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TWOStars Presents: A Decade of Destruction: The Final Chapter NIGHT 1

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The Fury

The Last King of Scotland
Cuts to an aerial view of the Olympic Stadium and much of East London in the background. It’s gone all dark now and the lights are on, almost subconsciously signalling to the audience that the main even is about to come in to play.

Jaxon Blakeslee: We’re right here in London, England for this historic last ever TWOStars show-

Brice Perrino: And what a night it’s been so far, Jaybe!

The camera then cuts to an up-close of Jaxon Blakeslee and Brice Perrino at the announce table.

JB: And as we come to the end of Night One, we have something very, very special lined up.

BP: Mic time for me!? I’ve always wanted to air my vie-

JB: No, not you Brice. Folks, we have a tag team match that we thought would never happen but always wanted to. A match for the ages. Babe Ruth vs Derek Jeter; George Best vs Diego Maradona; Jack Nicklaus vs Tiger Woods… get this, we have The Prime Time Playaz, Lucian L Jones and Kyle “The Stray Cat” Gilmore versus none other than, get this, Sickness and Boyo, The Dark Alliance!

BP: Woah!

JB: I know, right?

BP: No, I mean, woah, do we even have insurance for Boyo these days? Are you sure it’s not The Great Ken with latex on his face?

JB: Oh put a sock in it Brice, you cynic. I am reliably informed by TWOStars management that the legend Boyo-

BP: The wrinkly, old, beat up, time-ravaged legend Boyo…

JB: If you say so… is wrestling tonight, for one last time-

BP: We’ve heard that before :rolleyes2:

JB: Oh stop, Brice, this match doesn’t need you talking smack about it before a lick has been wrestled!

BP: I’m just sayin’.

JB: The Prime Time Playaz take on The Dark Alliance in a Submissions Elimination Match!

The lights cut out and the crowd start making some noise. Suddenly the familiar sounds of:


…kicks in and the crowd erupt in cheers!

JB: It’s primetiiiime, baby!

Salvatore Hier: The following tag team match is a Submissions Elimination Match-

Lucian L Jones and Kyle Gilmore appear on the stage to a HUGE reception from the crowd. The lights come back up again slowly. They both raise their hands to the crowd and soak up the applause.


BP: See not even the crowd can be bothered to type all that out.

Jones goes to the crowd and starts high-fiving the kids (and the ladies), whilst Gilmore is a smudge more reserved and starts making his way, slowly, towards the ring.

Heir: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 497lbs, hailing from Manteca California and Jonestown, respectively… Kyle “The Strrrrray Cat” Gilmore and Lucian L Jones, the PRRRIIIIME… TIIIIIME… PLAYEEEERRRSSSZ!!


JB: What a reception for the longest ever reigning TWOStars Tag Team Champions.

BP: The defacto greatest, most successful tag team in TWOStars history!

JB: Why “defacto”? I don’t get why you would say that.

BP: Then perhaps you should make me the play-by-play man, Jaybe.

JB: You can be that next week. Deal?

BP: Deal. Hey we’re not broa-

JB: But just look at Prime Time here, the younger, fitter tag team, surely.

Jones and Gilmore still haven’t made it to the ring, but they’re almost there. Gilmore seems to have settled in to receiving the adulation from the crowd, as he and Jones pose for a selfie with a young family, who the two kids are little Jones’s and Gilmore’s.

BP: Some akwaaaaaard conversations in that family when the second baby came out, methinks.

JB: Stop being so nosey, Brice. These are our loyal fans you’re badmouthing!

The PTP climb in to the ring, go to opposite turnbuckles and raise their hands to the adoring crowd, who ROAR back at them. They both jump down in to the centre of the ring as their intro music slowly fades out to silence.


Then, the lights cuts out to near darkness,



JB: What a noise! Here we go!

BP: Steptoe and Son!

Heir: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of 451lbs, hailing from Parts Unknown and Cardigan in Wales respectively… Sickness and Boyo, The DAARRK… ALLLLLLIANCE!!

DARK ALLIANCE! *clap! clap! clapclapclap!*

There is a bit of a delay but, before long, Sickness and Boyo appear on the stage to another huge eruption from the crowd. Sickness is wearing his jeans and stained white vest. Boyo is wearing his old green trunks, and white boots.

BP: I gotta say that, now both teams are here and it’s the Olympic Stadium and the stadium’s full and it’s the last ever TWOStars and it’s these two teams… I’m beginning to get excited, Jaybe! It’s like it’s suddenly sinking in.

JB: Fans worldwide, in this great stadium, watching at home, or announcing at ringside-

BP: Like us!

JB: Yes Brice, like us… can’t help but be mesmerised with excitement that the match we thought we’d never see is moments away.

Boyo and Sickness make their way down to the ring. They slap a few hands along the way but in no way are they as interactive with the crowd as the Prime Timers were. Boyo gets to the ring first, walks up the ringsteps, wipes his feet on the apron, and holds up the bottom rope for Sickness to slide under… of which the Mini Monster duly accepts. Boyo then steps through the top and middle ropes and in to the ring. The crowd pop is massive.

BP: God they’re showing their age!

JB: Everyone gets older, Brice, but one thing that hasn’t diminished is the reverie that the Dark Alliance – that the Prime Time Playaz, too – are held in. The sheer noise they generate. The crowd loves these guys!

“Climbing Up The Walls” fades out slowly and the stadium lights come back up to normal levels. All four men stand in the ring. The referee is unsure as to whether to separate the two teams, send them to their own corners, stand in between them, or what. Salvatore Heir climbs out of the ring, and to be fair neither team look like they are going to jump the other one in a devilish act of blatant heelism, so the ref just kinda lets the posturing continue unabashed.







BP: I wish they’d make up their minds, Jaybe!


The bell rings to signify that the match has officially begun and either the PTP nor the DA seem to want to lock horns just yet. A curious friendly stand off occurs. A mixture of whispering tactics, standing their admiring the other team, and playing to the crowd.





BP: Well they can’t all be gassed already!?

JB: Haha, I very much doubt that, Brice. Can’t you just enjoy the experience?

BP: The experience is wrestling, is it not? Not just standing there picking fluff out of their belly-buttons!

JB: Talking about fluff, let’s hear your opinion on something Brice. How do you see this Submissions Elimination match going down? Who are the favourites and why? Who does this match favour?

BP: Woah, twenty-one questions Jaybe! Who do you think you are? 50 Cent?

JB: I think this must favour The Dark Al-

BP: No-one asked you though!

JB: I…


JB: Well I suppose, on a technicality, you’re right there.

BP: I’m always right, Jaybe! And I’m going to be right about this as well. The Prime Time Playaz are going to win this match, no doubt! They’re young, fitter, hungrier, better. They’re just better, Jaybe. In Lucian L Jones and Kyle Gilmore you have two incredible young(ish) athletes who should have more in the tank against the battered Sickness and the beat up, decrepit Boyo.

JB: But this is submission elimination, Brice. Boyo, for all his age, is probably the greatest submissions wrestler that’s ever wrestled in TWOStars. The man’s submission rap-sheet reads like a who’s who. Barry Gower, The Incredible Holt, “The Assassin” Dante Mueller, Johnny Rockefeller-

BP: Until Rocky’s lawyers got involved!

JB: And who could forget that? But my point is that, for all their talents and their hard-hitting, slick style, the Prime Time Playaz do not have anything even resembling the Cloverleaf in their arsenal.

BP: They don’t need the Cloverleaf!

JB: But in a Submission Elimination Match, Brice, don’t you think it would be somewhat advantageous to have a devastating, you know, submission move to call upon? On top of that, you’ve got the famously resilient Sickness.

BP: To win this match The Prime Time Players will have to out submission wrestle Boyo and then inflict a move so damaging that it makes the Sickness tap out. The odds are insurmountable.

JB: Precisely my point.

BP: Insurmountable to all except quite possibly the PTP! 8 years ago the Dark Alliance would probably win a match like this against Jones and KG, but not now. They’re too old. Too injured. Too past it.

During this enlightening conversation between Blakeslee and Perrino, it has been decreed that Mr Sickness will be starting this match against The Stray Cat, Kyle Gilmore.

JB: History in the making!

Sickness and KG lock up, collar and elbow, struggle for domination, before unlocking and taking a step back. The crowd pops. Sickness just looks at Gilmore, trying to look deadly serious but his face betraying a slightly amused look. Gilmore starts doing some jumping jacks and loosens his shoulders.

BP: Ah yes, this will surely tip the match in to the favour of the Prime Time Playaz, Jaybe! Jumping Jacks. Preparedness. Training is gaining!

Sickness and Gilmore go to lock up again but Sickness is a sneaky little so-and-so. He ducks the collar and elbow, goes low, and ends up behind Kyle, holding him in a rear waistlock. Sickness attempts a snap belly-to-back suplex but Gilmore blocks in by locking his leg around one of Sickness’.

JB: Both men sizing each other up, both would know each other’s games so fluently.

Gilmore delivers a bop of a back elbow to Sickness. And another, and then a third. Only the fourth one forces Sickness to release his hold, and even stagger back a half-step. The crowd pops for this.

