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Talk Wrestling Online Community Newsletter #217 - 25th June 2009 *Birthday Special*

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Talk Wrestling Online Community Newsletter
***Birthday Special***
Issue #217 – June 25th 2009

Celebrating 9 years of Talk Wrestling Online...

Welcome, one and all, to this, the joint-biggest edition of the esteemed newsletter, the Talk Wrestling Online Birthday Bonanza. All your favourites will be stepping up, although there are some alterations to the usual format for most of them.

Movie Mayhem takes another leave of absence, being replaced by a look at what's been happening in the news over the last nine years. Laffy asks the forum members to tell us their top grappling stars over the same period, John Hancock rejoices in giving us a musical feast, the Photoshop League comes to a close and we announce the winners later on in the newsletter.

The TWOStars round-up is also omitted this fortnight, but, to make up for it, The Probe will back in the next edition with a new man in the saddle. Some say he's lost some weight, others say he's what Freddy Krueger's nightmares are made off.. all we know is he's called The Saz.

And, last but by no means least, the Forum Member who gets to fill us in on his choices of music, movies, interwebby goodness and literature is none other than Powerslam's resident heel, STATELY WAYNE MANOR!!!

Enjoy the extra content, take your time reading it, leave us your feedback and I'll see you on the other side.

The Birthday Speech

9 years old today!

That truly is a phenomenal achievement.

Talk Wrestling Online has exceeded all my expectations; I don’t think I ever thought about still being here 9 years later! In addition, when you consider all the members that have been here for years, it just makes it that much more remarkable. It is a testament to the community we’ve built that we're still taking the time to contribute to the site.

The toughest issue for me has always been trying to manage the thousands of members and the inevitable conflicts that arise. When you take a look at the membership of TWO, we have a wide variety of ages, some members more capable than others at articulating their thoughts and then, let’s not forget, the many personality traits! It’s like the Big Brother house at times...

I am genuinely so proud of what the site has achieved; I’ve spent an incredible amount of time and money on TWO, but it’s been worth it. Ultimately having a ‘friendly’ place where wrestling fans can share their thoughts about shows and storylines, compete against one another (predictions and FWL) and just relax online was always the aim. When you factor in the help and support offered by members here over the years it just goes to a whole other level. I know this all sounds corny but it is how I honestly feel.

Over the past year we’ve had our first ever Cash Giveaway competition, new chatrooms installed, new forum leaders join the team, arcade installed for the Subscribers and a fantastic WrestleMania week of celebrations. But there is one other phenomenon I’ve noticed... BABIES! Seriously, how many members are having babies (not together)...Belty, Dutt, Fletch, Mclovin/The Def and The Joker (Adrian)...did I miss anyone? Seriously... whatsupwiththat?!

As always, I’d like to thank everyone that helps to make the site tick... all the senior moderators, forum leaders and contributors, not to mention all you active forum members!

I hope you enjoy the birthday celebrations.

Talk Wrestling Online Subscribers

Thanks to all the Talk Wrestling Online Subscribers:

Anime_Otaku + Antihero + BRM + Cathal + Chris2K + Darkstar + Fiona + Fletch + Gooneronastick + Inno + Joel + Laffy + Nemesis Enforcer + Nimf + Omega + Reno + Saz + Shane O Mac + The.Icon + The Maxx + TMJ

Total Subscribers: 21

To find out how you can help support Talk Wrestling Online and become a subscriber see:

* Talk Wrestling Online Subscriber Scheme *

Meet The Team

1) How long have you been a member of TalkWrestlingOnline and what keeps you coming back for more?

DC: I've joined in September of 2004 and apart from a few spells of absence (due to moving house mainly), have been a mainstay ever since. I've kept coming back because, sappy as it may sound, TWO is like my second home. I have friends on here, the good-to-idiot ratio for posters is probably the best I've ever come across and I enjoy the work I do on the newsletter, in TWOStars and clogging up the Entertainment Forum.
Kam: I've always been here...just because I love you all so very much. :love:
TPIB: I have been on TWO since November 2005 and what keeps me coming back are the good debates and the overall atmosphere of TWO.
Nimf: Must be 3 years now. If I remember right, I joined on or near Valentines Day too.
Laffy: Since July 2006. I just love the site. It has become part of my life, I have made friends and enjoy being part of TWOStars. I have to check it everyday or I get withdrawal symptoms.
Darkstar: Since back in '04. Huh, longer than I thought. I keep coming back as I love the place and I don't hate the users too much. Except for JobberJoe, he stinks like dirty nappies.
ScottyB: Since October '07, which is 1 year and 8 months. As for the latter part, I really don't know. I guess it's the little things like when Naitch makes a post which makes you want to turn around and slap your own mother for being an ill-informed fool, or the [failed] attempts of many people who try to reason with TNA fans that always end up with the same response.
John Hancock: Coming up to two years. It's just a lot of fun. I like the people here, and I like talking with them. It's a nice community feeling.
Fiona: Since December 2007. In the beginning, it was mostly habit, but now I like to keep up with some of the friends I've made on here.
O'Brian: n/a
Vic Veldon: n/a

2) What was the wildest birthday party you've been too (it doesn't have to be your own)?

