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XTV 1:34 December to Dismember Xmas Special


Am disappoint, son
Senior Moderator
The TWOStars Logo appears on screen…

…as a stern voice reminds us…

"The following program is a post watershed production, it will contain scenes and story lines not suitable for children and some of the content may also be unacceptable to other viewers. This program may also contain strobe lighting effects."


With a blast of festive-tinged XTV theme music, we’re plunged into the relatively intimate setting for this evening, as the camera gets a good view at the lucky fans privileged enough to get their hands on the hottest Christmas ticket in town.

T-W-O!! T-W-O!! T-W-O!! T-W-O!!

The production crew do their utmost to recognise the hard work put in by the fans, by including a few shots of some of the finer signs on display tonight…​




…before swinging the camera over to our announce position for the evening, where we find our announce team prepped to cover all the Christmas action. Jaxon is resplendent in a (admittedly garish as hell) Christmas Jumper, while Gringo appears to be dressed as some kind of Mexican elf. Brice sits sulkily, wrapped in a HUGE fur coat (although I’m assuming it’s fake…it is fake, right guys?).

JB: Hello, good evening, and welcome to this very special TWOStars XTV Christmas Special, where we’re coming to you live tonight from Santa’s Village in Lapland. It doesn’t get much more Christmassy than that!

EG: Felices Navidad amigos!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and the Evil Gringo is hyped to be spending part of it right here in the home of the big man in red himself!!

BP: Bro, I am soooo cold. Seriously, when are we gonna get back to calling shows in places where I can actually feel my feet?

JB: Well it may be cold outside, but we’ve got red hot action coming tonight to keep this crowd warm through this winter’s night in the form of not only our mammoth Christmas Present Brawl, but well also see Frankie Thomson defend his TWOStars Heavyweight Title against the number one contender, Lucian L. Jones!

EG: I can’t wait for both of those matches, homes! I got a feeling it’s not gonna be a “silent night” if you catch my drift, ese!

BP: Christmas puns? Really bro?​
Donald Erics is…The Fugitive

Big Bri Brings the Festive Cheer


Back from adverts, and we’re once more thrown in to the madness of the screaming fans crammed into Santa’s Village.

JB: Welcome back to the XTV Christmas Special folks, and don’t get moving from that chair, because we’re about to bring you our first ever Christmas Present Brawl!!

EG: This is what I’ve been waiting for ese!!

JB: 8 of TWOStars finest are about to go toe-to-toe for 30 crazy minutes where anything goes! We’ve asked the TWOStars fans in attendance to giftwrap a number of items, which have been strewn around the arena. These items can be retrieved and used during the match, but you’re never gonna be quite sure what you’re gonna get! The last man to score a pinfall or submission within the 30 minute time limit will be declared the winner!

BP: Nothing says Christmas like 8 people arguing over who gets to open which gift!!

JB: It looks like we’re ready to let the mayhem commence, so let’s take you Salvator Hier for the introductions…​
Christmas Present Brawl
Simon Davidson vs. Donald Erics vs. Archangel vs. Randy Roko vs. Hi'ilani Kai vs. Brian Tankard vs. Markos Andronikos vs. Ari Shapiro

We fade back to the arena where all the fans are excited, their signs are in the air, and we cut to the announcer in the ring.

SH: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is the first ever, Christmas Present Brawl match! The rules are as follows; gifts are wrapped and left around the arena for our superstars to find and unwrap! The majority of them are located around the ring area. This match is to be contested with a time-limit and the last man to gain a pinfall or submission is declared the victor!

The fans cheer and get to their feet.

SH: And introducing first...


Blakeslee: I am excited for this match up, guys!

Gringo: Who knows what we will see, esé?

Perrino: Anything could happen!

A resounding “HO, HO, HOOOO!” echoes throughout the arena, and nine ‘reindeers’ come through the enlarged entranceway, each holding a rope. Then, a sleigh appears through the entranceway (with many small wheels at bottom for ease of transport)!

Perrino: Oh god...

SH: ... Brian Tankard, Ari Shapiro, Randy Roko and Donald Erics all along with...Santa Claus!


The reindeers pull the sleigh down the ramp, and everyone in the sleigh throws out fake snow everywhere, making the crowd scream with delight. The reindeers stop at the bottom of the ramp and everyone gets out apart from Santa and slides into the ring. Before anything else even remotely fun can take place...



The reindeers hurriedly try to pull the sleigh back up the ramp but Hi’Lani Kai, Archangel and Davidson all walk out on stage. They push the reindeers about and hurl abuse at Santa, much to the dislike of the crowd and the wrestlers in the ring.

SH: And introducing their opponents, Hi’lani Kai, Archangel, Markos Andronikos and Simon Davidson!

The four men charge down to the ring and slide in as the music cuts out and they get right to the brawling.

Ding. Ding.

Gringo: Here we go.

As quick as the brawl starts, the ref enters the ring to stop it until the bell goes.


The faces each send a man over the top rope, or through the ropes to the outside, allowing the officials to gain a bit of control.

SH: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been informed that this match will start once each man has grabbed and opened a present each.


Gringo: The toys in play from the off.