JB: Nice work by Gilmore just then in these early stages. He’s telegraphed Sickness right there.

Gilmore delivers a chop to Sickness’ chest, followed by a couple of side kicks. The Stray Cat then picks up The Mini Monster effortlessly and scoop slams in towards the PTP corner, making the quick tag to Lucian L Jones straight after. The crowd ROARS and starts a chant:

DUKE OF JONES-TOWN! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
DUKE OF JONES-TOWN! *clap**clap*clapclapclap*

BP: Pah! It’s obvious that he runs unopposed. It’s a sham election!

JB: Huh?

BP: This Duke of Jonestown thing. If I ran for that I’d definitely win. Then I’d be the Duke of Jonestown!

JB: Um, you-

BP: I haven’t forgotten about you, Jaybe.

JB: Oh?

BP: When I was Duke I would find a reasonably arable patch of land, build a cottage on it, running water and everything, and call that patch of land “Swagga”. I would then declare that you sir, would be the Sultan of it.

JB: You’d make ME the Sultan of Swagga?

BP: We’ve been working together all these years, Jaybe. You’re alright. Where is Jonestown anyway? I want to do this. Democracy works!

JB: You don’t get elected Duke, Brice. Nor Sultan. There is a flaw in your plan, but I appreciate your kind, selfless offer regardless.

BP: No problem, man.



JB: So, er… how, erm, arable would my land have been anyhow?

BP: Well you couldn’t have grown an orchard on it, no way.

JB: Oh..?

BP: But root vegetables for sure. Parsnips, Turnips, Carrots, Swede. Potatoes of course.

JB: Would have preferred an orchard.

BP: Hey, you need fertile soil for growing damned root vegetables, Jaybe! If you don’t want it then I’ll go give the land to someone else. Stuie Kool perhaps.

Jones grabs hold of the top rope and propels himself over, landing in a perfect leg drop on the prone Sickness. The crowd pops for this. Jones gets to his feet and delivers a couple of standing stomps to the hips of Mr Sickness, before dragging him to his feet by the ears and delivering a forearm smash to Sickness’ mouth.

BP: Oof!

JB: Rough looking whack there from Jones, who’s looking to kick on from Gilmore’s solid start.

Jones Irish Whips Sickness and when the Dark Alliance nutjob bounces back, Jones delivers a beautiful leg lariat that connects with Sickness’ head and sends the Mini Monster crashing to the mat on his back. The crowd pop, but pop even louder when Sickness bounces straight to his feet with a deranged smile on his face.

BP: What a sight to be confronted with!

JB: Sickness looks like he means business here!

BP: He looks like he’s enjoying this!

JB: The Prime Time Playaz are going to have to fight through these intimidating tactics from Sickness. They cannot allow his appetite for pain to get in their heads and disrupt their mental preparation, because that is what Sickness does to you.

Jones kicks Sickness in the gut before once again Irish Whipping Sickness, but this time back in to the PTP corner, Sickness’ back hits the turnbuckle hard. Jones tags in Gilmore, who climbs into the ring and runs to the opposite rope.

JB: The Playaz finding fluency in their early work.

BP: What have they got planned here?

JB: Well if I knew that I would say it now, but instead I have to wait until after they’ve performed a move before I can tell people what happened.

BP: By which point we all know anyway. Tell me, what is the point of you Jaybe?

Sickness staggers out of the corner and walks straight in to the waiting Jonesy, who picks up the Mini Monster and delivers a twisting, sidewalk slam in the middle of the ring. No sooner has Sickness hit the mat then KG runs over him, leaps to the top rope, and performs a brilliant top rope springboard moonsault. The crowd ERRRRUPPTTT!

LET’S GO PRIME-TIME! *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!*

JB: Moonsault by Gilmore! What a fantastic start by Prime Time! A match for the ages is taking shape in front of our eyes.

Whilst Sickness is still prone, KG delivers a couple of punches to Sickness’ temple.

JB: I hope they aren’t closed fisted punches!

BP: What are they going to do, Jaybe? Ban him from next week’s show?

Sickness wants to get back to his feet, and Gilmore is happy to oblige. He put his arms around Sickness and helps him stand, before looking at him.

JB: That’s respect right there!

As soon as the two lock eyes, Gilmore executes a Forward Russian Leg-Sweep, planting Sickness face-first back on the mat! The crowd pops HUGE for this favourite old move!

JB: STRAY CAT STRUT to Sickness!

BP: Looks like all that respect went straight out the window!

JB: Respect can wait, this is the final ever match for the two greatest tag teams in the history of TWOStars, of e-Fedding, of ALL wrestling arguably.

BP: Certainly the two most influential tag teams we’ve ever seen.

JB: How do you mean?

BP: You’re looking at four men who’s looks, who’s style, who’s mannerisms, and in the Prime Time Playaz at least, who’s very names have translated from the realms of the e-Fed to real life, actual wrestling.

JB: I wouldn’t know what you’re talking about, Brice. Erm. Heh heh. Stop it!

BP: Just saying, this could be Monday Night Nitraw and this could be The Prime Time Players vs Ken Kennedy and Dean Ambrose.

JB: *whispers off-mic* Dammit man!

Sickness tries to get back to his feet once more but he’s only met by a Shining Wizard by KG5000. The crowd pops and Sickness slumps to the canvas again. Gilmore this time gets to his feet and triumphantly raises both his arms to the crowd who ROAR back at him!







JB: Amazing confident start by Gilmore and Jones, but there’s no time for playing to the crowd when you have a man as resilient as the Sickness in there with you.

BP: I agree, Jaybe! If I was Gilmore I’d look to make the Sickness tap out.

JB: Easier said than done, Brice. Sickness isn’t exactly known for his proclivity to tapping out.

BP: He can learn.

JB: Old dogs, new tricks.

BP: Old dogs get taken upstate, Jaybe, and I have a feeling Mr Sickness is going to be in a right state at the end of this match.

Gilmore turns his attention back to Sickness, who has by now got to his feet. Gilmore delivers a stiff kick to Sickness’ upper thigh, before Irish Whipping a slightly hobbly Monster Mack to the ropes. Gilmore bends over.

JB: The Stray Cat with a back body dr-


The crowd pops as Sickness grabs Gilmore and delivers a very quick DDT!


BP: Too much crowd-pleasing, Jaybe!

JB: Gilmore has been caught cold and now Sickness, if he can, is trying to make it to his corner to tag in Boyo.

Sickness gets to his feet, starts to walk towards his corner but kinda stumbles and falls in to his corner, tagging Boyo as he does so. The crowd ERRRRUPT as the Welsh Wonder takes about 10 minutes to get in to the ring and drags Gilmore towards the DA corner. He hands Sickness Gilmore and ascends to the highest point of the squared circle that Boyo has ever, ever, ever ascended to… the second turnbuckle.

JB: Here it comes!

Sickness gets Gilmore in to a Full Nelson and turns him to face Boyo, who delivers an elbow drop to the temple. THE CROWD ROAR!


BP: A classic Dark Alliance move!

JB: And that’s probably the last time we’ll ever see it too.

Not content with JUST doing that, Sickness then pops his hips and executes a lush-looking Full Nelson release suplex. Kyle Gilmore ends up in the middle of the ring, shellshocked.

JB: And that’s how quickly a match can turn when you’re up against a wrestling legend like the Sickness, Brice. One DDT, one suplex, a tag to Boyo, and suddenly that playing to the crowd looks to be very costly.

Sickness climbs out of the ring and Boyo remains with Gilmore, who by now is trying to crawl on his belly back to his partner. Boyo casually stands over Gilmore and simply drops a knee on the lower spine and holds it there.


Boyo gestures with a “steering wheel” action with his arms and smirks. The crowd pops for this.

BP: You know where all roads lead to, Jaybe?

JB: I certainly do, Brice. We all do. All roads lead to the Cloverleaf. I think if Gilmore cannot make the tag in the next few moments he’s in for a long evening.

BP: You mean a very short one.

JB: Yes, that’s what I meant.

BP: Then why did you s-

JB: !!!


JB: Ahem.

BP: Woah man, glare power!

Boyo gets up off of Gilmore, picks him up and pushes him back over to Sickness, who is waiting with the ring rope.

JB: I hope he doesn’t plan on using that ring rope, Brice! Not in full view of the referee! DQ rules still apply!

Boyo saunters over to Jones and, pretty much nose to nose, the Dark Alliance Bombardier smirks in Jones’s face.

BP: Two TWOStars legends right there.

JB: To my recollection we’ve never seen a one on one match between Boyo and Lucian L Jones either? So many great matches we never got to see due to the ravages of time.

Jonesy and Boyo seem to be exchanging “heated pleasantries”, I guess, before Boyo – as quick as a flash! – wops his thumb in the eye of The Duke of Jonestown! The crowd pop this move so blatantly ironic after 10 years of doing it, you might as well cheer it huh?


With the ref distracted, Sickness can be seen choking Gilmore with the ringrope.

JB: Boyo with a classic Poke In The Eye to Jones! And now Jones is in the ring. He wants Boyo! He wants Boyo!