DC: My mate Chunk's 21st in 1997 was a riot. Twenty of us crammed into the Glasgow Hilton's function suite, full-frontal strippers (x3), a free bar (covered by Chunk's parents), tickets (from the three strippers) to Legs & Co. that granted free entry after the actual party for six of us (the core group - me, Chunk, Jiamé, Brian, Martyn and Veldon - have all been friends since the age of two), the three strippers who gave us the tickets coming back to the club with us and then, after the night was finished, back to the hotel, where we'd booked two rooms, with said three strippers and three of their colleagues for a night of... well, you can guess the rest. There are pictures somewhere.
Kam: One of my favourites was a family one with brothers/sisters and all my niece and nephews...we ended up having a huge water fight.
TPIB: Well, it's a simple answer; I've never had a birthday party, nor have I ever been to one.
Nimf: Claire Massey's party. I knew it would be interesting when I walked in (with my then boyfriend), leant against a wall and smashed a mirror. Claire's reaction? "There's been worse already". It became one of those parties that my mates and I only have to say "Claire Massey's party" and we're already laughing. Too many stories for here - too many illegal things to be spoken about!!!
Laffy: Is it bad that I have not been to a wild party, only tame ones?
Darkstar: I assume my college mate Jamie's. I woke up on a sofa of a house I had never been to before, surrounded by people I didnt know, with a hoover-bag on each foot.
ScottyB: One that involved a super-hero, a zombie, a sumo wrestler, Misty from Pokemon, a doctor as well as a huge number of other beings. Everyone just got so drunk, and well, you figure out what happens when some teenagers, with a free house, get drunk whilst in fancy dress.
John Hancock: I've been to a few. The wildest one, I probably don't remember, because of its wildness.
Fiona: It was a friend of mine's. I got drunk, did the Can Can on the buffet table and then proceeded to sit in a bowl of potato salad. Don't remember a thing, but a lot of other people do.
O'Brian: Panama, 2004, Jack Daniels, a woman called Simonique and plenty of music.
Vic Veldon: My 21st. I'm legally not allowed to say anymore.

3) Should Kam, as a special treat to the whole of TWO, post a picture of himself in the TWO 10th Birthday Newsletter? What is your reason for yes or no?

DC: I think he should, or, at the very least, put his voice to a clip of K.I.T.T. from Knightrider's voice display so we can hear what he sounds like.
Kam: Posting a picture of myself online would be a special treat for everyone? TREAT? I'm scared...
TPIB: I never really thought about it, actually. I say no. Keep the anonymity going. It's part of the fun of being on the internet. I wish I could keep the same mystery to me. It's a little late for that, though.
Nimf: Very much yes! My reason? Because we wanna know the face behind the place!
Laffy: I would like to see the mystery man/robot simply to prove or dispel the theories.
Darkstar: Hell, yeah!
ScottyB: Yes, because we can then put all these claims of Kam being a cyborg/super-computer to rest.
John Hancock: We should never see Kam. He's like Merris in Fraiser. We should never, ever get to see his face, the mystery would be ruined.
Fiona: I say no, keep the mystery going. Wait until the 25th birthday edition.
O'Brian: Sure.
Vic Veldon: Is it a big deal or something?

Talk Wrestling Online Community Update

Talk Wrestling Online
Celebrating 9 years online!

Talk Wrestling Online Cash Giveaway - Win £15 everyday for the next 9 days!

Macho Madness – The Ultimate Randy Savage Collection Competition - We have 5 copies to give away!

WWE Encyclopedia Book Competition - Win a copy of the WWE Encyclopedia Book plus there is a runner up prize of a WrestleMania T-Shirt!

Arcade - The Subscriber-only feature is available for all members for the next 9 days!

Talk Wrestling Online - Chatroom Information

WWE The Bash PPV Quiz And Chat - Sunday 28th June!

Discussion | Betting | Predictions *Win £20*

Join us on Sunday 28th June from 9pm UK time for The Bash PPV Quiz and Chat in the TWO Chatroom.

PPV Quiz

The Quiz will take place from 9-10pm in the Quiz Room. The quiz league leaderboard has been updated:

* Quiz Leaderboard *

Quiz participants should pay particular attention to the history of The Great American Bash (along with other past wrestling events which took place in June) in order to give themselves an advantage in the quiz. The quiz will be hosted by ME!

Anyone can take part in the quiz, you do not need to register, just turn up in the Quiz Room at 9pm (UK Time).

PPV Chat

The PPV Chat will take place after the quiz, from 10pm to 1am (UK Time). Talk to fellow TWO users about the PPV, and give your thoughts on each match! Discuss it in the TWO Chatrooms!

So don't miss out on a night of fun, join us for The Bash Quiz and Chat! Don't forget, The Bash takes place on Sunday 28th June, and the evening's activities begin from 9pm, starting with the Quiz. We'll see you there, in the chatroom

Talk Wrestling Online Stats


1. How Are You Today? [General Chat]

2. Summer Transfers [Other Sports Forum]

3. WWE 3-For-All Discussion Thread [US Scene Forum]

4. England To Win The World Cup? [Other Sports Forum]

5. XTV 5:10 Live from the Frank Irwin Centre, Austin, Texas [TWO Stars > Booking and Creative Forum]

6. Random News Update Thread [US Scene Forum]

7. Commercial-Free RAW Discussion Thread [US Scene Forum]

8. Random News or Comments Thread [General Chat]

9. The last film you watched? [Entertainment Forum]

10. Call To Ban Smoking in Cars Containing Children [General Chat]


1. Nemesis Enforcer
2. DC
3. Darkstar
4. John Hancock
5. Jay 2 the Funk
6. TMJ
7. Jimmy Redman
8. Fiona
9. Saz
10. ScottyB

Forum Member's Picks of the Fortnight
It's only Stately Wayne bloomin' Manor

~Website~ Where else would you find the official "World’s Most Conceited Man" but at Lots of stoopit fun in the ETC section - including the exclusive Online Mirror!

~Movie~ Yowl, I must have watched ten movies in the past fortnight, so, I’ll single out Bloodsucking Freaks, a sick sick sick sick flick with lots of nude girls. What’s not to love?