Perrino: Crazy match so might as well start it the same way.

Blakeslee: Genius idea.

Archangel and Hi’lani Kai both enter the ring with a gift, while the other six men make there picks. One of the refs grabs two gifts and explains to Winter’s boys that the must take part for the match too start. The pair snatches the gifts while looking at each other.

Perrino: Bro’s don’t look happy.

Wasting no time, the duo opens the gifts… Archangel opens and reveals a smoking pipe and he just stares at it. Hi’lani Kai reveals a farmers hat and tosses it in the middle of the ring as does his partner.

Perrino: What a boring start.

Ari Shapiro is the first man to join them and he opens to reveal a glass ant’s farm, and he places it in the corner as if it breaks, glass everywhere.

Gringo: Ese! Those are red ants, they bite.

Blakeslee: You’re right Gringo.

Perrino: (Mockingly) You’re right Pingu.

Meanwhile Randy Roko, Markos Andronikos and Donald Erics have selected their gifts. Ari is trying to see what Erics has, but he’s awaiting the Greek God to open his first. He does so and reveals a …

Perrino: Finally something good.

Blakeslee: An old fashion nightstick.


The crowd cheer the first weapon that they know can deliver pain.

Simon Davidson opens his outside the ring and it’s a DVD of the greatest TWOstars battles vol #14 Evil Gringo Vs Craig Van Dam. Davidson launches it into the crowd for one lucky member of the crowd. Randy Roko opens his the same time that Brian Tankard does. Randy finds a selection box, to which he quickly opens it and throws the sweets to the kids in the front row. While that happens the Tank reveals biker gloves, and with a smile on his face, the Yorkshire Bastard begins to put them on as we await Erics reveal.

Perrino: Come on.

Blakeslee: The bell did actually sound before, so I guess the timer is already underway.

The Don opens it to reveal a bible…

Gringo: Archangel doesn’t look happy.

Perrino: For once, I agree with you bro.

Archangel charges towards Donald, but the friend of Chaos Dragon along with Ari pulls down the top rope causing Arch to fly out of the ring.

Hi’lani Kai runs in and knocks Shapiro through the ropes and grabs a hold of the man of insulted his “friend” before throwing him over the top. But unlike the others, he lands on the apron…



The sight of flying mud, red ants and of course broken glass rains down as Archangel shows his mean side by smashing the ants farm over the lower back of Donald Erics of falls to the mat and then the arena floor, while in the ring the others look on.

Perrino: The desk is covered in mud, where are the damn cleaners.

Gringo: Just push it.

The deadly duo set up for what looks like a double choke slam on the outside to the Prince of Pop Culture. Out of nowhere, Randy Roko flies through the air, wiping out all three men. This left Markos Andronikos, Simon Davidson and Brian Tankard, who has put on the discard farmers hat and also has the pipe.

Gringo: That’s what most people think Yorkshire folks look like.

Perrino: Smart thinking Simon.

The former druggie is attempting to talk Markos into helping him, but the poor bloke as no idea Andronikos doesn’t understand him. Without warning, Simmo delivers a kick to mid-section of the Yorkshire Hardman. With him doubled over Davidson points to his foot and then to the Greek God, lifting his leg up as to say you kick his head off.

Blakeslee: Lets see if he understood or not.

Simon whips Tankard towards the Son of Aries… But Brian reverses and like Simmo said, Markos Andronikos was ready.

Gringo: He did.

Davidson down holding his face leaving Brian Tankard and Markos to exchange punches. Given it’s not his styles, the Greece Star is currently second best in this exchange, only for the Tank to get close and…

Gringo: Lovely belly to belly release suplex by Andronikos.

Blakeslee: Brian is straight back up though.

Andronikos charges towards him…

Perrino: And that’s the Minotaur's Charge.

Blakeslee: Gets the job done.

Andronikos with the first pinfall attempt.



Thre… Shoulder up.


Gringo: Too early!

On the outside, Hi’lani Kai has gained control and sends Randy Roko into a tower of gifts, causing them to come crashing down around him. Archangel is busy with Ari Shapiro.

Gringo: Has anyone checked on Donald?

Blakeslee: Ari did before Kai got him.

The Rolling Pirate jumps out from the bottom of the gifts with something, not giving the camera a chance to catch it, Randy smashes it into the face of Arch causing different coloured liquid to cover anyone close by.

Perrino: It’s shower gel, the works.

Gringo: A bath guys set.

Blakeslee: You mean a guys bath set?

Gringo: :greets4:

Back into the ring, Andronikos has Simmo up for the Wrath of the Titans; from nowhere Brian Tankard lands his Big Left, sending Markos and Simon to the mat.

Cover by Tankard…




Ding, Ding.

SH: The winner of the fall… Brian Tankard!!!


Blakeslee: Never seen that before, someone about out cold as they hit their own finisher.

Gringo: Davidson is lucky they fell the way they did or he could’ve landed funny and blew out a knee or something.

Donald Erics slowly runs back into the ring, Tank meets him with a kick to the head. Unsure just how hurt Erics is, Brian grabs his head to bring him back to a standing position only for Don to catch him…

Blakeslee: Quick roll up…




Ding, Ding.