Jones storms in to the ring and lunges at Boyo, who ducks, and the Sultan of Swagga ends up in the clutches of Sickness, who has given up choking KG5000. In the meantime, Boyo gives an almost imperceptible look to Sickness (a look that you, dear reader, can be assured happened ;)) and himself grabs ahold of Gilmore.

BP: The Dark Alliance have something planned here.

At the same time, Sickness has Jones and Boyo has Gilmore. The Dark Alliance member applies a Half Nelson with their left arm, and a rear chin lock their right arm. With both PTP members now locked in and facing the starless sky, Boyo and Sickness drop down, planting Jones and Gilmore’s spines over their knees. THE CROWD ERRRRUPT!! Erupt I say!


BP: Woah!

JB: DOUBLE DARKNESS FALLS! DOUBLE DARKNESS FALLS! We’ve never seen a simultaneous Darkness Falls before. Wow!

Sickness, who has Jones in his grip, pushes the Holiness of Hiphop towards the rope and clotheslines him over to the outside. Jones keeps hold of Sickness though, and both men end up in a heap on the outside of the ring, leaving Boyo and Gilmore, still the two legal men, in the ring.

JB: What a period of action just there! The Dark Alliance now enjoying a period of brutal dominance over the most successful tag team in TWOStars history!

Boyo saunters over to Gilmore, picks him up to his feet before delivering a boot to his gut, making KG buckle over. Boyo quickly shoves Gilmore’s head between his legs and surveys the crowd with a knowing look. The crowd pops!

LET’S GO BO-YO! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
LET’S GO BO-YO! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*

JB: Crowd showing their appreciation here, for the old timer.

Boyo hoists Gilmore up and over his right shoulder and holds him there, so that The Stray Cat is staring at the sky. Boyo then drops to one knee.


BP: I wonder if it’s a toll road?

JB: Is what a toll road?

BP: The road from Barry Island to the Cloverleaf.

Gilmore is still over Boyo’s shoulder. Whilst kneeling, Boyo flips KG over so he’s now belly-down over Boyo’s shoulder, and stands back up. The crowd pop. Boyo then runs forward a few paces and delivers a running powerslam, however he slams The Stray Cat over his knee. Again the crowd pops HUGE!


BP: Kyle Gilmore is in trouble, Jaybe! Boyo is targeting that lower back of his. The knee in the back, the Darkness Falls, the Barry Island Back Breaker and now the Sickness Back Breaker. It’s only a matter of time.

Outside of the ring, both Sickness and Jones have been separated by officials and moved to their own respective corners. Inside the ring, Boyo has once again scooped Kyle Gilmore over his shoulder, run a few paces and delivers a traditional Running Powerslam.

BP: Huge slam right there. Do you think Boyo is-

JB: I think he is!

Boyo scoops up Fivekay for a second time, runs back across the ring once again and delivers another Running Powerslam. The crowd pops for this but some others start chanting in support of Gilmore.







JB: And listen to this crowd, Brice. Both men giving it their all and the crowd are still firmly behind both teams. This is why TWOStars is so great, and why it’s lasted for 10 years. These fans!

Boyo scoops up KG for a third time and looks to the crowd knowingly before running a few paces and delivering a THIRD Running Powerslam. THE CROWD ERRRRUPTTTTTSS!! Boyo raises his hand to the crowd in acknowledgment.


JB: TRIPLE DAVEY! TRIPLE DAVEY! TRIPLE DAVEY! Triple Davey to The Stray Cat and look at him. Just look at Boyo. He’s driven down the spinal road and he’s arrived at his destination!

With Gilmore laying on his back in the middle of the ring, Boyo stands over him and picks up KG’s legs, before ritualistically stomping on his hamstrings (it really does nothing).

BP: Fight it, Catman!

Boyo then crosses Gilmore’s legs before stepping forward and twisting Gilmore on to his front. The crowd POPS HUGE at this, and then Boyo sits back.

JB: CLOVERLEAF! CLOVERLEAF! CLOVERLEAF! Boyo has the Cloverleaf locked in on Gilmore and we could witness the first elimination of this match!!

BP: Surely it’s all over.

Gilmore screams in pain and Boyo, with a somewhat sympathetic look on his face, implores Gilmore to tap out.

Boyo: TAP GILMORE, you stubborn ol’ fool you, TAP!

Boyo yanks hard on the hold. Gilmore yelps in pain.

Kyle Gilmore: NOOOOOOO!!!












JB: This is relentless from Boyo as he pulls harder on that Cloverleaf.

BP: He’s got it locked in perfectly.

JB: And now Jones is getting in to the ring

… Gilmore TAPS OUT to the Cloverleaf to a combination of huge shock and cheering, and some booing, from the crowd.



SH: Ladies and gentlemen, Kyle Gilmore has been eliminated!

JB: AND Gilmore taps out, finally!

BP: And Boyo – effectively - claims another retiree to that Cloverleaf of his.

JB: Mueller, Holt, Gower, Rockefeller and Gilmore.

BP: Pretty decent faction there should TWOStars decide to start broadcasting again!

To be fair to ol’ Boyo, he releases the Cloverleaf straight away, just as Jones rushes in to take advantage of his, erm, his disadvantage. Unfortunately for Jones, Boyo scouts that…

JB: IT’S TWO-ON-ONE! The Dark Alliance vs Lucian L Jones!

…as does Sickness. Boyo back body drops the onrushing Jones and Sickness catches the Sultan of Swagga on his shoulders, before powerbombing him right next to his vanquished tag team partner. The crowd ERUPTS!


The Dark Alliance stand in the middle of the ring, Boyo and Jones the legal men, with the Prime Time Playaz unmoving in the middle of it. The crowd are both cheering and booing this sight. Boyo gives Sickness a little nod, and the Mini Monster climbs out the ring, tags Boyo, and the two men swap roles.

JB: And with Gilmore being dragged out of the ring by the officials, here comes Sickness on Jones, and Jones has got to pull something out of the bag here!

Lucian lays spread-eagled in the centre of the ring, gasping down big gulps of air, as Sickness makes his way into the squared circle, a spring in his step and an evil glint in his eye. Lucian manages to sit up just a little from the mat, but immediately finds himself on the receiving end of a…

JB: Vicious looking stomp there from Sickness, and the Dark Alliance don’t seem to be relenting in their assault of the Prime Time Playas here!

Jones attempts to rise again, only to find himself accepting another boot to the solar plexus by the Sick One.







JB: Just listen to this capacity crowd, Perrino! They don’t know who to cheer for in this match!

BP: Tell me about it bro, we’ve got possibly the two greatest tag teams in TWOStars history going at it here and this crowd are loving every second!

Lucian continues to attempt to shake clear the cobwebs from the devastating Annihilator Powerbomb on the mat, as Sickness stands tall above him, a wild grin on his face.

Sickness: LUCY!!

The Mini Monster nudges the prone Duke of Jonestown with his foot.


Sicko leans forwards, grabbing Jones by the afro and pulling him up a little.

JB: And what does Sickness have in mind for his opponent here?

Sickness fires forwards, driving his head into the face of Jones with a sicknening thud.


BP: Damn bro!! That headbutt was sick!!

Lucian slumps back down to the canvas, as even Sickness has to stagger away for a second, shaking his head and rubbing at the sore spot where his forehead smashed into the King of Bling.

JB: Sickness may have hurt himself a little there, but we all know Sickness isn’t above putting himself through pain to get to his opponent!

Boyo cheers on his partner from the ring apron, as Sickness shakes the faeries away and charges across the ring towards the prone Jones.

JB: Sickness building up a head of steam…

Lucian adjusts his position as Sickness approaches, clutching the left leg of Sickness as he passes, before rolling through, tripping Sickness to his front, and sitting back while keeping hold of the leg.


JB: Lucian Jones locks in a single leg crab on Sickness…

BP: Where the hell did that come from, bro?!

Lucian sits back, cranking back on the left leg of Sickness, as the referee starts to get a veeeeery close look at what’s going on.

JB: Well you can never count Jones out, he saw his opportunity to catch Sickness off guard, and now has the mini monster in a submission predicament!

The King of Bling continues to crank back on the leg, as the referee gets down to Sickness and asks if he wants to continue.




JB: We’ve seen Sickness take unfathomable amounts of punishment before, but how will being out of the ring for a while have affected him?

BP: Jones is twisting that leg in all kinds of ways, he could have Sickness here!!

As Lucian pulls back on the leg of Sickness, he suddenly realises something isn’t quite right. Instead of the usual sounds of agony he expects from his opponent, this time he hears something else entirely.

This time all he can hear is the sound of Sickness laughing hysterically.

BP: Bro! Is he…is Sickness…laughing?

Sure enough, the referee has asked Sickness if he wants to give up, only for the Dark Alliance member to reply by bursting into belly laughs.

JB: Something tells me Ol’ Sicko isn’t likely to quit any time soon.

Immediately Jones releases the leg of Sickness, knowing this hold is getting him nowhere fast, quickly setting off for the ring ropes and rebounding towards his opponent, throwing out his left boot and catching the rising SickStar in the side of the head.