~Album~ Modesty forbids me to mention, if one gets the special CD-and-DVD edition of David Bowie’s "Young Americans", you’ll find FOUR pics containing SWManor within the booklet; so I’ll instead name-check Magazine’s nasty new-wave classic "Secondhand Daylight" and inform TWO members that I’ll gladly sing the chorus of "Permafrost" to your sister.

~Book~ "The Midnight Express & Jim Cornette 25th Anniersary Scrapbook" - a must-read for fans of the team and those interested in the era.


Talk Wrestling Online Photoshop League

Welcome to the final edition of the Photoshop League! It's been a journey that has shown us the artistic potential some of our members have and, well, some of the crazy ideas the others have. I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has entered and to DC for letting me steal some of his newsletter every fortnight. This week only saw 4 entries, which was kind of expected because only 5 people were in with a chance of winning a prize... and where's the fun in taking part when you can't win?

The final set of words were:
Kam + Champagne + Party

And here are the winners :)

In third came this picture from Nemesis Enforcer!.

In second came this picture from Darkstar!.

And finally, the winner of this Week is *Drum Roll*
Dr Zero!

And here is his winning entry!

This means the final leader board looks like this.

Dr Zero.................................38
Nemesis Enforcer....................32

Which means that:

Dr Zero came 1st and will get a £20 gift voucher for an online store of his choice.

Nemesis Enforcer came 2nd and will get a £10 gift voucher for an online store of his choice

Darkstar came 3rd and will get a SUPER RETRO TALKWRESTLINGONLINE.COM T -Shirt (In what ever colour he wants, providing it's black)​

Member Spotlight

Using retro colours, but feels like it's been there forever and never leaving. Like Triple H.


Shane O Mac: Helloooo! I'm Shane O Mac... known to most people as Emma.

MRB: Hello! I'm Martin, otherwise known as Rudie or `MRB`. I'm 14 and from Irvine, Scotland. I do karate and am nearing my black belt soon. I have been on TWO for over a year now and wouldn't change a thing. Generally, I'm an upbeat, very fun (If I say so myself) kinda person to be with, always up for a laugh and can do the craziest things when hyper! My friends all think I'm crazy though... What if I am?

Phil: My name is Phil, 22, I’ve just become a fully qualified teacher, so beware, I will f**k your kids' education up!

Reno: I'm Reno. I'm one of the Entertainment Forum Leaders.

Da Showstoppa: My name's Mike, but you'll all know me as Da Showstoppa (in homage to the great Shawn Michaels, of course) I'm 29 years old and married to one of the biggest Triple H fans in the world, my lovely Liz.


Shane O Mac: Natalie did... we were at a hotel in London before the Raw show last year, she logged on, I saw it and it looked fun, so joined a week or so later.

MRB: The old chatroom! I logged on and met some of the people on here, heard there was a forum and just HAD to join up. (I remember I had to wait MONTHS though).

Phil: Went searching for a wrestling forum after the Jeff Hardy vs Randy Orton Match at the 2008 Rumble. Was gutted Jeff didn't win and wanted to vent about it. I think TWO was the first search result.

Reno: As much as I'd like to say for discussions and debates, I'd be totally telling lies. I came here for TWOStars, just TWOStars.

Da Showstoppa: I found TWO mostly through the gaming side of the site. I used to talk about upcoming wrestling games, such as the Smackdown series, but I ventured into the wrestling discussions and basically never left!


Shane O Mac: It was slightly odd to start with. Some of the posters just seemed so knowledgeable and it was a bit like "OMG" reading the posts and everything. That probably makes no sense at all, but it does to me which is never a good thing :lol:

MRB: Very excited, I had never been on a forum before and this was my first ever, so I was unsure on what to do, but the ever so kind people here were nice to me and they helped me out whenever I had questions. I was slightly nervous in case my opinions made me look like an idiot, but learned that doesn't matter over time :)

Phil: Well I was so determined to rave about Jeff not winning the title, I didn't make an introduction thread and got straight into trouble by posting a spoiler, so you could say I wasn't too fussed about it. I've been joining established forums for years, I think if you pussy-foot around then people will ignore you, just jump right in and see what happens.

Reno: It was a little strange; I hadn't been on a forum this big before. The only forums I had been on had a small, but active community. Once I got past the size of it, I managed to start posting everywhere else.

Da Showstoppa: TWO seemed like a very well run and moderated site - the vast majority of posts and discussions were really enjoyable and relevant. Sometimes sites with fan comments can get bogged down in spam and nonsense, but I've found little of that here. I feel that I can express myself and take part in good discussions, both about wrestling and other things too. I think in my own small way I've established myself as a regular and hopefully someone who's points are listened to, if not always agreed with. I'm a passionate individual and often use TWO to address gripes and rant a bit about the state of wrestling.


Shane O Mac: Most welcoming... hmm... Nimf, Fiona and Claire. Everyone was though. Wouldn't say anyone really terrified me, everyone seemed nice. :)

MRB: Well, the three people who made me feel most welcome have to be: Nimf! (Not saying this to get brownie points), Fiona (a really nice person) and Dr ZERO (because he has been my friend for so long!). I never really didn't like anyone to be honest, sure had disagreements, but never really disliked someone.

Phil: Like I said I didn't create a introduction thread so I don't think there's any one person who made me feel welcome, I just kinda got on with the posting. No-one really terrified me. It's very easy to create a persona on a forum that you can use to intimidate people. I've been around forums long enough to know that letting someone bully you online is pointless. Just roll your eyes and carry on with your life.