SH: The winner of this fall… Donald Erics!!!


Gingerly getting to his feet, the Don fails to see Randy Roko standing in wait…

Gringo: Riptide, a move I know so well.

Perrino: He stole your move bro.

Gringo: All moves are copied by someone, I’m proud when I see someone hit a move I once used, most so when that man is a former World Champion like himself.

Roko covers…




Ding, Ding.


SH: The winner of the fall… Randy Roko!

Gringo: Ten minutes in and we have a second pinfall ese.

Perrino: Erics was winning for like five seconds. Not good Bro.

The Rolling Pirate dodges a double clothesline attempt from Archangel and Hi'ilani Kai, only to be met by a huge kick by the Greek.

Blakeslee: The Thunderbolt!!! Randy ran straight into it and it near took his head off.

Gringo: That’ll leave a mark.

Perrino: I think I’m being attacked by them red ants… So itchy Bro.

On the outside of the ring Simon Davidson and Ari Shapiro are battling it out while down on the floor is Brian Tankard. From nowhere Randy Roko dives through the ropes, taking out both men, but is soon joined by Hi'ilani Kai and Archangel. But the former World Champ quickly slides back into the ring, and like a cat leaps from the sliding position and nails a pin point dropkick to the face of Markos Andronikos.

Blakeslee: Randy is on fire.


Kai, from the outside throws an unopened present at Roko, who catches it, but the distraction is enough for Archangel to nail a clothesline from the blindside. Hi'ilani Kai Joins him over Roko, but the pair turns their attention to the incoming Tankard, armed with a …

Perrino: Bro got heat.

Gringo: It’s a water gun ese.

Hi'ilani Kai makes the first move and Big Bri pulls the trigger and water smashes into his face, which causes a shocked Kai moves back. Archangel now dashes towards the Tank, but instead of water, he has the water pistol smashed over his head. The force knocks him off his feet and within seconds Hi’ilani regains his composure and the big men do at it.

Blakeslee: Brian likes a good fight.

Gringo: The Yorkshire bastard can swing fists with the best of em.

Looking more like a pub fight then a wrestling match, the duo land down bombs on each other when suddenly Brian grabs a hold of Kai and lifts him into the air…


Gringo: Bri Bomb on Kai.

Perrino: Big Bro shook the ring with that move.

The camera moves to the entrance way where Donald Erics and Randy Roko are squaring off. Having slammed Roko into the table full of gifts, the crowd shout to open a present. The Don grabs a small present.

Perrino: What’s that going to do?

Blakeslee: What is it?

Erics rips it open to reveal a pack of playing cards and betting chips, clearing the rest of the table. Donald looks around and starts to split the cards. Roko begins to make it to his feet but from behind Davidson grabs him by the hair…


The former Druggie and Pirate stop and look.

DE: It’s Christmas and at Christmas you play games… Let’s play poker.

Seemly agreeing the duo stand by the table and Erics deals out two cards each. Each man throws in a few chips before Don turns over the first three cards. Randy looks a bit worried, but checks, Davidson bets some chips as does the dealer. Randy Roko folds.

SD: Don, I buddy Don. How about the winner takes the pot AND is allowed a pinfall against the other?

DE: Umm…

SD: Great.

Both men check on the next two cards and Davidson reveals a strong full house. Erics only has a pair, as the gentleman he is. Donald lay’s down.



Roko looks on.

Thre… Randy breaks the pin.

Perrino: Hey, they agreed.

Gringo: Roko isn’t going to stand by and let someone win.

Blakeslee: Plus Randy is currently winning.

Simmo and the Rolling Pirate continue to go at it, as the camera rejoins us in the ring where Markos Andronikos and Ari Shapiro lock up, the Greek God back the Prince of Pop Culture into the corner, delivering a hard knee to the mid-section. Having broken the lock up, Markos grabs the waist of Ari and attempts a belly to back suplex, but Shapiro is holding onto the ropes. From behind, Kai grabs Andronikos and after a couple of seconds lifts him into the air, sending both the Son of Aries and the Prince of Pop over his head.


Gringo: What power, a double belly to back suplex by Winter’s monster.

Blakeslee: Andronikos has one of the strongest grips, so if he was going over, he was taking Ari with him.

Simon Davidson pushes Roko into Ari Shapiro, who drops the gift he’d just picked up. With them tangled up with each other and the boxes, Simmo runs over to the largest present on the stage. With the camera near by, Davidson points toward himself and with the worst acting ever, overreacts while asking if this gift is for him. A short laugh is let out, and the long time “friend” of the World Champion begins to rip open the gift…


Gringo: Oh no!

Perrino: Bet he wishes he’d not opened it.

Simon looks in horror as in front of him is an oiled up Keith Jaxx, rubbing his nipple while licking his lips…

Blakeslee: Dear god!



Jaxx causes Simon to fall over, let unable to get away.

Perrino: I feel sick.

Gringo: Face that way ese.

Keith Jaxx jumps to his feet and takes in the cheers before heading to the back. Ari quickly goes for the cover.




SH: The winner of the fall… Ari Shapiro.


Back to ringside.