BP: Ooof!! I felt that!!

JB: A vicious boot from Jones himself now, and Sickness doesn’t appear to be laughing anymore!

Sicko drops to the mat, but once again immediately springs back to his feet, much to the delight of the crowd.


Both Jones and Sickness meet in the middle of the ring for a little jaw-jacking, Jones shoving Sickness hard in the chest, causing the Mini Monster to take a step or two back.

BP: It looks like the friendly portion of this match is over and done with Jaybe, things could be getting nasty from here on out!

Sickness returns with a shove of his own, which in turn sends Lucian back a few steps. Sicko grins wildly, his eyes locked on the angered Sultan of Swagga. With a shrug, Jones darts forwards firing off a right hand in Sicko’s direction…

JB: Here we go!!

…only for Sickness to nimbly duck the impending punch. The momentum takes Jones into the ropes, and the Duke of Jonestown rebounds as Sickness jumps to leapfrog his oncoming opponent…

JB: Jones catches Sickness!!

Jones drops to one knee, effectively driving the leapfrogging Sicko down in a…

JB: Reverse Atomic Drop from Jones, and I don’t think Sickness is gonna be laughing about that either!

BP: Taking a hit to the boys is no laughing matter, bro!

Sickness is still standing…barely, as Lucian hits the ropes one more time, unleashing a huge big boot that catches Sickness flush in the jaw.








Lucian stops for just a second to regain a little breath, the Annihilator Powerbomb still having done a number on the King of Bling.

JB: Well Sickness is down, but something tells me Jones needs to capitalise on this opportunity.

BP: Jones has already taken one hell of a beating at the hands of the Dark Alliance, surely he’s not getting out of this two on one situation?

JB: We’ve seen Jones persevere through many difficult situations, but perhaps never against opponents as revered as these. As much as Jones may want to deny it, he could just be holding off the inevitable against the Dark Alliance here?

Sickness starts to rise from the canvas, his hand cupping his jaw sensitively, but the crazy grin rapidly making it’s way back onto his face. Lucian notices this, standing up straight from where he was leaning on the ring ropes, steeling his resolve and pacing towards his opponent.

JB: Sickness is back to a vertical base, and I think Jones is wondering what he’ll have to do to get through this.

BP: Well all know what he has to do, bro. He has to make both members of the Dark Alliance submit. Good luck with that.

Sickness moves forwards, hitting Jones in the gut with a boot and doubling him over. The Sick One takes this opportunity to whip his opponent into the Dark Alliance corner, Jones’ back smacking hard into the turnbuckles.

JB: Sickness tags in Boyo, and this could be where we start to see the numbers game taking effect.

Almost as if on cue, both members of the DA tee off on Jones with hard chops, before double Irish whipping Jones into the opposite corner. Before Lucian can recover, Boyo has whipped Sickness across the ring, Sicko crashing into Jones with a hard clothesline…


Sickness gives Jones no respite, whipping the Duke of Jonestown out of the corner and back towards Boyo. As Jones crosses the ring, Boyo spins through 360 degrees and cracks Jones in the jaw with a wicked…


BP: Damn bro, that’s cleaned Jones’ clock!!

The Dark Alliance don’t miss a beat, dragging Jones up to his feet, and powering him back into the corner. Boyo and Sickness lift the Duke of Jonestown, sitting him on the top turnbuckle.

JB: I’m not sure what the DA have in mind here, but it can only mean bad things for their opponent!

The Sultan of Swagga sways in his seat on the top turnbuckle, as Sickness himself climbs to the top, leaving Boyo standing behind him. Sicko starts to tee off with right hands as the crowd count along…




JB: Sickness is really taking it Jones here…



JB: …and Jones has no reply!





Sickness relents on his punches, choosing instead to thrust his pelvis into the face of Jones to the delight of the crowd.



BP: What in the blue hell?!

JB: Sickness calls that the Time Warp, but…

Lucian growls, as he throws out his left boot and catches Boyo on the chin. The former Hot Critter staggers backwards, as Sickness totters precariously on the top rope.




Lucian shoves the Sick One who tumbles backwards awkwardly from the top rope. Sicko lands on his feet, but instantly lets out a yelp of sorts and drops to the canvas holding his knee.

JB: I’m not sure what happened there, but I think Sickness may have tweaked his knee during that fall?

We cut to a replay that shows Sickness drop backwards from the top rope, and his knee does seem to twist awkwardly as he lands.

JB: It does indeed look like Sickness may have tweaked his knee, and that could change the entire landscape of this match!

Back to live action, and Sickness has rolled out under the bottom rope and drops to the arena floor bending his knee. Back in the ring, Lucian is gulping down huge breathes of air from his perch on the top turnbuckle, only to find Boyo bearing down on him at speed. Jones lifts his boot and again catches Boyo on the jaw, sending the Welsh Wonder staggering back a few steps. Almost instinctively, Boyo charges in again, this time to find Lucian slipping down from the turnbuckles and coming to meet him. Jones quickly scoops Boyo up onto his shoulder, before turning 180 degrees, throwing Boyo up into the air, and leaving him to crash face first onto the top turnbuckle Jones was just sat upon.

JB: Snake Eyes from Jones, and can he follow this up…

Lucian hits the ropes, rebounding towards Boyo as he staggers stunned from the corner. Mr. Boyo turns to find the left boot of Jones once more being driven towards him. All Boyo can do is hope it won’t hurt too badly as the boot connects…


JB: Yes he can!!

BP: SO LONG SUCKAAAAAAA!! Sorry, I just love saying that name.

Boyo drops to the canvas, as does Lucian, both men breathing heavily. Boyo grips at his shoulder, sucking in wind through his teeth, something obviously giving him some problem.

JB: Wait one second, Boyo seems to be favouring that shoulder?

We cut to a replay of Jones’ big boot, showing that instead of kicking Boyo in the jaw as he usually would, Lucian instead aimed his left boot at the shoulder of Boyo instead.

JB: It looks like Jones has intentionally targeted that left shoulder of Boyo!

BP: Well we know that Boyo has injured that shoulder before, same as we all know Sickness has had his issues with his knee. If Jones has intentionally pinpointed these old injuries, then he’s playing this like a pro, bro!

Meanwhile on the outside, Sickness is running some kind of damage assessment on his knee. The Sick One slowly pulls himself to his feet and limps a few steps before once again stopping and stretching his knee, trying to get some feeling back.

JB: Well both legal men in this match are down, folks. And although Jones’ partner Gilmore has been eliminated, it looks like Sickness is currently unavailable for Boyo to tag out either!

Both Jones and Boyo look drained in the centre of the ring, both men feeling the effects of this match. The crowd just won’t let this lie though, and insist on doing there best to raise all 3 men from their various accumulated injuries.







Boyo starts to stir, causing the cheering of the crowd to intensify…


…as Lucian also starts to rise from the canvas.

BP: This is a war, bro!! You’ve got to love it!! How are these guys continuing?

Both Boyo and Jones wearily pull themselves to their feet, Jones watching like a hawk as Boyo rubs his sore shoulder, rotating his joint slightly as he paces.

JB: Both teams are certainly leaving it all out in the ring tonight, but you can see the toll it’s taking.

BP: So it is a toll road!

JB: Good grief.

Jones and Boyo share a brief moment of acknowledgement, before tying up in a collar and elbow tie up. Jones neatly steps through, twisting the arm of Boyo and barring it, bringing a wince to the face of the BoySicks proprietor.

JB: It looks like Jones is definitely pinpointing that shoulder of Boyo!

As if to compound Jaybe’s commentary, Jones rears back an elbow and drives it straight into the joint of Boyo’s shoulder, bringing another wince to his face. Lucian again bars the arm, leaning back hard to grind the shoulder against it’s socket.

BP: More than that, Jones has finally figured out that he’s going to need to isolate and wear down each member of the Dark Alliance if he’s gonna stand any chance in this match.

Boyo grits his teeth, as Lucian switches back to an arm-wringer. With little other way out, Boyo takes the easy option and once more jabs his thumb into the eye of Jones.


Boyo allows himself a little smirk at the crowd’s reaction, before shaking his arm, trying to loosen up some of the damage done by Jones.

JB: Well that certainly wasn’t the prettiest escape, but it was most definitely effective!

BP: And listen to the crowd lap it up!!


Jones rubs at his eyes, as he staggers away, clearing them just in time to see Boyo running in towards him.

JB: Jones catches Boyo coming in with a drop toe hold!

Sure enough Lucian trips Boyo, driving the Dark Alliance member face first to the canvas. Lucian quickly scrambles to his feet, before dropping a hard elbow across the spine of Boyo.


Jones stands quickly, before dropping a second…and yep, even a third elbow to the spine of the Hall of Famer.

BP: Boyo needs to get himself up from here, he’s at Jones’ mercy at the moment.

Lucian stands over the fallen Boyo, scooping him up and hooking Boyo’s arms over his own knees, Jones sits back, hooking his hands around the neck of Boyo and pulling back with all he’s worth.

JB: Sheikhy Special!! Jones locks in his patented version of the Iron Sheik’s Camel Clutch on Boyo!!

