.?

Just as he’s about to throw them, it seems the man from Greece has an idea. Breaking the seal and pulling out the item, Andronikos pulls them between both hands and from behind wraps them around the neck of an unsuspecting Randy Roko.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!.

Simon Davidson rejoins the action, delivering blow after blow to the mid-rift of the former World Champion. The attack is soon stopped as Ari Shapiro and Donald Erics join the battle. Erics knocks Markos into a table, while Simmo and Ari trade shots… Suddenly the Don falls to the floor, followed by Davidson and finally Shapiro.

Perrino: Lethal pair of socks.

Andronikos wraps the sock around his fist, but it seems fatter at the end then a normal pair of socks does. Randy regains his feet, but not for long as the Son of Aries drives his fist and the socks into the side of Roko’s head.

Gringo: These men are using the crazy gifts of weapons and we still have loads of around the place.

Markos Andronikos smiles and empties the socks out and the camera shows the man from Greece had filled them with chestnuts from the table.

Blakeslee: Quick! Look in the ring.

Brian Tankard is using his quick hand speed to fend off an attack from both Archangel and Kai, the former is hit with a stinging shot, but the latter lands a kick to the gut. Tankard is soon on his back following a knee lift to the face.

OPEN MORE PRESENTS!!!

Gringo: I think the crowd wanna see want else there is to play with.

Just out of shot, while now in shot as the camera has moved. Ari Shapiro is now at ringside, with a largish present that he slides into the ring, sliding in after it. Hi'ilani Kai is helping Archangel to his feet and doesn’t see him. Picking up a gift that we missed him put into the ring, but by the shape, we can guess it’s a steel chair or something like that. The pop prince runs and nails Kai on the back, sending both of Winter’s boys crashing out the ring.

Perrino: Don’t think that was too smart bro.

Gringo: Come on, just open it.

You don’t need to ask him twice as Ari Shapiro rips away the paper to reveal…

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

A Karaoke Set

Blakeslee: Sing-a-long with Ari Shapiro.

Gringo: Let us see if he really is the prince of pop.

Checking the gift, Ari notices it’s battery powered so jumps from the ring and to the timekeeper, for some weird reason they actually have batteries, so Shapiro grabs them and a mic. Rolling back into the ring, rushing as he does so, The Jewish Superstar places the batteries in place and sets the extra microphone close, but not too closely the speaker…

[video=youtube_share;_vGPplLaVC0]http://youtu.be/_vGPplLaVC0[/video]​

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Perrino: Shoot me now.

Gringo: Give him a chance.

Shapiro: Well he just might like to know
He's put a great big smile on somebody's face
If you jump into your bed
Quickly cover up your head
Don't you lock the doors
You know that sweet Santa Claus in on the way

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Well I wish it could be Christmas every day
When the kids start singing and the band begins to play
Oh I wish it could be Christmas every day
So let the bells ring out for Christ…

Archangel cuts him off before he can finish.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Gringo: He wasn’t too bad.

Blakeslee: I expected much worse.

Perrino: (Covering his ears) Is it finished? What? Never mind.

Hi’lani Kai grabs the karaoke machine and readies himself as Archangel throws Ari towards him…

Smmmmmmmmmmmmmmmash!

Bits of plastic flies through the air as the once karaoke set is turned into a pile of broken plastic bits.

Perrino: Archangel and Hi’lani Kai making music together.

Gringo: Lame ese lame.

Blakeslee: How did that not split his head open.

Leaving the fallen Markos Andronikos, all the other men have made it back to the ring, and the seven men each look around the ring… Suddenly five of them turn towards the duo of Hi’lani Kai and Archangel.

Blakeslee: Looks like the others have noticed the double teaming.

Perrino: This is bad.

Roko is the first to make a move, but is quickly thrown over the top rope and to the floor below. But the former World Champion lands on his feet and quickly grabs the latest gift on show…

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Blakeslee: To quote the great man himself… BAH GAWD!!!

Gringo: Best has just picked up.

Perrino: Attempted murder charges anyone?

Randy shows off his new toy as the other back away. Roko tests it out by swinging across the ring apron and a large hole appearing in it.

Perrino: Something is going on over by the ramp way.

Blakeslee: We have trainers checking on Markos Andronikos.

Gringo: Do we have a replay?

A second screen appears and it shows Andronikos running towards the ring and going down hard. A second replay, from a different angle shows as he’s running, something causes his ankle to buckle under him.

Gringo: So unlucky for him, hopefully it’s just a twisted ankle as that takes no time to heal.