Reno: I've no idea, I didn't get many people welcoming me in my intro thread. But as time went on people like Ray and Nimf started talking to me, so I guess they can count. And if I remember, I was a bit terrified of the awesomeness of Inno :)

Da Showstoppa: Overall, I think everyone made me feel welcome. I think I was overawed by the posters with big numbers - and I even made the unwise decision to argue about replica belts with Beltmark (of all people!), but I like to think that a good point is given due consideration - no matter who makes it, from the wisest forum sage to a newbie.


Shane O Mac: Don't act like you know it all, read what people actually put and be nice!

MRB:) Use correct grammar, use correct spelling, STAY and don't be put off if your opinions don't turn out to be well received. :)

Phil: As I said before, jump straight in and get posting. As long as you aren't talking out your arse then people will generally respond.

Reno: Actually make an effort to post, instead of just posting an intro thread or and e-fed plug and then disappearing completely.

Da Showstoppa: For a new visitor I'd say introduce yourself first, read the threads and think about what you want to say - If you can capture attention with your first few posts, then it goes a long way to establishing yourself. Don't be afraid to put your point across about anything, after all it's our differing points that make for the best discussion. Just follow the rules, and have fun. It's a great community and one I'm proud to belong to.


Shane O Mac:No idea, lol. If I decide I can afford to go to WrestleMania next year, then it'll possibly be spent over there, if not, then probably work!

MRB: Hopefully with some Bacardi Breezers, that or the usual, a night in with family and friends with a cake. :D

Phil: Well I'm 23 on my next birthday, hardly a milestone, so I think going out for a meal with the family will suffice. Went to Skeggy for the day last year, so something along those lines wouldn't be too bad.

Reno: I have no idea. It's my 19th, so it's nothing special. I probably won’t have a party, but if I did it'd be fancy dress. I think I'd dress up as Groucho Marx. To be honest, I'd probably just end up going for a meal with some friends and then off to the pub.

Da Showstoppa: Celebrate my next birthday? Well it's the big 30 for me next Feb and I quite like the idea of burning some rubber on the kart track with my mates. Liz has already promised me the "30" roadsign card!


Shane O Mac: Um...hi? lol...nah, cheers for possibly the most entertaining board I've ever been on!

MRB: I'm chuffed I got picked to do this! I hope you didn't get too bored reading about me; I think I could use my life story as a bedtime lullaby :)

Phil: You're putting me on the spot now. I'll probably think of 10 witty phrases as soon as this has been sent!

Reno: Don't like it. 2/10.

Da Showstoppa: In closing, to quote Ric Flair, I'd like to say thanks to TWO for making me feel welcome, and accepting me into the community. It's great to be here - and I hope to be here for some time to come. Oh and HBK still owns everyone! :)

WWE Superstar Of The Year: 2000 - 2008


With Talk Wrestling Online celebrating its ninth birthday today, I thought I would do something a little different than the usual WWE Week in Review!

I joined TWO in November 2005 and have been an active member ever since. Having tried various wrestling forums prior to joining here, I have to say TWO is the best forum out there. TWO is a big part of my online life, a place where you can share your thoughts on almost anything imaginable. Having the opportunity to read and discuss various topics in a friendly and mature (most of the time! :p) environment means so much to me. Long may it continue!

With it being the 9th Birthday I thought about taking a look at who I think was the WWE Superstar of the Year for each year TWO has been alive...

2000: Triple H

No wrestler had a better year in 2000 than Triple H. He started off the year winning his third WWE Title on January 3, 2000. For me, the number of reigns or the reigns themselves that Triple H had as WWE Champion is not the big story of why Triple H is my pick for the top Superstar of 2000. Many people will agree that Triple H’s two legendary matches with Mick Foley made him a bigger star that year. At the 2000 Royal Rumble, Triple H defended the title against Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack) in a brutal Street Fight (the one where Triple H got a puncture wound in his calf). Then they followed up with a great Hell in a Cell performance at No Way Out 2000 where Triple H "retired" Mick Foley (you see how that worked out). Another big reason for why Triple H dominated 2000 is his feud with Stone Cold Steve Austin late in the year. In late 2000, Triple H was revealed as the man behind the wheel of the car that ran Austin down at the 1999 Survivor Series. This led to a match between the two at the 2000 Survivor Series where Austin dropped a car containing Triple H from a crane. Then at Armageddon, Triple H was part of the Armageddon Hell in a Cell Match. Triple H’s career really sky rocketed in 2000.

2001: Stone Cold Steve Austin

2001 was the year of Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin won the Royal Rumble for a historic third time in January, won the WWE Title by turning heel against The Rock at WrestleMania, and joined up with Vince McMahon only to turn on him and the WWE to join the WCW/ECW coalition during the "Invasion". For a short time, Stone Cold formed "The Power Trip" with Triple H (until Triple H got injured the night after Judgment Day). The whole "Invasion" angle seemed to centre around Stone Cold and the WWE Title being in the WCW/ECW camp. For many fans (including myself), 2001 was really Stone Cold’s last year as a full-time wrestler for the WWE. It seemed like, as soon as 2002 arrived, Austin’s full-time wrestling career was over.

2002: Shawn Michaels

2002 was a big year for many fans of Shawn Michaels as HBK returned to the WWE after being told he would never wrestle again following his lower back injury (which he suffered in a Casket Match against The Undertaker for the title at the 1998 Royal Rumble). HBK had a great series of matches with Triple H; the Street Fight at SummerSlam, the Hell in a Cell Match at Bad Blood, and the "3 Stages of Hell" match at Armageddon. Not to mention he competed in and won the inaugural Elimination Chamber Match at Survivor Series.