BP: And he’s got it hooked in deep, bro! Boyo could be in big trouble here!!

Lucian cranks back on the hold, as the referee gets down to ask if Boyo wants to continue.




Boyo shakes his head furiously, refusing to quit to the hold, as Lucian continues to wrench back on the neck of the Welsh Wonder.

LLJ: Jus’ give it up old man!! TAP DAMNIT!!

Boyo looks out towards the ropes, and realises this kid’s got him bang to rights in the centre of the ring, each set of strands too far out of reach for him to get to.




The Welsh Wonder shakes his head again, refusing to quit to the excruciating hold.

JB: Boyo refuses to give in, but how much more of this can he endure?

BP: I dunno bro, I’d have quit a good long time ago!

The King of Bling in turn refuses to relinquish the Sheikhy Special, as Boyo looks like he’s starting to fade.

JB: The referee’s taking a good long look at thi…what the hell!!

What Lucian hasn’t seen is Sickness manage to drag himself back into the ring and charge at the blindside of the Sultan of Swagga. As Sickness passes he grabs Jones by the hair and plants him face first into the mat with a picture perfect…

JB: Bulldog out of nowhere from Sickness, and you have to believe he’s just saved Boyo from elimination in this match!


Sicko frantically pulls his partner to his feet, Boyo wincing and holding a hand to his back as he attempts to stand. Lucian pulls himself up to all fours, punching the mat in frustration. He looks up to see both Dark Alliance members standing in the ring, and starts up to his feet only to be pounced upon by both Sickness and Boyo.

JB: The Dark alliance are going to town on Lucian Jones right now, and it appears to be only a matter of time before they can put this match to bed.

Boyo drags the Sultan of Swagga to his feet, before hoisting him up onto his shoulder. Boyo charges across the ring and plants Jones into the mat with another textbook Running Powerslam. Although he’s breathing a little heavy, Boyo refuses to rest and drags Jones up again, before once again scooping him up onto his shoulder and setting off across the ring…

JB: A second Running Powerslam from Boyo there, and could he be looking for a second Triple Davey tonight?

The Welsh Wonder drags the woozy Lucian up and heaves him onto his shoulder one more time. This time Sickness stops Boyo for just a second, before dropping to a knee and gesturing wildly to it.

BP: Bro, is Sickness telling Boyo to powerslam Jones onto his knee?

JB: It looks like Sickness is calling for a reversal of sorts for the Sickness Backbreaker?! The Boyo Backbreaker, I guess? Good grief, that could be the end of Jones!

Boyo nods to his partner, before taking a couple of steps back and setting off running…

JB: But Lucian refuses to go down without a fight!

Lucian kicks and squirms, somehow managing to slide down the back of Boyo, snatching the Dark Alliance member into a reverse facelock.


JB: Could we see a KTFO here?

But Sickness is already more than aware of the danger and charges in towards Jones…only to receive a hard boot to the gut for his troubles. Lucian uses his free arm to cinch Sickness in a front facelock, while retaining his reverse facelock on Boyo.

BP: Uh-oh, the DA’s in trouble!

His Highness of Flyness drops to his back, hitting Sickness with a DDT, while planting Boyo with the reverse variant.


THAT WAS AWE-SOME!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
THAT WAS AWE-SOME!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
THAT WAS AWE-SOME!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
THAT WAS AWE-SOME!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*

JB: Lucian Jones just dropped both members of the Dark Alliance, and have you ever seen anything like that?

BP: I’ll be honest, bro, that was pretty damned cool.

All 3 men lie in a heap on the canvas, as the crowd continue to roar their appreciation.







BP: I’m not even competing in this match, and I’m exhausted!

JB: I dread to think of how it feels to be one of the men in the ring!

From the writhing pile of humanity in the ring, Lucian slowly starts to drag himself to his feet. He’s stumbling and staggering, but with the aid of the ring ropes he eventually gets there. The referee starts to shoo Sickness to the Dark Alliance corner, as Boyo also starts to rise to his feet slowly.





Mr. Boyo gets back to his vertical base, rotating his neck and obviously feeling a pang of pain in his back, neck, and shoulder. With a snort of frustration, Boyo attempts to shrug off his exertions, only to find Lucian charging in towards him.

JB: Boyo needs to keep his wits about him here…

The Duke of Jonestown throws a clothesline in Boyo’s direction, only to find the Ol’ Jackass ducking beneath it and gripping the outstretched arm of Jones, attempting to whip him to the ropes…

JB: Boyo looking for the Irish Whip…

…but Boyo finds Jones twisting neatly, reversing the momentum and dragging Boyo in towards him instead. Lucian extends an arm, crashing it across the chest of Boyo and sending the Welsh Wonder crashing to the mat.


JB: Jones reverses a reversal and takes Boyo down with a short arm clothesline!

Lucian keeps hold of the arm of Boyo, quickly stepping over it and tying it into a hammerlock with his leg, dragging Boyo onto his front. Lucian reaches over and hooks up Boyo’s legs in a Cloverleaf fashion, before pulling back with everything he’s got.

JB: Jonestown Massacre!! Lucian locks in the Jonestown Massacre on Boyo!!

BP: He got that on quick, bro! I think Boyo’s gonna have to tap to this one!

Lucian screams as he pulls back on the hold, while Boyo’s one free hand pulls at his hair before scrabbling around in desperation looking for the nearest rope.

JB: Boyo’s looking for a rope break, but Jones has his positioning down. He’s got Boyo caught in yet another submission hold, once again in the centre of the ring!

Boyo bites down on his fist, as Jones continues to pull back on the legs of the BoySicks co-owner. It’s almost as if Boyo is considering tapping to this painful hold until the crowd strikes up once again…




Jones sits back further in the hold, and audible yell escaping the lips of Boyo as the hold sinks in deeper.




JB: Is Boyo going to…

Jones loses himself for a second, and once again fails to notice Sickness approach from behind and strike him squarely in the back with a clubbing forearm.


Lucian slumps forwards to the canvas, releasing the hold on Boyo and giving Sickness the opportunity to land a couple of quick stomps.

JB: It seems like the audience just don’t want this match to end, they could quite happily sit and watch these men wrestle all night!

BP: Well we wanted to find out who the greatest team is in TWOStars, and both teams are going to war to prove they are the best ever in that very ring!

The referee has immediately got all up in Sickness’ face, chastising the Mini-Monster for his continued interference. Sicko merely shrugs with a smirk as he steps back out onto the apron.

JB: That’s twice now that Sickness has come to the aid of Boyo during this match, Jones has to be asking himself exactly what he has to do to put either of these men down!

Boyo has managed to pull himself over to a neutral corner, and starts to drag himself to his feet gingerly, as Lucian woozily drags himself up to all fours, shaking his head in some attempt to clear the fuzziness.

THIS IS AWESOME!! *clap**clap*clapclapclap*
THIS IS AWESOME!! *clap**clap*clapclapclap*
THIS IS AWESOME!! *clap**clap*clapclapclap*

JB: I’ve gotta agree with this crowd!

Boyo looks over at the slowly rising Jones, before looking over at Sickness, the Dark Alliance exchanging a knowing glance. Boyo strides out of the corner, tagging the outstretched hand of Sickness.


Sickness climbs into the ring, and both members of the Dark Alliance now rear up on the woozy Duke of Jonestown who backs away to the opposite corner.

BP: Uh-oh, bro. It looks like the Dark Alliance have had just about enough!

Sickness and Boyo easily overpower Jones, dragging him out of the corner and backing him against the nearest set of ropes. The team whip Jones at the opposite strands, which sends the Duke of Jonestown rebounding back towards them. Boyo and Sickness hook an arm of Jones each, hiptossing Lucian high into the air and crashing back first down to the mat.


JB: Double hiptoss from the Dark Alliance, and look at the height they got right there!!

Jones instantly sits up, wincing from the shot of pain shooting up and down his spine. This isn’t the best idea though, as he swiftly finds the boots of both Mr. Boyo and Mr. Sickness thumping into his spine.


JB: Followed up by a pair of stiff kicks! You could hear those all around the arena!!

Lucian’s back arches in pain, as he kinda scuttles across the ring looking for a tag that isn’t gonna be there.

BP: I told you, the Dark Alliance means business right now!

The referee’s insistent pleas for Boyo to leave the ring are falling on deaf ears, as the DA once again advance on the rising Jones. Sickness roughly drags Lucian to his feet, as the referee is screaming at Boyo to get out of the ring.

JB: And finally the official is attempting to get some control over this situation.

Tutting loudly, Boyo and Sickness head over to their own corner, Sickness still dragging Jones by the hair. Boyo steps out between the ropes, holding out his hand for Sickness to tag, before once more stepping between the ropes and giving the referee a look that screams “are you happy now, d*ckhead?”


Boyo and Sickness force Jones back into the corner with a few choice right-handed shots, before motioning to whip Jones across the ring…

JB: The Dark Alliance looking to capitalise with strength in numbers here, and unfortunately there’s nobody to come to Lucian Jones’ rescue!

…only for Sickness and Boyo to drag Jones back, firing him back first into the turnbuckles with sickening force.