Blakeslee: Even thought he’s being helped to the back, the fact his able to put a bit of weight on it seems to me that it’s not a break.

Perrino: Enough about him… That mad man still has a sword… AND NOW HE’S IN THE RING!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Gringo: People better watch out, Randy has that sword and trust me – I’ve seen what he can do with it!

Perrino: That is a deadly weapon! Bro, someone needs to get in there and take it off of that maniac, who knows what he will do with it!?

Randy looks very pleased with the gift, almost as if fate wanted him to open that particular present. The other wrestlers are all looking a little wary right now...apart from Erics who is busy tearing open another similar sized present.

Blakeslee: Well, one thing is for sure, Randy just became the biggest target in that ring!

Erics: AHA!

All other wrestlers clear the ring as Erics stand on the opposite side of the ring to Roko...with his own sword! Apparently, more than one person thought to send dangerous, pointy swords to the ring. Randy looks amused at first, and then points his sword at Erics.

Randy: Avast, ye scurvy sea dog!

The older, more long-time fans of TWOStars mark out for the almost long forgotten pirate Randy Roko who has apparently resurfaced due to the sword. Erics, looking a little bit excited, points his sword right back at him.

Erics: Yeah! What you said!

The two slowly march towards each other and then their swords clash in the ring, the clang echoing throughout the arena. The fans cheer and rise to their feet as the two smash their swords against each other, circling each other.

Randy: Ye’ are not gettin’ to ma’ treasure, I’ll make sure ye’ drown alongside Davey Jones Locker!

Erics: ...uh...erm...Shut up Randy!

Randy: Really? That’s all you got dude?

The two share witty remarks (said with smiles and laughter of course) as they continue to clash around the ring. The fans each split up, one section chanting for Randy, another chanting for Erics. The wrestlers around the ring start opening presents, but unfortunately, they seem to be the most useless presents there at that time, including a Miley Cyrus poster, a pineapple and hello kitty t-shirt.

Gringo: Well, maybe Hi’Lani would look good in the Hello Kitty shirt!

Blakeslee: I cannot believe we are seeing an actual sword fight here tonight...

Gringo: It’s not the first time esé, Randy once went one on one with Lucian in one too!

A couple of seconds later, Randy slides his sword down to the base and with a yell of ‘Avast!’ he flicks it out of Erics hands. Quickly, stage hands grab the sword and carefully retreat with it up the ramp, obviously not wanting someone to get too seriously hurt...Randy points the sword at a defeated Erics and then to the mat, wanting a pinfall for his victory, but Archangel clubs him from behind and he drops the sword (which is also taken by ring hands).

Blakeslee: And with that, we seem to be back to normality...

Gringo: Esé, you call this match normality?

Perrino: Whoever thought of this match needs to be fired!

Gringo: Or promoted!

With the danger of being impaled now gone, all the wrestlers jump back into the fray. Davidson tries to sneak a pinfall on Erics, but Erics kicks out almost right away. Archangel turns Randy around and hits him with a massive clothesline to knock him down, but Tankard hits Archie with his own clothesline which knocks the big man down. Meanwhile, Shapiro and Kai are struggling against each other in the corner, each one trying to gain the advantage of the other.

Perrino: This is madness!

Gringo: Now, that’s a better way to describe this match!

Tankard and Roko go to work on Archangel, taking turns to land right hand punches while Kai gets the advantage over Shapiro in the corner, Erics and Davidson end up clothes lining each other to the outside and continue their battle out there.

Blakeslee: I don’t know which part to focus on!

Tankard takes Angel down with a quick clothesline and goes for a pin!

ONE!

T- Roko breaks the pin!

Blakeslee: Tankard going for the pin but Roko clearly doesn’t want that to happen!

The two begin arguing before inevitably coming to blows as Archangel recuperates in the corner. Kai takes Shapiro down with a 360 clothesline and then follows up with a drop down elbow and turns it into a pinfall!

ONE!

TWO!

T- Tankard and Roko break up the pin!

Gringo: As much as neither of them wants the other to win, neither of them wants Hi’Lani to win!

On the outside, Erics smashes Davidson against the barricade and then takes him out with a running boot to the face. A fan holds out a present and Erics accepts, bringing it into the ring as Randy and Tankard both throw Hi’Lani out of the ring after a brief two on one encounter.

Blakeslee: And Erics opening his present...what do you think he will get?

Erics opens it up to reveal...women’s perfume and lipstick! At first, he looks disappointed, but then his face brightens up and he motions to Tankard, Roko and Shapiro to Archangel...