2003: Brock Lesnar

Even though Brock Lesnar arrived in 2002, I believe that, once Shawn Michaels returned, Lesnar was a little bit overshadowed. Lesnar had an equally good 2003; he won the 2003 Royal Rumble and beat Kurt Angle at WrestleMania for the WWE Title. Lesnar followed it up with a successful title defence against Big Show in a Stretcher Match at Judgment Day. Lesnar would eventually lose the title to Kurt Angle at Vengeance. In a 60-Minute Iron Match on SmackDown in September, Brock Lesnar would defeat Kurt Angle to claim his third WWE Title. Lesnar then entered an intense feud with The Undertaker that led to a Biker Chain Match at No Mercy. At Survivor Series, Lesnar would begin his final feud in the WWE as he and Goldberg butted heads in a feud that culminated at WrestleMania XX.

2004: Chris Benoit

2004 was the year that Benoit arrived in the main event scene in the WWE. He had some stints in championship matches before, but 2004 was the year he won "the big one". First he won that year’s Royal Rumble and then he beat Triple H & Shawn Michaels in a Triple Threat at WrestleMania. Even though his title reign only lasted until SummerSlam, I still consider 2004 the best year in the career of Chris Benoit.

2005: John Cena

I hate to say it, but 2005 was John Cena’s year. He was the only Superstar to hold the WWE Title in the entire year. He beat JBL at WrestleMania and again at Judgment Day before being drafted to RAW with the title, where he had a great Triple Threat Match with Christian & Chris Jericho that many people forget about with the Hell in a Cell Match between Batista & Triple H taking place at the same event (Vengeance). I’m sure many readers will argue that Batista had the best year in 2005 with his Royal Rumble win and beating Triple H at WrestleMania, then the aforementioned Hell in a Cell Match, but when you look at the year overall, it seems to me that Cena edged out Batista. After Batista got drafted to SmackDown, his reign as champion kind of fizzled out while Cena kept going strong with a series of matches with Kurt Angle & Chris Jericho.

2006: Edge

2006 was a fantastic year for Edge. He cashed in the Money-in-the-Bank contract to win his first WWE Title at New Year’s Revolution (despite losing it a few weeks later, it was still a step in the right direction). He would win the title again in July, though he lost it soon after in a great TLC Match with John Cena at Unforgiven in his hometown. Then, in November, Edge became a historic twelve time tag team champion when he won the World Tag Team Titles with Randy Orton as Rated RKO.

2007: Edge

Yes, you are reading it right; I believe that Edge is the Superstar of 2007 also! In January, he teamed with Randy Orton as Rated RKO to face D-Generation X at New Year’s Revolution (where Triple H injured his other quad and was out of action until SummerSlam). Then he went on to be one of the final four men in the 2007 Royal Rumble (with Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, and the winner of the match, The Undertaker) after entering #5 and lasting 44 minutes and 2 seconds in the match. The big story of the year for Edge came in May of 2007 when he beat the soon-to-be suspended Mr. Kennedy for the Money-in-the-Bank briefcase. The same week, Edge cashed in the contract on The Undertaker and defeated him to win his first World Heavyweight Championship (and become a SmackDown Superstar). Even though Edge got injured in July and had to forfeit the title, he returned at the 2007 Survivor Series to screw The Undertaker out of the title in a Hell in a Cell Match against champion Batista. Edge then followed that up by beating both Batista & The Undertaker in a Triple Threat Match at Armageddon to win his second World Heavyweight Title.

2008: Chris Jericho

Believe it or not, I almost put Edge as the top Superstar of 2008 (which I could make a good case for considering his series with The Undertaker). However Chris Jericho is my top Superstar of 2008. He won the World Heavyweight Title twice, with the first reign being the first World Title he held since 2002. I start in January, where Jericho’s year began by continuing a brief, but intense, feud with JBL that culminated at the Royal Rumble. In April, Chris Jericho defeated the soon-to-be suspended Jeff Hardy to break his own record and win his eighth Intercontinental Championship. Then, at Unforgiven, Jericho entered the Championship Scramble and ended up winning the World Heavyweight Title. After winning the title, Jericho would face Shawn Michaels in an excellent Ladder Match at No Mercy. Jericho would lose the title to Batista at Cyber Sunday, but would win it back a little over a week later in a Steel Cage Match on RAW. Jericho ended up losing the title to the returning John Cena at Survivor Series. Finally in December, Jericho won the Slammy Award for the 2008 Superstar of the Year, which really solidified the great year he had.

I do not think it would be a good idea to put who I believe the Superstar of 2009 is considering we are only half way through the year. If I have to make a prediction for who I think it will be, I’ll have to say CM Punk. I can see a heel turn and an excellent reign as World Heavyweight Champion (hopefully better than his first). Randy Orton is another front-runner to having a great 2009.

Time will tell.

Happy Ninth, TWO!

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Room 101

The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.​

Welcome readers, welcome to the Ministry of Love. My name is O’Brian and I will be taking you through a process where we uncover your most hated and feared things in life. Those sufficiently evil will be placed in Room101, for they are the worst things in the world.

The rules of Room101 are easy. One of the proles is brought in and interrogated about 5 things they believe should be confined into Room101 forever. I, O’Brian, will decide which, if any, deserve to go into that dark place. Should a prole get three or more of their nominations into the room they are allowed to pick a bonus item to go in, overriding me. Should they get two or less in, something will escape to haunt their dreams.

This week we plumb the depths of despair that exists in the soul of John Hancock.


Why do people like tea? Why? It's awful! It smells of hospitals and old peoples homes, and, thus by proxy, death. It doesn't even taste good, and it's the colour of a puddle. Plus, every time I leave the country, some wise-ass is offering me tea because I'm English, and thus have to love it.

Now I’m not a fan of tea, but I certainly enjoy the smell. OK, it’s not coffee but not much is. Besides, tea gives us a stereotype that’s relatively harmless. I’m sure you’d rather be offered a cup of Earl Grey than a toothbrush and a dentist’s phone number with a price list.