Lucian sinks to his knees, his face contorted in agony.

JB: Good grief!

BP: Bro, I seriously think the ring just moved from that!

Again the crowd find their voice, cheering on…well, everyone involved really.





Sickness and Boyo take just a second to enjoy this, as Lucian remains on his knees sucking in wind.

JB: Well with the damage being done here, it could only be a matter of time before the Dark Alliance have this match in the bag.

With a wild look in his eye, Sickness reaches down to drag Lucian back to his feet…





…only to find himself on the receiving end of a thumb to the eye from Jones!


JB: Looks like Jones has decided turnabout is fair play here!

BP: Well it’s nothing the Dark Alliance wouldn’t do themselves, bro. Jones has to do what he needs to do to survive here!

Sickness staggers away, temporarily blinded, as Lucian fires up to his feet and nails Boyo in the face with a left-handed jab, which elicits a familiar response from the crowd…


Jones fires off a second jab…


As well as a third, while Sickness still flails around trying to clear his vision…


More jabs crash home as Lucian drives Boyo back across the ring…




JB: Jones looking for the Bitchslap here, which could well buy him some valuable breathing space.

Lucian plants his feet and winds up his right hand, as he and the capacity crowd yell…


Sickness manages to figure out where his target is, but this time he doesn’t go unnoticed by Jones. Lucian wheels around, unleashing his right hand and cracking Sickness in the face as the crowd roar…



Sickness drops to the canvas, his hands instinctively clasping to his nose, as the crowd goes wild. Jones doubles over for a second, his hands on his knees, and the exertions of this match becoming all too apparent. Lucian straightens up to find Boyo careening towards him, the Welsh Wonder having wound up another patented Tornado Punch.


Lucian manages to duck the thundering fist of Boyo, quickly spinning to take advantage of the off balance Hall of Famer. Jones darts in behind Boyo, gripping the Ol’ Jackass’ left arm and dragging it across Boyo’s own throat, before sliding in his own left arm and clasping the hold tightly.

JB: BOOYAH CONSTRICTOR!! Jones locks in his Cobra Clutch variant and this could be bad news for Boyo!!

Lucian squeezes the hold in tight, gritting his teeth and putting all his effort into maintaining the hold. Boyo starts to struggle, desperately alternating between reaching for the nearest set of ropes, and pulling at the arm of Jones in an attempt to release the hold.

BP: Jones has this on good, and Boyo may well need his tag partner to come to the rescue again!

Sure enough, Sickness is rising from the mat. The Sick One rocks up to a knee, shaking off the bitchslap he just received, which gives Lucian all the opportunity he needs. Keeping the Booyah Constrictor held on Boyo, Jones steps off the knee of Sickness and drives the sole of his left boot into the Sickstar’s face.


Sickness crumbles to the mat, as Jones also crashes down too, maintaining the hold and dragging Boyo down with him. The ending result is Boyo crashing to the mat and landing in what looks more like an Anaconda Vice.

JB: My days!! Lucian L. Jones just managed to hold a Booyah Constrictor on Boyo while simultaneously hitting the Ghetto Blaster on Sickness!! That’s one way to ensure that Sickness can’t save his partner!!

Boyo is fading fast in the hold, his outstretched arm slowly wilting as Jones continues to crank in the hold. Once again the audience attempt to spur the competitors on…




Boyo’s arm shoots up into the air, his fist pumping, which draws out HUGE cheers from the crowd…


JB: Boyo’s not planning on giving up to this hold, and look at the legend fight!!

BP: How? How is he still fighting this?!

Boyo attempts to struggle against the hold, reaching back and using his free hand to rake at the face of Jones. Instead of causing Lucian to release the hold, this only serves to infuriate him, causing the King of Bling to reposition and lock the hold in even tighter still.

JB: Jones has repositioned himself outside of Boyo’s reach with that free hand, and Sickness is still out from that Ghetto Blaster, can Boyo escape the clutches of Jones this time?

BP: It’s looking bleak bro, I think Boyo might be all outta fight right now.

Sure enough, the fighting free hand of Boyo has become somewhat more lethargic, and once more starts to wilt towards the mat. Lucian continues to crank on the hold, showing no signs of easing up, as the referee gets in close to check on the Welsh Wonder.

JB: I think Boyo might be out cold?

The referee lifts Boyo’s arm, and it flops lifelessly to the mat.



The referee lifts Boyo’s arm for a second time, the limb lifelessly flopping to the mat once again.

JB: Well the referee has to have a serious think about calling this. Boyo looks like he’s not responding.

The referee lifts Boyo’s arm for the final time, but both he and Lucian are amazed to find it stay there this time.


Boyo starts to quake in the grip of Jones, causing an instant look of worry to spread across the face of the Duke of Jonestown.

JB: Boyo just will not say die in this match!! This is unbelievable!!

BP: Damn bro, I thought the PTP were gonna take to these old guys, but I’m ridiculously impressed with both these teams!

Jones recomposes himself, maintaining his hold on Boyo. He allows the Welsh Wonder attempt to get to his knees, before stepping over Boyo with hold kept on, sitting back on the spine of the Boysicks co-owner and turning the Booyah Constrictor into some strange hybrid of a Camel/Cobra Clutch.


JB: I’ve never seen this from Jones before, but look at how he’s got Boyo contorted in that excruciating hold.

Lucian sits back deep, bending the spine of Boyo, as well as maintaining the painful hold on Boyo’s neck and shoulder.





BP: Dude, Sickness is still out of it. I don’t see how there’s any escaping here for Boyo?

Again Boyo’s free arm goes limp, the referee once more checking the limb for signs of life.

The arm drops once…



Lucian continues to cinch in the hold, pulling back with absolutely everything he has, as Sickness slowly starts to rouse on the canvas next to him. The referee lifts Boyo’s arm for a second time, and for the second time the limb droops heavily.

JB: Can Boyo hold on?

Sickness slowly starts to pull himself up to his knees, but is having some real trouble getting his centre of gravity to push up to his feet.



The referee holds Boyo’s arm aloft one more time, before releasing his wrist. Jones looks on desperately, but this time there’s no sign of life from Boyo. The arm drops lifelessly for a third time, and the referee immediately gestures for the bell…


SH: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boyo has been eliminated!


A noise goes up from the crowd. Not exactly a cheer, not exactly a boo, more a “Awww, I was enjoying that!” Lucian releases the hold and drops to his butt on the mat, looking on at the unconscious Boyo in amazement.

JB: Lucian L. Jones has eliminated Boyo from this match, and we’re down to just Jones and Sickness here…wait, what is Jones doing?

Lucian has crawled over to where Boyo is lying, lightly slapping the Welsh Wonder in the face to try and rousle him round. The Ol’ Jackass slowly starts to come round, sitting up with a little assistance from Jones…

THANK YOU BO-YO!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
THANK YOU BO-YO!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*

JB: Well that’s one hell of a show of respect there, and look at how much this capacity crowd love this man who did so much for this company over the years.

THANK YOU BO-YO!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
THANK YOU BO-YO!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*

Lucian helps Boyo back up to his feet, the Hall of Famer receiving a rapturous ovation from the sold out crowd. Sickness has also finally pulled himself back up to his feet, and is looking on curiously at the unfolding events. Jones extends a hand in Boyo’s direction, which the Welsh Wonder shows no hesitation in reaching out and shaking.


JB: A true gesture of sportsmanship there between these two men, they tore hell out of each other, but it was all in the spirit of competition.

Boyo makes his way over to the ropes gingerly, rolling out under the bottom and heading back towards the entrance ramp, but not before offering up some advice to his tag partner.

B: You need to watch out for this one Sicko, he’s got a few tricks up his sleeve!

Sickness grins at the advice of his friend and fellow sidecar enthusiast.

S: Don’t worry, I know Lucy like the back of my hand…

Sickness looks down at the back of his hand.

S: …huh? Where did that come from?

Lucian can’t help but smile as the capacity crowd continue to show their appreciation for perhaps the snappiest dresser in TWOStars history. Sickness chooses to simply watch and wave as Boyo heads up the ramp to the continued chants of the crowd…

THANK YOU BO-YO!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
THANK YOU BO-YO!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*

Back in the ring, Lucian and Sickness turn to face each other, as the anticipation in the crowd kicks up a notch.









JB: Well this is what it all boils down to folks, Lucian Jones representing the PTP and Sickness representing the Dark Alliance, with bragging rights to TWOStars Greatest Tag Team on the line…

The two men stare at each other across the ring, their eyes locked while they catch their breath. Each man wary of the other making a move, tense and ready to react while the crowd applaud the action up to now.

JB: By God, I don’t think anybody can deny the rights of these men to claim to being two of the very best ever seen in a squared circle.

BP: This match is more than worthy of being the main event of tonight’s show, and I believe that the fans deserve to see these two morons beating each other to hell.

JB: What?!

BP: For years we’ve seen these guys being goody goody, and now no matter who wins they both get hurt. This is, as the kids say, a win.