Perrino: Wait...

Gringo: I think I see where they are going with this!

Randy, Tankard and Shapiro all nod and smile and snake towards Archangel who is just up to his feet. They all grab him and force him against the corner where he is helplessly screaming at them to let him go. Erics approaches with the woman’s perfume and Archangel’s eyes go wide with realisation.

Perrino: Bro, this is just plain bullying!!

Erics rushes in and sprays women’s perfume all over Archangel who struggles furiously against the unavoidable perfume spray. All three faces share a good laugh as Hi’Lani and Davidson are recuperating on the outside.

Blakeslee: No Hi’Lani to come to the rescue for now! Looks like Archangel is getting a makeover!

Gringo: Well at least he will smell a lot better!

Erics sprays until Archangel is surely smelling a lot more feminine, and then discards of the perfume and goes to work on his face with the lipstick as Roko/Tankard hold him down and Shapiro holds his face in place.

Perrino: Oh come on! This is simply just bullying!

Gringo: Really? You want to call this bullying, esé, with what Archangel has done to people for Winter?

Blakeslee: That’s a fair point, Brice.

Archangel gets a nice little smiley face on his cheek and LOSER printed on his forehead as well, and the faces are all laughing away in the ring.

Perrino: But Archangel was in the right when he did those things, bro. This is just plain bullying!

Hi’lani finally regains his senses on the outside and looks over at Angel. Seeing what is happening a look of rage crosses his face and he reaches for the nearest present and tears it open to reveal a crutch! He charges in the ring and Erics, Roko, Tankard and Shapiro all let go but it is too late. Kai, smashes Roko and Tankard in the face first and ducks a double clothesline from Erics and Shapiro to take them both down with a double clothesline!

Blakeslee: And all that carrying on backfired on them!

Kai drops down and tries to go for a cover on Erics!

ONE!

TWO!

THR- Kick out!

Tankard and Roko help each other to their feet but Kai double clotheslines them both out of the ring as Archangel comes out of the corner with murder in his eyes...although he does look a lot better.

Blakeslee: I would not want to be Shapiro or Erics right now!

Archangel and Kai drag Erics and Shapiro up to their feet but Shapiro kicks Kai in the stomach and escapes out of the ring. Erics however is not so lucky as Angel locks in a goozle and lifts him up and down for a chokeslam!

Blakeslee: Archangel gets a chokeslam and a possible pinfall!

But Archangel smiles at Hi’Lani and motions to Erics, who isn’t moving. Kai smirks back at him and drops down for the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!

Blakeslee: Archangel gives Hi’Lani the pinfall! Those two are clearly working together!

Gringo: Winter must have them under orders to win, it won’t matter to them who picks up the victory – as long as it’s one of them!

SH: And the new lead in this match via a pinfall – Hi’lani Kai!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO!

On the outside, Shapiro, Randy and Tankard are looking onwards to the ring with a look of concern for Erics. They share a brief discussion before Shapiro goes off and begins searching through presents for something useful while Randy and Tankard charge into the ring and begin battling with Kai and Angel!

LET’S GO CHRISTMAS! LET’S GO CHRISTMAS! LET’S GO CHRISTMAS!

Blakeslee: And an all out brawl has erupted in the ring! Erics rolls out of the way and out of the ring to recuperate!

Gringo: And Shapiro seems to have found something on the outside...

Shapiro does indeed as he throws away the wrapping and lifts up high...a stereo sound system? And in the other hand...a Justin Bieber CD?

Gringo: OH MY GOD!!

Perrino: Bro...NOT COOL!

Blakeslee: Shapiro has found the deadliest weapon we have seen all match, and even after him singing earlier!

Fans all around Shapiro are begging him to put the weapon down, but Shapiro has a sadistic grin on his face as he turns and inserts the CD into the stereo. He aims it at everyone in the ring, screaming a warning to Randy and Tankard to cover their ears (which they do) and hits play...

[video=youtube;vLJ9fHqDlOA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLJ9fHqDlOA[/video]​

Perrino: Oh my god bro! My ears!

Blakeslee: They might have to tap out here!! No one can withstand that painful submission!!

On the outside, Davidson had just finally recuperated but is now on the ground trying to clasp his hands over his ears. Inside the ring, Kai stumbles across to the turnbuckle and writhes in pain against it, whereas Archangel starts screaming about the music of Satan and how it is sinful against humanity.

Randy and Tankard, although they put their hands over their ears, are still affected. Even Erics, who is semi-conscious right now, is writhing in pain. Shapiro is even looking uncomfortable!