No, tea is staying out of Room101.


An odd one, yeah, but I was raised around these motherf*ckers. They are evil, evil creatures. If they aren't just randomly attacking each other all day long, they're just being difficult. First, they hate everything else that's alive and air this displeasure with biting, spitting, kicking, head butting and generally being as awkward as physically possible about everything. They hate being ridden, they had being looked at, they hate being stroked, they hate being fed, they hate all other camels... they're just awful. I'm a vegetarian, but, if someone offered me camel meat, I'd accept it, because they're evil, evil beast, and they deserve it.

Just look at that picture, camels have got amazing eyelashes, they look like Angelina Jolies. Add the two lumps and you have potential for crazy people marriages. Hold on, spitting, head butting, being awkward, hates to be ridden… that’s my ex wife. Yeah, this goes straight in.

Every winner from any *country/Pop, because we're so scared of saying our own country's name* Idol.

Just, what's the point? I like the show, and I watch it, but, when it ends I feel cold and hollow. Why? Because, apparently, Simon Cowell still thinks it's 1983, and he keeps on bringing in these boring, warbling indentikit people just because they sing Whitney Houston (for girls) or Frank Sinatra (for boys). It's so pathetic. No one cares about that style of music any more. They never pay any attention to charisma, or cool, or style, or performance, just how long they can hold the last note of every song. Pathetic. I'm a vegetarian, but, if someone offered me Simon Cowell's heart, I'd accept it, because he's a useless, useless man, and he deserves it.

Things like X Factor exist for 1 reason and 1 reason alone, so we can laugh at the crazies, the retards and the just plain stupid people who audition as we try to work out which category they belong in, or if they are just winding us up. Things like The Chicken Factory Guy, Ariel or Ant and Def. It also helps that we have had some fantastic songs from the likes of Leona Lewis and Kelly Clarkson. No, like tea this avoids being locked up in Room101.


I don't like it. Yes, I don't like the entire concept of heat. I like the sun, and I like general warmth, but heat? No, heat can go away. It makes people sleepy, and uncomfortable, and smelly, and it makes men wear sandals, and it makes cute pale girls go red, and it makes skinny jeans unfeasible difficult to wear, and it makes my forehead sweaty, thus ruining my fringe... I'll stop before I sound anymore gay, but, yeah, heat is bad.

Well, the fact that it stops skinny jeans and crappy hair should be enough to keep it out, but… but… sandals. The thought makes me shudder, and there’s nothing worse than a hot redhead getting sunburnt. The worst thing about heat is having to get on public transport and sit next to a fat guy in a Star Trek t-shirt, the sweat patches extending from the armpits and meeting in his man cleavage. But heat also means women being semi-naked.

Hmmmm. Going into Room101 for making me sleep in the day and lie awake all night.

People who don't like things because they're popular

I would rather felate Hitler than spend two seconds talking to these kinds of people. And they're out there. I like pop music, and "emo", and I care about fashion, and I really like Judd Apatow films and I couldn't care less really, but, on a day-to-day basis, there's so many people who are just far too concerned with being cool, and with being counter-culture, and with not being "a conformist sheep". I fully condone a Holocaust on those kinds of people. Whoever's doing this, be nice and embed the Say Anything song "Admit It" after this. Says it better than I can.

This has been the easiest call I have ever made, and if I ever nominated for Room101 this would go straight in at the top of my list. Why care if someone else thinks a band/film/movement is ‘cool’ or not? What difference does it make to your life? Though if it helps, Mr Hancock, emo has never been cool.

In Room101 it goes.

That’s a three out of five score for the second week in a row, so Hancock, you get to choose one of your failed nominations to go into Room101 over my head, either tea or every winner from any *country/Pop, because we're so scared of saying our own country's name* Idol.

Well, I suppose that Leona Lewis has done some decent tunes. Tea to go in

Very well.

Room 101 now also contains:

People who stop liking things that become popular.

Well done John, now go back to your work at The Ministry of Peace.

Take care Proles,


In the News - The TWO Years

I decided that Movie Mayhem could take a hiatus for the Birthday Edition (there's only so many times you can recycle a "Movies in TWO's Lifetime" article), so, to fill the gap, I thought I'd take a look through the years of Talk Wrestling Online's existence and rediscover what was making the news over that period.

Y2K? More Like Y2OK.

The Y2K problem was supposed herald us into a new Dark Age when the computer systems around the world, unable to cope with a date change above two digits (1998 to 1999 was OK, but 1999 changing to 2000 would disrupt the system which, unable to cope, would go from 1999 to 1900).

They said that planes would fall from the sky, major utilities would become destabilised, riots, famine and other disasters would follow and the world as we know it would cease to exist. This wasn't a new way of thinking; a book first published in 1984 theorised that computers would struggle with the change.

So what exactly did happen when midnight struck and we went into the year 2000? I'll tell you what happened... absolutely nothing. No planes fell, electricity was still supplied to homes, there were no riots or famine (outside those which would have happened anyway) and things went on as normal, except, of course, for those who made millions from "fixing" the Y2K "problem" for thousands and thousands of companies around the world.