In the ring Lucian and Sickness start to circle each other slowly. Jones makes the first move, darting in for a single leg takedown, but the Sick Star sees it coming and steps forwards while bringing his knee up. The crowd groan in unison as Lucian L Jones collapses to the mat, stars in his eyes. Sickness quickly takes advantage of the dazed King of Bling, rolling him onto his back and locking a cross arm breaker on to the unresisting Jones. Lucian yells out in pain and reaches for the ropes that are tantalisingly close, but heartbreakingly far away.

JB: Sickness taking a leaf out of Jason Bells playbook here Brice.

BP: If you gotta steal, steal from the best.

JB: Jason Bell is good, but these men are better! And that’s not putting down Bell.

With a force of will Jones slowly drags himself, and the doggedly holding on Sickness, towards the ropes. Jones reaches out, his fingers less than an inch away from the ropes until with a final bust Lucian swings his body towards the ropes… and Sickness quickly lets go, the momentum of Lucians desperate lunge carries the Sultan of Swagga out of the ring!

BP: I do like it when Jones makes himself look a bit of a moron. Though that’s most days to be fair.

On the outside Jones gets up and looks annoyed at the Sick One, though the Dark Alliance member just shrugs. Lucian slides back into the ring and gets back to his feet. The two men lock together in a standard collar and elbow tie up, Jones quickly showing his speed – well it would be a bad thing to show slowly – and transitions into a wrist lock, then into a hammerlock before the Mini Monster even has time to react to the pain.

JB: Jones into a headlock. Judo style hiptoss. Leg scissors to the head of Sickness. Jones is moving too fast here Paul, trying to keep Sickness unbalanced and unable to see a pattern, but chaos isn’t Lucians land; Sickness is the king here!

The Prince of Perfection tries to roll so Sickness will be face down, but Sickness telegraphs it and continues the roll, the two men quickly becoming tangled. Jones reacts quickly and

JB: Small package! How the hell?!

The crowd count…




…as Lucian keeps the move held on the struggling Sickness. As they reach three he releases it and springs into the air with a grin on his face, a grin that disappears as he realises his mistake.

BP: Idiot. This is submissions only!

The Legend of TWOStars slaps the turnbuckle in annoyance.

JB: That was instinct, years of wrestling have fine tuned Jones’s instincts. He probably wasn’t aware of the pinfall until the three.

BP: Sickness probably wasn’t aware of anything. Ever.

Sickness is quickly to his feet as Jones spins around to face him. The Mini Monster grins and shakes his head mockingly at Lucian. The King of Bling takes half a step forward in anger, then his face clears and he starts to grin, then he shrugs. Hey anyone can make a mistake in the heat of the moment.


JB: Lock up in the centre of the ring, Lucian with a side wristlock, reversed by Sickness, reversed again by Jones to the right wrist that’s unusu… OHHH!

The Sultan of Swagga kicks Sickness is the side of the knee and the SickStar crumples to the mat grasping his already hurt joint.

BP: Jones playing smart, probably making up for that pinfall attempt!

Breathing heavily now Jones drops an elbow onto the injured knee of Sicky, then a swift second and an almost as quick third. Lucian cups his mouth and lets out a loud WHOOOOO to the crowd to a pretty damned impressive pop.

JB: Is it? Can it be?

BP: FIGURE FOUR!! FIGURE FOUR! Jones with a figure four on Sickness.

The Mini Monster lets out a cry of pain as his knee is further twisted and damaged by the hold, Jones has obviously been studying well for this one! How many Ric Flair tapes has he ‘bought’ from the tap traders? Sickness reaches out for the ropes and just… juuust manages to get his middle finger onto the bottom rope.

JB: Rope break, Sickness has been very lucky here Brice.

BP: Sickness is lucky he can cross the street unaided.

Mr Legendary releases the hold at the count of two and gets to his feet, Sickness however stays down.

LLJ: Come on ref, y’all can’t let him continue! The dude can’t even stand up!

The official checks with the prone Sicky, but is pushed away as the Dark Alliance stalwart begins to drag himself towards the corner using the bottom rope. The Duke of Jonestown looks down guiltily at Sickness and hesitates for a second before dragging his squirming opponent into the centre of the ring.

BP: Now this is looking more like it!

JB: What’s Jones got planned? Whatever it is he doesn’t look happy about having to do it.

Jones plants his left foot on the right ankle of Sickness and mouths ‘I’m sorry’ before bringing his right foot down hard on the damaged knee of the Mini Monster. A second sickening impact follows.

LLJ: STAY DOWN MAN! Jus’ stay the hell down.

Lucian brings his foot down a third time, but this time his target is the chest of Sickness.

LLJ: One. Two. Three. See man, you’re done!

JB: Well that pinfall wasn’t an accident! Jones is determined to get Sickness to tap out before he gets too badly hurt.

BP: Sickness is too stupid to stay down, Jones should know that much after all these years.

LET’S GO SICK-NESS!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
LET’S GO SICK-NESS!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
LET’S GO SICK-NESS!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*

The Prince of Perfection drags Sickness up to a vertical base, though Sicky is barely able to stand! The Only TWOStars Ultimate Champion swings at Jones, but Lucian easily dodges the blow. The Prime Time Playa takes a couple of steps backwards and indicates to Sickness to ‘come and get it’. The Mini Monster takes a short hop like step towards Jones his face a rictus of pain.

BP: OK, now even I think Sickness should just give up and get help, he’s clearly not in any fit state to continue this match. Surely the referee could just stop it, he has the right!

JB: It’s the main event of the first night of TWOStars last ever event, the official wants a definitive end to the match. The question needs to be answered, who’s best, The Prime Time Playas or The Dark Alliance?







The crowd seem split themselves as to the answer, duelling chants for both Jones and Sickness are ringing around the building. Lucian quickly steps in towards Sickness and throws a massive right hand at the SickStar, but the Dark Alliance monster spins away on his injured leg and swiftly gets behind Jones. Sickness locks in a full nelson, pops his hips, and executes a pretty damned sloppy full nelson suplex.


JB: What a counter from Sickness! Both men are down!

BP: But only one of them has enough working limbs to get back up. All he’s done is get breathing space so when Jones finishes this Sickness has enough breath to say the words ‘I quit’. And I promise you here and now that Sickness will quit. Jones is walking out of here as the winner.

In the ring the official checks if Jones is able to continue, the Duke gives his royal assent. The referee next goes over to Sickness and looks very, very worried, but nods that the match is to go on.

JB: I’m not sure that was the right call. Jones is up and climbing the corner post.

BP: Shades of the late, great Macho Man Randy Savage here Jaybee.

Lucian points up to the heavens at the departed before leaping off the turnbuckle and crashing his elbow down onto the knee of Sickness.

BP: Its like a computer game boss fight, Sickness’s knee must be glowing up in Jones’s mind.

JB: He has a plan of attack and is going with it. Heck, its working!

The Crown Prince of Cool flips over Sickness and again applies the single legged Boston Crab, causing another cry of pain from Sickness. As Lucian pulls back he makes a mistake and raises himself up from the mat slightly – but slightly is all Sickness needs! The Mini Monster tucks himself and pushes his body underneath itself and through the legs of a rather surprised Lucian L Jones. A quick right hand from Sickness stuns Jones before a left foot to the face sends him crashing to the ground. Sickness rolls his body to the PTP member and headbutts him square in the temple.

JB: That’s a concussion if ever I saw one! The mat under Lucians head doesn’t have enough give to take that.

BP: I swear I just saw his eyes cross.

The Sultan of being Stunned by Sickness tries to roll away, but the Mini Monster smells blood and locks in a rear naked choke – not quite a Sicknote, but enough to get a cheer from the crowd.


Lucian lands an elbow into the midriff of Sickness, then a second which forces Sicky to release the hold. Still on the ground Lucian spins around but is immediately caught in a front face lock.

JB: Could this be it? Jones trying to fight his way out, large left hands to the knee of Sickness.

BP: And its worked Jaybee! Sickness has released his grip.

Jones quickly gets to his feet, a slightly flustered look on his face, he won’t make the mistake of under-estimating Sickness again – especially when he’s injured! Jones shakes his head and watches as Sickness slowly drags himself up in the corner, the process taking almost ten long seconds.

LET’S GO SICK-NESS, LET’S GO!! *clapclap*
LET’S GO SICK-NESS, LET’S GO!! *clapclap*
LET’S GO SICK-NESS, LET’S GO!! *clapclap*

Lucian walks towards Sicky and starts to talk to him, we can’t see what’s being said but whatever it is seems to anger Sickness and the Mini Monster throws a kick at Jones, but the lack of strength in Sicky’s right knee means the impact is barely felt by his opponent.

JB: That may have been the weakest kick in pro wrestling history. Sickness has nothing in his playbook now – weak right kicks, he cant use his left as his knee wont hold him up. A punch will overbalance him. Sickness is hurt and out of options.

BP: And that scares me, and it should scare Jones too! This is when Sickness is at his most dangerous.