Gringo: Dear god esé...in all my years in TWOStars, I don’t ever think I’ve seen such a painful submission hold!

The chorus kicks in!

Gringo: OH MY GOD! Shapiro puts on the pain!!

The fans around Shapiro are begging him to turn off the deadly music, but Davidson is close to tapping! The referee, although in pain himself, is asking him if he wants to submit, and his hand is hovering over the outside floor!

Shapiro stumbles however, and has to bring his own hands up to his own ears. Rolling away from the stereo device, he is helpless to stop the music! Archangel manages to fall out of the ring and begins screaming at the stereo, calling it the work of Satan.

Perrino: Make it stop!

Archangel smashes the stereo but Davidson taps out!!

SH: Your new lead superstar via submission – Ari Shapiro!!

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief and with the assistance of the referee Davidson manages to make it back to his feet. Kai and Angel both recover and go to work on Shapiro on the outside as revenge for the terrible, most painful ever submission move. Randy goes out the outside and (grudgingly) helps out Shapiro and the four begin brawling on the outside while Erics and Tankard regroup in the ring.

Blakeslee: I think it is safe to say, we are all happy that that is over...

Gringo: Damn right esé...

Perrino: Bro, couldn’t have put it better myself....

Davidson gets into the ring and attacks both Tankard and Erics, taking down Tankard with a surprise clothesline and him and Erics begin slugging it out in the ring.

Blakeslee: I don’t even want to know what is going to happen next...currently, Ari Shapiro is the one in the lead!

Gringo: This has got to be the weirdest match we have had in the last year.

Perrino: Just the last year?

On the outside, Shapiro and Roko manage to beat down Kai but Archangel takes out Shapiro with a low blow. Him and Roko begin brawling up the ramp as Erics Irish whips Davidson into the turnbuckle and then hits a spear into the corner!

Blakeslee: Word from the back is Markos has only twisted the ankle, but doctors won’t allow him to return to the match to save more damage being done.

Gringo: That’s great news and a wise move by the doctors and also the management for not forcing him like past GM’s would have.

Perrino: (Ignoring the dig from Evil Gringo) I should have known this match was going to be weird the moment I saw it on paper...

Gringo: Changing the subject I see ese.

Blakeslee: Randy takes control over Archangel on the runway!

Gringo: Let’s hope we don’t see anyone too hurt up there!

Randy misses with a clothesline and Archangel locks in a goozle...

Blakeslee: CHOKESLAM!! Oh god! Randy was just chokeslammed onto the ramp!

Randy isn’t moving as some staff from the back comes out to check on him. Meanwhile, down near the ring...

Blakeslee: OH GOD!! Hi’Lani Kai spears Ari Shapiro through the barricade!!

HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!

Blakeslee: Two superstars are pretty much taken out in the space of a minute!

Hi’Lani and Archangel meet up outside the ring and look up at the ring where Tankard, Davidson and Erics are all brawling, unaware of what is going on the outside. As one, Kai and Angel rush into the ring and both of them spear Erics and Davidson respectively!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Blakeslee: Oh god! Two devastating spears to Erics and Davidson!

Both men roll out of the canvas as Kai and Archangel turn over to Tankard, but Tankard catches them with a double clothesline! Both men are down and the fans go wild as Tankard climbs back up to his feet and realises it’s down to three. Roaring, he turns and picks up Archangel, lifting him up and down with a TKO!

Blakeslee: Y.K.O on Archangel!!

Gringo: Esé...there’s only twenty seconds left on the clock!

Tankard drops down for a cover over Archangel...

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- Kai breaks up the pin!!

Blakeslee: No, damnit!

Both men reach their feet and rush at each other, but Kai ducks a clothesline attempt and rebounds off the rope for a spear!

Blakeslee: SPEAR! Spear to Tankard!!

Gringo: Ten seconds left!! Kai can win this thing!

Kai stands up over Tankard and looks smug...but he smirks, and drags Archangel over Tankard!

Blakeslee: Repaying the favour from earlier!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Gringo: Two seconds...

Kai lifts up Archangel who smiles at his partner as the time runs out.

DING DING DING!

SH: And the winner of this match up...Archangel!

Blakeslee: But we all really know who wins this match...Arron Winter!

Perrino: Don’t be so suspicious Broslee!

Gringo: The only reason they won is because they worked so well together. They even took turns on who went for the pinfall! They must have been under orders esé...

The camera locks on to Archangel and Kai as they raise their arms in victory and the boos surround them from all sounds, as we fade out to adverts.
 
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