Markos and Archangel trade blows as Tankard drives his knee into the mid-section of Hi'ilani Kai. One half of Winter’s men nails the Greek God with a stiff right hand, before raking his hands down the face, blinding Andronikos for the moment.

Perrino: Tankard better watch out.

Archangel charges towards his running buddy, looking to make the save…

Gringo: HE MISSED.

Blakeslee: Archangel crushes his partner.

The shock on Archangels face says it all, but before he knows it, the Yorkshire Bastard spins him around, levelling him with a hard left hand.

Blakeslee: Brian calls that the big left.

Perrino: Who names their own moves?

Gringo: The same people who give themselves nicknames like Million ese.

Tankard: Let’s be havin tha!

But the Yorkshire Hardman turns straight into a huge big boot by Andronikos.

Blakeslee: Andronkios with the cover…




Ding, Ding.

SH: The winner of the fall… Markos Andronikos!


The Greek God quickly jumps up and makes his way outside the ring, grabbing the first present he can get his hands on. Ripping the wrapper off to reveal the present everyone loves to hate…

Perrino: I’d have gone mad if I got those.

Gringo: I don’t mind, it’s the thought that counts.

Perrino: How much thought goes into plain white socks bro.?

Just as he’s about to throw them, it seems the man from Greece has an idea. Breaking the seal and pulling out the item, Andronikos pulls them between both hands and from behind wraps them around the neck of an unsuspecting Randy Roko.


Simon Davidson rejoins the action, delivering blow after blow to the mid-rift of the former World Champion. The attack is soon stopped as Ari Shapiro and Donald Erics join the battle. Erics knocks Markos into a table, while Simmo and Ari trade shots… Suddenly the Don falls to the floor, followed by Davidson and finally Shapiro.

Perrino: Lethal pair of socks.

Andronikos wraps the sock around his fist, but it seems fatter at the end then a normal pair of socks does. Randy regains his feet, but not for long as the Son of Aries drives his fist and the socks into the side of Roko’s head.

Gringo: These men are using the crazy gifts of weapons and we still have loads of around the place.

Markos Andronikos smiles and empties the socks out and the camera shows the man from Greece had filled them with chestnuts from the table.

Blakeslee: Quick! Look in the ring.

Brian Tankard is using his quick hand speed to fend off an attack from both Archangel and Kai, the former is hit with a stinging shot, but the latter lands a kick to the gut. Tankard is soon on his back following a knee lift to the face.


Gringo: I think the crowd wanna see want else there is to play with.

Just out of shot, while now in shot as the camera has moved. Ari Shapiro is now at ringside, with a largish present that he slides into the ring, sliding in after it. Hi'ilani Kai is helping Archangel to his feet and doesn’t see him. Picking up a gift that we missed him put into the ring, but by the shape, we can guess it’s a steel chair or something like that. The pop prince runs and nails Kai on the back, sending both of Winter’s boys crashing out the ring.

Perrino: Don’t think that was too smart bro.

Gringo: Come on, just open it.

You don’t need to ask him twice as Ari Shapiro rips away the paper to reveal…


A Karaoke Set

Blakeslee: Sing-a-long with Ari Shapiro.

Gringo: Let us see if he really is the prince of pop.

Checking the gift, Ari notices it’s battery powered so jumps from the ring and to the timekeeper, for some weird reason they actually have batteries, so Shapiro grabs them and a mic. Rolling back into the ring, rushing as he does so, The Jewish Superstar places the batteries in place and sets the extra microphone close, but not too closely the speaker…



Perrino: Shoot me now.

Gringo: Give him a chance.

Shapiro: Well he just might like to know
He's put a great big smile on somebody's face
If you jump into your bed
Quickly cover up your head
Don't you lock the doors
You know that sweet Santa Claus in on the way


Well I wish it could be Christmas every day
When the kids start singing and the band begins to play
Oh I wish it could be Christmas every day
So let the bells ring out for Christ…

Archangel cuts him off before he can finish.


Gringo: He wasn’t too bad.

Blakeslee: I expected much worse.

Perrino: (Covering his ears) Is it finished? What? Never mind.

Hi’lani Kai grabs the karaoke machine and readies himself as Archangel throws Ari towards him…


Bits of plastic flies through the air as the once karaoke set is turned into a pile of broken plastic bits.

Perrino: Archangel and Hi’lani Kai making music together.

Gringo: Lame ese lame.

Blakeslee: How did that not split his head open.

Leaving the fallen Markos Andronikos, all the other men have made it back to the ring, and the seven men each look around the ring… Suddenly five of them turn towards the duo of Hi’lani Kai and Archangel.

Blakeslee: Looks like the others have noticed the double teaming.

Perrino: This is bad.

Roko is the first to make a move, but is quickly thrown over the top rope and to the floor below. But the former World Champion lands on his feet and quickly grabs the latest gift on show…


Blakeslee: To quote the great man himself… BAH GAWD!!!

Gringo: Best has just picked up.

Perrino: Attempted murder charges anyone?

Randy shows off his new toy as the other back away. Roko tests it out by swinging across the ring apron and a large hole appearing in it.

Perrino: Something is going on over by the ramp way.