In other news:

January 10th - America Online announce a merger with Time Warner; the largest corporate merger in history.
January 26th - Rage Against the Machine perform on Wall Street, prompting trading to close early.
January 31st - Dr. Harold Shipman found guilty on fifteen counts of murder.
February 12th - Charles Schulz dies and, the following day, the last ever Peanuts comic strip is published.
February 17th - Windows 2000 launched.
March 12th - Pope John Paul II apologises for all the wrongs perpetuated by the Roman Catholic Church.
March 26th - Vladimur Putin elected President of Russia.
May 4th - The ILOVEYOU virus, spreading all across the globe in one day (infecting at least 10% of all computers connected to the internet), was released.
May 25th - Israel withdraws from Lebanon.
July 18th - Sarah Payne, who went missing on July 1st, is found dead by Sussex Police. A murder investigation is launched straight away.
July 22nd - Spearheaded by News of the World, the "Sarah's Law" petition begins.
July 25th - Air France Flight 4590 (a Concorde), crashes into a hotel straight after takeoff from Paris. 109 aboard, and 4 in the hotel, die.
July 31st - George W. Bush is nominated by the Republican Party to run for President.
August 12th - The Kursk sinks in the Barent Sea. All on board (118 men) die after what appears to be an attempted cover-up by Russian authorities.
September 7th - The UK Fuel protests, lasting a week, began. The country hadn't seen anything like it in decades, with panic buying across the board becoming the norm.
September 28th - Ariel Sharon causes widespread rioting and a full-scale armed uprising after visiting the Temple Mount.
October 5th - Slobodan Milošević steps down amidst unrest in Serbia.
October 11th - The Martin County Coal Sludge disaster occurs. 250MILLION gallons of coal sludge spills into waterways all across the county in an environmental disaster on a scale almost unheard of, even surpassing the Exxon Valdez.
October 30th - The last day in history where there was no human in space. From this day, the ISS has been manned, meaning a human presence has been orbiting ever since.
November 7th - George W. Bush becomes the 43rd President of the United States.
December 13th - The U.S. Supreme Court stops the Florida recount, meaning Bush is officially the new President.

Highest Grossing Movie in 2000: Mission Impossible II - $546million
Biggest Selling Album in 2000: 'N Sync - No Strings Attached

9/11 - The REAL Day the Earth Stood Still

What can be said that hasn't already been said before? This generation's JFK Assassination, a time where we all remember where we were when we first found out, is one of the most dissected moments in our race's history.

Two aeroplanes, hijacked by Al-Qaeda crash into the Twin Towers in New York, causing both symbolic buildings of the world-famous New York skyline to crumble to the ground. A third plane hit the Pentagon and a fourth was heading for Camp David (or so they assume) when it was taken back by the brave passengers (chronicled in the fantastic United 93). It brought home to the US people that terrorism doesn't give a shit who you are, what you are and what you believe. It's not an understatement to say that this single act changed the entire landscape of the planet - things will never be the same again.

All the conspiracy theories can't take away from the fact that nearly 3,000 innocent people, from all nationalities, creeds, religions and orientations were slain in cold blood. Al-Qaeda (and how many of us can honestly say we'd heard of them before this date?) only wanted to strike a blow against the West and those who oppose the war on terror need to remember that Al-Qaeda couldn't care less what you think - you are a Westerner, thus you need to be killed or converted to their way of thinking.

I was working night-shift and awoke around 1pm (I still can't remember why, I'd normally stay in bed until 6pm) and thought I'd watch some TV before going back to bed. I turned on to BBC2 and the news was on, so, without paying attention to what was being discussed, I flicked the channels until it hit me that all of them were showing the same thing. For the next six hours, all I could do was stare at the TV in disbelief.

Not only was this, in my opinion, the biggest news story in 2001, it was the biggest news story of my lifetime and is unlikely to be eclipsed for the power of the images and its effect on the world.

In other news:

January 1st - A 9ft-tall black monolith appears in Seattle, Washington, placed there by an anonymous artist in honour of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
January 11th - The merger between AOL and Time Warner is approved.
January 13th - A 7.6 earthquake hits El Salvador, killing around 800 people and leaving thousands more homeless.
January 15th - Wikipedia is launched.
January 20th - George W. Bush is sworn in as President of the United States.
January 26th - Gujarat, India hit by a massive earthquake; 12,000 dead.
February 13th - El Salvador is hit by another earthquake (6.6), killing another 400.
February 18th - Dale Earnhardt, legendary NASCAR driver, is killed after an accident on the last lap of the Daytona 500.
February 20th - The UK Foot & Mouth crisis begins.
February 28th - The Selby Rail Crash; ten killed.
March 23rd - The Mir space station comes back to Earth, falling into the Pacific Ocean.
April 29th - The U.K. Census is taken.
April 30th - Blanche Barton steps down as High Priestess of the Church of Satan.
June 1st - The Nepalese Royal Massacre takes place.
June 7th - Tony Blair wins a second term as Prime Minister.
June 11th - Timothy McVeigh, the Oklahoma City bomber, is executed in Indiana.
July 2nd - The world's first self-contained artificial heart transplant operation is performed.
July 19th - Jeffrey Archer is jailed for four years after being found guilty of perjury and perverting the course of justice.
September 12th - Israel send tanks into Jericho.
September 18th - Anthrax attacks via the mail begin.
October 7th - The War in Afghanistan gets under way.
October 25th - Windows XP is released.
October 26th - The USA PATRIOT Act is made law.
November 4th - The Police Service of Northern Ireland replaces the Royal Ulster Constabulary.
November 10th - John Howard wins third term as Australian Prime Minister.
December 2nd - Enron file for bankruptcy; the largest such case in history at that point in time.
December 12th - Roy Whiting is found guilty of the murder of Sarah Payne in July. He is recommended to never be released.
December 22nd - Richard Reid, The Shoe Bomber, fails in his attempt to blow up the aircraft he was aboard, with a bomb hidden in the heel of his shoe.

Highest Grossing Movie: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - $975million
Biggest Selling Album: Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory

Washington Sniper

For three weeks (August 2nd - August 24th), the pairing of John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo caused untold terror around the greater Washington area. At the end of their spree, eleven innocent, random, unknowing people were dead and three were seriously injured. They had also robbed and killed three people the month before in Alabama and Louisiana.