Almost as if he heard Brice Sickness suddenly launches himself off his good leg into the body of Jones and wraps his arms around the waist of the Baron of Bi-Curious (what? It’s the last time he gets to admit it). Lucy doesn’t go down, keeping his footing Jones brings his elbow down onto the back of the Sick One. In response Sickness straightens up swiftly, his head smashing into the jaw of Lucian and sending the Duke of Jonestown spinning around ending with his back to Sickness, which obviously means…


With his good leg Sickness pushes and spins, taking both men to the floor away from the ropes where Sickness locks in the leg scissors part of his finisher – Jones has nowhere to go!

BP: What a turn around, even I’m impressed!


Sickness pulls back hard on the throat of Jones and the camera zooms in on the face of Lucian, his near unconscious features filling up the TWOTron. Sickness grins at the image, but the smile quickly leaves his face.

BP: What the hell?

The crowd murmur in confusion as Sickness releases the Sicknote and rolls away from Jones. They know he had this won!

S: Help me up then ref!

The official gets Sickness to his feet. Sicky hops to the corner and gestures for a microphone that’s quick in coming.

S: I’ve spent years wrestling and not once in my life have I ever found better fans than here in TWOStars!

At this the crowd pop big!

S: And that’s why I need to admit something. I was proud of who I was and what I had accomplished. Check the tense. ‘Was’. ‘Had’. I came back twice and pretty basically humiliated myself each time. I wasn’t a legend, I was an embarrassment. So when this match was offered to me and Mr. Boyo I knew I had a chance to be the big dog once more. Sickness in the main event against two of the greatest superstars in TWOStars… no, in pro wrestling history!




Sickness nods as the crowd start to chant.

S: Exactly, The Prime Time Playas! For years fans have asked which team was the best, so this was where I proved that I’m still relevant. But my ego refused to let me risk it, so I said I’d agree only if it was a match I couldn’t lose, a match in which I had to submit.

Both Gilmore and Boyo have now walked down to ringside and stand listening to Sickness.

S: I knew I didn’t have enough in the tank to face these men in any other way, Gilmore and Jones. Kylie, help Lucy up then.

The Stray Cat grins as he slides into the ring and helps Jones to his feet.

S: You all saw, twice Lucian had me pinned. And if I was anyone else I would have tapped out by now. If Jones was anyone else he would have been less hesitant in attacking a friend who was injured. Instead he gave me chance after chance that I took to fight back instead of doing the smart thing and giving in – my ego again after more than a decade in the spotlight. And when I locked in the Sicknote I knew it was my time again, that once again Sickness would ride high at the expense of a friend. I did that before, to my eternal shame, and it took years before me and Mr. Boyo could be friends again. I looked at the TWOTron and saw Lucy wasn’t tapping, he was going to lose consciousness before submitting. In that moment I realised just how selfish I had been.

As Sickness is giving his speech Boyo clambers into the ring and helps Sicky stay stood up straight.

S: Thanks Mr Boyo. Lucy, Kylie, I hope you can forgive an old b*stard his ego driven mistakes. You guys are the best tag team we have ever seen. As for this match…I submit.

The crowd applaud as all four men embrace in the centre of the ring.



SH: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match, Kyle Gilmore and Lucian L. Jones; The Prime Time Plaaaayaaaaaas!!


The crowd are on their feet now, applauding all 4 men in the ring as “Clap Your Hands” erupts from the soundsystem. To say the ring is an emotional place right now is somewhat of an understatement, Jones has grabbed Sickness, giving the only Ultimate Champion in TWOStars history a playful noogie, as KG and Boyo shake hands and exchanges pleasant words.

JB: Well what a way to round out our first night here in style, Brice!! The Primetime Playas, Jones and Gilmore, may now have the bragging rights to call themselves the greatest tag team in TWOStars, but something tells me the fans are going to remember both of these teams for a long time after tonight!

THAT WAS AWE-SOME!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
THAT WAS AWE-SOME!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*
THAT WAS AWE-SOME!! *clap**clap**clapclapclap*

BP: You know what, bro? For once I gotta agree with this crowd. That was awesome!! I’m not the kinda guy to throw praise around, but that was one hell of a match between two great teams.

JB: I couldn’t have put it better myself, two teams that encapsulate everything great about the long history of tag team wrestling we’ve had here in TWOStars, and they put on one hell of a final show for this sold out Olympic Stadium!

Both the DA and the PTP show no signs of leaving the ring anytime soon, as The Herbalizer continues to blast through the sound system. Jones again shakes the hand of Boyo, before both he and Gilmore raise the hands of the Dark Alliance, drawing yet me cheers from the crowd.


JB: Well folks, that just about wraps things up for us here on Night One of our Decade of Destruction, but if you thought this was great, just wait until you see what we have in store for you tomorrow!

BP: If TWOStars is going out, it’s going out with a bang, baby!!

Almost as if that were some kind of cue, the roof of the Olympic Stadium erupts with fireworks to the amazement and delight of the capacity crowd.



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The Fury

The Last King of Scotland

We fade in to a massive hall where the official TWOStars send-off party is in full swing! Strobe lights, good music and all the faces from the past of the company are present and having a good time. But we’re only interested in a special three...

Quickly the camera zooms in on everybody’s favourite trio – Cari-Dee, Lucian L Jones (Bitch!) & Randy Roko! The fans can be heard cheering as Lucian and Randy take drinks from their beer as Cari-Dee swirls on the spot in utter glee and happiness.

Cari-Dee: It’s all went perfectly!! All that hard work planning this was worth it!

Randy: Seriously man, you have NO idea how many nights she spent working on this, I was practically invisible!

Lucian laughs as Cari blushes and playfully punches Randy on the shoulder.

Cari-Dee: So, no change from the normal then?

Cari playfully winks as Randy and Lucian laugh.

Lucian: Ooooh! She’s got ya’ there mate!

Randy holds his hand over his heart and pulls a wounded soldier expression and Cari giggles, before kissing him on the cheek.

Lucian: Say, I haven’t congratulated you two yet, have I? Congratulations on the big-day!

Cari and Randy smile broadly as congratulatory hugs and laughs are spread all around.

Lucian: Of course, good ol’ Lucian L Jones has an invitation, right?

Cari-Dee: Haha of COURSE you’re invited!

Lucian’s eyes suddenly widen.

Lucian: Randy. Dude.

Randy smirks and looks down at the floor.

Randy: I wondered how long it would take before he remembered...

Cari looks between the two, confused.

Lucian: We are going to throw the BEST stag-do EVER! I’mma call Kyle, Angus obviously now that you two are best mates again, aw man it is gunna ROCK!

Randy sheepishly grins at Lucian then at Cari who takes on a mock stern look.

Cari-Dee: Better behave boys! I have my sources!

Lucian: Randy – we have a mole. Initiate plan Omega-Alpha-Cannon!

Cari-Dee giggles frantically.

Cari-Dee: What IS it with you two and Cannons!?

Randy: Cannons are Cool.

Lucian nods in agreement.

Lucian: Cannons are definitely Cool.

Now it’s Cari’s turn to widen her eyes as she jumps up and down on the spot.

Cari-Dee: Oh Oh oh!! I just remembered!

Cari-Dee walks off camera momentarily as Lucian and Randy exchange looks.

Randy: Think she’ll come back with a Cannon?

Lucian: If only, man!

Cari appears back on camera holding a design-covered box and she hands it to Lucian, beaming.

Cari-Dee: For you to wear at the stag-do and beyond!

Lucian carefully opens up the box to reveal...

Lucian: Awww yeahh!!

He excitedly pulls out a pair of customized Ray-Ban sunglasses! On each ‘arm’ of the sunglasses is diamantes which are embedded within the sunglasses to form words. On one side is L . L . J while on the other side has his catchphrase; BITCH!

Cari-Dee: I figured you needed a new pair since the last pair I got you was ages ago!

Lucian: It’s perfect, Cari! Thanks!

Lucian puts on his new cool looking sunglasses as the trio put their arms around each other’s shoulders with Cari-Dee in the middle and walk back off into the party, looking happy, content and doubly more snazzier thanks to the customized sunglasses.


Am disappoint, son
Senior Moderator

Intro: The Fury
DS/Denton/Banner Promo: The Fury
Cari/Roko/Angus Promo: Nimf/Ruderz
Dammage vs. Famous: The Fury (thanks Fletch)
Pink & Purple Promo: Nimf
Rockefeller Promo 1: John Hancock
Eagles Promo: The Fury
Hayden Dyas vs. Murdoch: The Fury
Cari/WEB/Lindy Backstage: Nimf
Randy/Eagles Promo: Ruderz
PTP Promo 1: dsrchris
Jaycey Baby Backstage 1: The B-Man
Rockefeller Promo 2: John Hancock
5 Man Ladder Match: The Fury
Jaycey Baby Backstage 2: The B-Man
Deadman Promo: Andrew
PTP Promo 2: dsrchris
Apollo Chambers Promo: Sparrow
Cari/Lindy/Jenny Backstage: Omega (gasp...DUN DUN DUUUUUH!!)
Twiggie vs. Deadman vs. DC: Andrew
Dan Fox/Evil Gringo Promo: The Fury
Keith Jaxx Promo: The B-Man
Rockefeller Promo 3: John Hancock
PTP vs. Dark Alliance: Boyo/dsrchris/Paul
Bonus Segment: Ruderz
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