Blakeslee: We have trainers checking on Markos Andronikos.

Gringo: Do we have a replay?

A second screen appears and it shows Andronikos running towards the ring and going down hard. A second replay, from a different angle shows as he’s running, something causes his ankle to buckle under him.

Gringo: So unlucky for him, hopefully it’s just a twisted ankle as that takes no time to heal.

Blakeslee: Even thought he’s being helped to the back, the fact his able to put a bit of weight on it seems to me that it’s not a break.

Perrino: Enough about him… That mad man still has a sword… AND NOW HE’S IN THE RING!!!


Gringo: People better watch out, Randy has that sword and trust me – I’ve seen what he can do with it!

Perrino: That is a deadly weapon! Bro, someone needs to get in there and take it off of that maniac, who knows what he will do with it!?

Randy looks very pleased with the gift, almost as if fate wanted him to open that particular present. The other wrestlers are all looking a little wary right now...apart from Erics who is busy tearing open another similar sized present.

Blakeslee: Well, one thing is for sure, Randy just became the biggest target in that ring!

Erics: AHA!

All other wrestlers clear the ring as Erics stand on the opposite side of the ring to Roko...with his own sword! Apparently, more than one person thought to send dangerous, pointy swords to the ring. Randy looks amused at first, and then points his sword at Erics.

Randy: Avast, ye scurvy sea dog!

The older, more long-time fans of TWOStars mark out for the almost long forgotten pirate Randy Roko who has apparently resurfaced due to the sword. Erics, looking a little bit excited, points his sword right back at him.

Erics: Yeah! What you said!

The two slowly march towards each other and then their swords clash in the ring, the clang echoing throughout the arena. The fans cheer and rise to their feet as the two smash their swords against each other, circling each other.

Randy: Ye’ are not gettin’ to ma’ treasure, I’ll make sure ye’ drown alongside Davey Jones Locker!

Erics: ...uh...erm...Shut up Randy!

Randy: Really? That’s all you got dude?

The two share witty remarks (said with smiles and laughter of course) as they continue to clash around the ring. The fans each split up, one section chanting for Randy, another chanting for Erics. The wrestlers around the ring start opening presents, but unfortunately, they seem to be the most useless presents there at that time, including a Miley Cyrus poster, a pineapple and hello kitty t-shirt.

Gringo: Well, maybe Hi’Lani would look good in the Hello Kitty shirt!

Blakeslee: I cannot believe we are seeing an actual sword fight here tonight...

Gringo: It’s not the first time esé, Randy once went one on one with Lucian in one too!

A couple of seconds later, Randy slides his sword down to the base and with a yell of ‘Avast!’ he flicks it out of Erics hands. Quickly, stage hands grab the sword and carefully retreat with it up the ramp, obviously not wanting someone to get too seriously hurt...Randy points the sword at a defeated Erics and then to the mat, wanting a pinfall for his victory, but Archangel clubs him from behind and he drops the sword (which is also taken by ring hands).

Blakeslee: And with that, we seem to be back to normality...

Gringo: Esé, you call this match normality?

Perrino: Whoever thought of this match needs to be fired!

Gringo: Or promoted!

With the danger of being impaled now gone, all the wrestlers jump back into the fray. Davidson tries to sneak a pinfall on Erics, but Erics kicks out almost right away. Archangel turns Randy around and hits him with a massive clothesline to knock him down, but Tankard hits Archie with his own clothesline which knocks the big man down. Meanwhile, Shapiro and Kai are struggling against each other in the corner, each one trying to gain the advantage of the other.

Perrino: This is madness!

Gringo: Now, that’s a better way to describe this match!

Tankard and Roko go to work on Archangel, taking turns to land right hand punches while Kai gets the advantage over Shapiro in the corner, Erics and Davidson end up clothes lining each other to the outside and continue their battle out there.

Blakeslee: I don’t know which part to focus on!

Tankard takes Angel down with a quick clothesline and goes for a pin!


T- Roko breaks the pin!

Blakeslee: Tankard going for the pin but Roko clearly doesn’t want that to happen!

The two begin arguing before inevitably coming to blows as Archangel recuperates in the corner. Kai takes Shapiro down with a 360 clothesline and then follows up with a drop down elbow and turns it into a pinfall!



T- Tankard and Roko break up the pin!

Gringo: As much as neither of them wants the other to win, neither of them wants Hi’Lani to win!

On the outside, Erics smashes Davidson against the barricade and then takes him out with a running boot to the face. A fan holds out a present and Erics accepts, bringing it into the ring as Randy and Tankard both throw Hi’Lani out of the ring after a brief two on one encounter.

Blakeslee: And Erics opening his present...what do you think he will get?

Erics opens it up to reveal...women’s perfume and lipstick! At first, he looks disappointed, but then his face brightens up and he motions to Tankard, Roko and Shapiro to Archangel...

Perrino: Wait...

Gringo: I think I see where they are going with this!

Randy, Tankard and Shapiro all nod and smile and snake towards Archangel who is just up to his feet. They all grab him and force him against the corner where he is helplessly screaming at them to let him go. Erics approaches with the woman’s perfume and Archangel’s eyes go wide with realisation.

Perrino: Bro, this is just plain bullying!!

Erics rushes in and sprays women’s perfume all over Archangel who struggles furiously against the unavoidable perfume spray. All three faces share a good laugh as Hi’Lani and Davidson are recuperating on the outside.

Blakeslee: No Hi’Lani to come to the rescue for now! Looks like Archangel is getting a makeover!

Gringo: Well at least he will smell a lot better!

Erics sprays until Archangel is surely smelling a lot more feminine, and then discards of the perfume and goes to work on his face with the lipstick as Roko/Tankard hold him down and Shapiro holds his face in place.

Perrino: Oh come on! This is simply just bullying!

Gringo: Really? You want to call this bullying, esé, with what Archangel has done to people for Winter?

Blakeslee: That’s a fair point, Brice.

Archangel gets a nice little smiley face on his cheek and LOSER printed on his forehead as well, and the faces are all laughing away in the ring.

Perrino: But Archangel was in the right when he did those things, bro. This is just plain bullying!

Hi’lani finally regains his senses on the outside and looks over at Angel. Seeing what is happening a look of rage crosses his face and he reaches for the nearest present and tears it open to reveal a crutch! He charges in the ring and Erics, Roko, Tankard and Shapiro all let go but it is too late. Kai, smashes Roko and Tankard in the face first and ducks a double clothesline from Erics and Shapiro to take them both down with a double clothesline!

Blakeslee: And all that carrying on backfired on them!

Kai drops down and tries to go for a cover on Erics!



THR- Kick out!

Tankard and Roko help each other to their feet but Kai double clotheslines them both out of the ring as Archangel comes out of the corner with murder in his eyes...although he does look a lot better.

Blakeslee: I would not want to be Shapiro or Erics right now!

Archangel and Kai drag Erics and Shapiro up to their feet but Shapiro kicks Kai in the stomach and escapes out of the ring. Erics however is not so lucky as Angel locks in a goozle and lifts him up and down for a chokeslam!

Blakeslee: Archangel gets a chokeslam and a possible pinfall!

But Archangel smiles at Hi’Lani and motions to Erics, who isn’t moving. Kai smirks back at him and drops down for the cover.




Blakeslee: Archangel gives Hi’Lani the pinfall! Those two are clearly working together!

Gringo: Winter must have them under orders to win, it won’t matter to them who picks up the victory – as long as it’s one of them!

SH: And the new lead in this match via a pinfall – Hi’lani Kai!


On the outside, Shapiro, Randy and Tankard are looking onwards to the ring with a look of concern for Erics. They share a brief discussion before Shapiro goes off and begins searching through presents for something useful while Randy and Tankard charge into the ring and begin battling with Kai and Angel!


Blakeslee: And an all out brawl has erupted in the ring! Erics rolls out of the way and out of the ring to recuperate!

Gringo: And Shapiro seems to have found something on the outside...

Shapiro does indeed as he throws away the wrapping and lifts up high...a stereo sound system? And in the other hand...a Justin Bieber CD?

Gringo: OH MY GOD!!

Perrino: Bro...NOT COOL!

Blakeslee: Shapiro has found the deadliest weapon we have seen all match, and even after him singing earlier!

Fans all around Shapiro are begging him to put the weapon down, but Shapiro has a sadistic grin on his face as he turns and inserts the CD into the stereo. He aims it at everyone in the ring, screaming a warning to Randy and Tankard to cover their ears (which they do) and hits play...


Perrino: Oh my god bro! My ears!

Blakeslee: They might have to tap out here!! No one can withstand that painful submission!!

On the outside, Davidson had just finally recuperated but is now on the ground trying to clasp his hands over his ears. Inside the ring, Kai stumbles across to the turnbuckle and writhes in pain against it, whereas Archangel starts screaming about the music of Satan and how it is sinful against humanity.

Randy and Tankard, although they put their hands over their ears, are still affected. Even Erics, who is semi-conscious right now, is writhing in pain. Shapiro is even looking uncomfortable!

Gringo: Dear god esé all my years in TWOStars, I don’t ever think I’ve seen such a painful submission hold!

The chorus kicks in!

Gringo: OH MY GOD! Shapiro puts on the pain!!

The fans around Shapiro are begging him to turn off the deadly music, but Davidson is close to tapping! The referee, although in pain himself, is asking him if he wants to submit, and his hand is hovering over the outside floor!

Shapiro stumbles however, and has to bring his own hands up to his own ears. Rolling away from the stereo device, he is helpless to stop the music! Archangel manages to fall out of the ring and begins screaming at the stereo, calling it the work of Satan.

Perrino: Make it stop!

Archangel smashes the stereo but Davidson taps out!!

SH: Your new lead superstar via submission – Ari Shapiro!!

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief and with the assistance of the referee Davidson manages to make it back to his feet. Kai and Angel both recover and go to work on Shapiro on the outside as revenge for the terrible, most painful ever submission move. Randy goes out the outside and (grudgingly) helps out Shapiro and the four begin brawling on the outside while Erics and Tankard regroup in the ring.

Blakeslee: I think it is safe to say, we are all happy that that is over...

Gringo: Damn right esé...

Perrino: Bro, couldn’t have put it better myself....

Davidson gets into the ring and attacks both Tankard and Erics, taking down Tankard with a surprise clothesline and him and Erics begin slugging it out in the ring.

Blakeslee: I don’t even want to know what is going to happen next...currently, Ari Shapiro is the one in the lead!

Gringo: This has got to be the weirdest match we have had in the last year.

Perrino: Just the last year?

On the outside, Shapiro and Roko manage to beat down Kai but Archangel takes out Shapiro with a low blow. Him and Roko begin brawling up the ramp as Erics Irish whips Davidson into the turnbuckle and then hits a spear into the corner!

Blakeslee: Word from the back is Markos has only twisted the ankle, but doctors won’t allow him to return to the match to save more damage being done.

Gringo: That’s great news and a wise move by the doctors and also the management for not forcing him like past GM’s would have.

Perrino: (Ignoring the dig from Evil Gringo) I should have known this match was going to be weird the moment I saw it on paper...

Gringo: Changing the subject I see ese.

Blakeslee: Randy takes control over Archangel on the runway!

Gringo: Let’s hope we don’t see anyone too hurt up there!

Randy misses with a clothesline and Archangel locks in a goozle...

Blakeslee: CHOKESLAM!! Oh god! Randy was just chokeslammed onto the ramp!

Randy isn’t moving as some staff from the back comes out to check on him. Meanwhile, down near the ring...

Blakeslee: OH GOD!! Hi’Lani Kai spears Ari Shapiro through the barricade!!


Blakeslee: Two superstars are pretty much taken out in the space of a minute!

Hi’Lani and Archangel meet up outside the ring and look up at the ring where Tankard, Davidson and Erics are all brawling, unaware of what is going on the outside. As one, Kai and Angel rush into the ring and both of them spear Erics and Davidson respectively!


Blakeslee: Oh god! Two devastating spears to Erics and Davidson!

Both men roll out of the canvas as Kai and Archangel turn over to Tankard, but Tankard catches them with a double clothesline! Both men are down and the fans go wild as Tankard climbs back up to his feet and realises it’s down to three. Roaring, he turns and picks up Archangel, lifting him up and down with a TKO!

Blakeslee: Y.K.O on Archangel!!

Gringo: Esé...there’s only twenty seconds left on the clock!

Tankard drops down for a cover over Archangel...



THRE- Kai breaks up the pin!!

Blakeslee: No, damnit!

Both men reach their feet and rush at each other, but Kai ducks a clothesline attempt and rebounds off the rope for a spear!

Blakeslee: SPEAR! Spear to Tankard!!

Gringo: Ten seconds left!! Kai can win this thing!

Kai stands up over Tankard and looks smug...but he smirks, and drags Archangel over Tankard!

Blakeslee: Repaying the favour from earlier!




Gringo: Two seconds...

Kai lifts up Archangel who smiles at his partner as the time runs out.


SH: And the winner of this match up...Archangel!

Blakeslee: But we all really know who wins this match...Arron Winter!

Perrino: Don’t be so suspicious Broslee!

Gringo: The only reason they won is because they worked so well together. They even took turns on who went for the pinfall! They must have been under orders esé...

The camera locks on to Archangel and Kai as they raise their arms in victory and the boos surround them from all sounds, as we fade out to adverts.​


With another blast of the festive jingly-jangly version of the XTV theme music, we’re back in the arena and once again joining our commentary team at the announce position.

JB: Welcome back to our XTV Christmas Spectacular folks, and thank you for inviting us into your homes on this cold December evening! Sit back, put your feet up, grab a hot cocoa and don’t go anywhere! We’ve already seen our first ever Christmas Present Brawl come to a shocking conclusion with Archangel and Hi’ilani Kai forming a formidable duo, but coming up soon is our huge main event, which pits TWOStars Heavyweight Champion Frankie Thomson against “His Highness of Flyness” Lucian “Legendary” Jones, you are not gonna want to miss that!

BP: Meh.

JB: Well our broadcast colleague Bambi Greene is backstage looking to get a word in with our number one contender, let’s take you back there.​
All Lucian wants for Christmas is…



It’s a Main Event…but not as we know it.

TWOStars World Heavyweight Championship
Frankie Thomson © vs. Lord Bison

Thomson starts out like a house on fire, staggering Bison with a flurry of quick shots. The Leith Destroyer uses his speed advantage to pick away at Bison, not showing any intimidation or ill effects from the huge surprise just thrust upon him. All is going well for Frankie until he gets just ever so slightly over-confident, finding himself caught in the grasp of Bison, and driven down with a devastating Spinebuster that drives the air out of the lungs of the champion.

Bison seizes the advantage, dragging Frankie outside the ring, and the pair brawling all over the ringside area. The assault from Bison only relents when he clotheslines Frankie over the barricade and into the crowd. Fun Time Frankie does his best to take the opportunity to regain his bearings, but Bison is already over the barricade himself and bearing down on his target.

The two men fight through the crowd, as the whooping and hollering TWOStars faithful cheer on Frankie and his refusal to go down without a fight. Out in the crowd, the audience start to offer Frankie anything they can lay their hands on, chairs, merchandise, one guy even hands over his crutch, all in an effort to give Frankie something to even the odds a little.

Frankie finds his championship resolve, fighting back against the wave of destruction that is Bison, driving the big man back over the safety barriers and into the ringside area. Arming himself with a chair, Frankie delivers a series of crushing blows to Bison, laying the big man out across the announce table, before climbing the nearest turnbuckle and steeling his resolve.

Frankie flies off the turnbuckle, thrusting his elbow directly into the heart of Bison and exploding them both through the announce table with a picture perfect Working Class Elbow! The crowd goes wild as Frankie and Bison lay prone in the splintered remains of the commentary position.

Somehow, Bison is the first to his feet, which gives us the great image of a camera catching a fan stood mouth agape, eyes wide in shock, as Bison rises to his feet before him. His Lordship drags Frankie back to his feet, tossing the champion back into the ring. Frankie isn’t done yet though, firing off stiff forearms into the face of Lord Bison…only to find Bison snatching him up and onto his shoulder with ease. Kicking and squirming with everything he has left, Frankie manages to slide down the back of Bison, dragging him into a reverse facelock and drilling the bigger man with the Final Hit, much to the delight of the crowd!

Frankie makes the pin, but Bison powers out at two to the surprise of everyone (especially Frankie). Thomson decides to throw complete caution to the wind, and climbs the opposite set of turnbuckles to where Lord Bison is now slumped. Frankie jumps, covering the length of the ring and looking for his Down the Docks dropkick…only for Bison to move at the last possible moment, leaving Frankie to land on the canvas in a crumpled heap. Without skipping a beat, Bison rises once more, dragging Frankie up with him and easily flipping the champ up onto his shoulder. Bison spins Frankie off, bringing his knee up into the champ’s jaw with crunching force as he completes the Scold’s Bridle!

Bison drops to make the pin, hooking both legs of the unconscious champion for the three count…



EG: Oh sweet Jesus that monster has taken the title!


BP: YES! YES! YES! YES! FINALLY! A real champion here at TWO Stars! I have to hand it to Winter he made a shrewd move here!

Brice stands and begins to clap Bison's victory, the claps can be heard faintly over Jackson's Mic

Bison relinquishes his pin and gets to his feet and takes the belt in one hand and stares down at it as he stands over Thomson's limp body

JB: Ladies and Gentlemen your new World Heavyweight Champion.... Lord Bison!

EG: That was one dirty trick by Arron Winter but it goes to show that you don't mess with the boss!

JB: Our general manager Arron Winter has in one deft move taken away everything that Frankie has worked for In his time at TWO Stars, he knew that Frankie had failed to beat Bison on two previous occasions so he sent the monster in there to do his dirty work.

EG: Don't forget what he did to Lucian, the guy who clawed his way back to the title picture and Winter just had him taken out like it was nothing!

SH: Ladies and Gentlemen your NEWWWW TWO Stars World Heavyweight Championnnn, Looord Bisoooon!!!


The referee cautiously raises Bison's hand but quickly relents when Bison throws him a stare



Arron Winter makes his way out from the back applauding Bison with a huge grin on his face flanked by the two behemoths, Arcangel and Heilani Kai whom are literally one step behind

EG: And here he is the devil himself out to gloat no doubt!

Bison sets his gaze toward the trio as they make there way to the foot of the ramp, Winter still applauding the new 'hand picked' champion, his two accomplices looking less than enthused by the man now holding the most coveted prize in the game

JB: Well Mr Winter does seem very pleased with the outcome and no doubt himself but I can't imagine that his two friends feel quite so happy about it

Frankie is still motionless beneath Bison who now steps toward the ropes strapping the belt around his waist, Winter gestures for him to feel free to leave even bowing as he steps out but not before Staring at the two henchmen, no who Winter quickly ushers inside the ring

EG: Who the hell is gonna take that belt from Bison?! A scary prospect for anyone!

BP: Nobody that's who Bison's the man and He got his Christmas wish by the looks of things!

Winter collects a mic from a member of the ring crew and kneels over Frankie who has began to stir slightly but a swift boot by Kai puts a rest to his recovery

AW: Frankie Thomson! Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, I moulded you into the champion that you ar... were and I made sure that you were taken care of, I made sure you had the best opportunities and you repayed me by spitting in my face so I first of all beat you in the ring and today I took away the last of the gifts you had been given.


AW: From now on Frankie you play by MY rules and you get to survive BUT if you go against me again, I'll show NO mercy. If you want to get along you have to go along Frankie and the same goes for the rest of you. TWO Stars isn't about YOU it's about success and that's exactly what I have brought to it


AW: Boo all you like but we all know you'll be watching next week and the week after and the week after that!

JB: As cruel a this may seem Mr Winter is right who doesn't want to see the aftermath of all of this?

Winter and his henchman are about to leave but not before Winter bids his farewell

AW: Good Night Frankie and have a VERY Merry Christmas

Winter and his men leave as the XTV symbol shows on screen

JB: Thank you for joining us folks we'll see you again next week and find out what Lucian and Frankie have to say about tonights events!​