Skulking around in a converted 1990 Chevrolet Caprice sedan, the pair would target people at random. The first killing was on October 2nd and by the end of the following day, six people were shot and killed (four within a two-hour span) within a few miles of each other.

One of the more peculiar aspects of the shootings was that military snipers took offence to the killer (at the time, it was thought to be the work of one man) being given that distinction. They said that, due to the distances involved, the murderer would need very little skill in shooting and, as such, should not be referred to as actual sniper.

The two men were arrested after they were caught sleeping at a truck stop and a trucker, who blocked them in, called the police. The weapon, bullets and various spoils from their robberies was found in the vehicle, along with the method of attack; a hole was drilled into the boot of the car, allowing whichever one who was shooting to do so from a very concealed location.

This was a stark reminder that terror is not only going to come from outside our shores.

In other news:

January 8th - President Bush signs into law the No Child Left Behind Act.
January 16th - The UN establishes a weapons embargo on Osama Bin Laden as well as freezing his assets.
February 18th - Former New York Mayor, Rudy Giuliani an honourary knighthood.
February 28th - The Euro becomes the legal tender across most of Europe.
March 19th - Operation Anaconda in Afghanistan comes to an end.
March 30th - The Queen Mother dies in her sleep, quelling rumours she was in fact an indestructible robot from the future who absolutely will not stop... ever.
May 6th - The World Wrestling Federation ceases to exist under that name. Vince McMahon, after losing a court case in the London against the World Wildlife Fund (which, ironically, would also change it's name), would change the name of the company to World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), which has been used ever since.
May 30th - The last piece of rubble is removed from Ground Zero.
July 27th - The Skynyliv Airshow Disaster; a display pilot crashes in Ukraine, killing 80 people and injuring around 100 more. It is the worst airshow disaster in history.
August 6th - Police launch an appeal for the safe return of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman, both 10yrs old. They had been murdered two days earlier by Ian Huntley.
September 12th - President Bush addresses the UN Council, asking them to face the "truth" about Iraq or to step aside and let them get on with their plans.
September 18th - The body of Amanda "Milly" Dowler (13yrs old) is found six months after she disappeared. She had been stripped and all her possessions were missing and, as of today, they are still unaccounted for.
November 8th - The UN tells Saddam Hussein to disarm or face the consequences.
November 25th - The U.S. Department of Homeland Security is formed.
December 9th - United Airlines file for bankruptcy.

Highest Grossing Movie: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - $925million
Biggest Selling Album: Eminem - The Eminem Show

"I'll Be Back"

In the Sylvester Stallone movie Demolition Man, there is a brief scene where Lt. Lenina Huxley (Sandra Bullock) says to John Spartan (Stallone), in a throwaway joke, that they should check out the Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Library, stating that due to the popularity of his movies, the U.S. Constitution was amended to allow naturalised citizens to run for president.

On October 7th, 2003, Arnie was elected to be Governor of California (dubbed The Governator), with some senators actually petitioning to have the constitution amended to allow him to run for President. It seems Stallone was ten years ahead of the curve.

When Arnold was elected, it was the culmination of a dream he had since his childhood; to go to America and make his name. After conquering the bodybuilding scene, he went on to movies and became the biggest movie star in history... not bad for someone who was told his accent was too strong and that no-one will be able to pronounce his surname.

So far, his run as Governor has been mixed, with various successes and failures along the way. He was re-elected to office in 2006 and, if he is to be believed, will run for a Senate position in 2010 when his term as Governor comes to an end.

Will we see a President Schwarzenegger? I, for one, wouldn't bet against him.

In other news:

January 24th - The United States Department of Homeland Security begins operations.
January 30th - The U.K. (among other European countries) issue a statement supporting the United States in its stance over Iraq.
February 1st - The space shuttle Columbia disintegrates on re-entry.
February 9th - BBC Three is launched at 7pm.
February 15th - Protests of the Iraq War are held in over 600 cities around the world. In all, over 10million people take a stand against the Allied invasion.
March 18th - The U.K. recognises British Sign Language as an official British language.
March 20th - The Invasion of Iraq begins as American, British, Polish and Australian soldiers land in the country.
April 14th - The Human Genome Project is completed.
May 1st - U.S. President, George W. Bush, declares that the end of the Iraq War under a banner that says "Mission Accomplished". This proves not to be true.
June 26th - The United States Supreme Court decide that sodomy laws are unconstitutional.
July 18th - The body of David Kelly is found in woods near his home. The Hutton Inquiry is set up to investigate the death and the allegations surrounding it.
July 22nd - The two sons of Saddam Hussein, Uday and Qusay, are killed by the U.S. military in Iraq.
August 10th - The highest ever temperature in the UK is recorded; 38.5°C/101.3°F.
September 4th - The Birmingham Bullring shopping centre, the busiest in Europe, is opened for business.
October 24th - Concorde makes its last flight before being retired. Commercial aviation takes a step backwards as supersonic flight is abandoned.
November 24th - Al Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi is sentenced to a minimum of 27yrs by a Glasgow court for his role in the Lockerbie bombing.
December 1st - Driving whilst using a non-hands-free mobile is made illegal in the UK.
December 14th - The U.S. announce that they captured Saddam Hussein in a small underground bunker in Tikrit, a shaggy beard and wild hair hiding his more common appearance.
December 18th - Ian Huntley is convicted of the double-murder of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman. Maxine Carr is found guilty of perverting the course of justice.
December 26th - A massive earthquake hits Iran, killing over 40,000 people in the city of Bam.

Highest Grossing Movie: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King - $1.1Billion
Biggest Selling Album: Get Rich or Die Tryin' - 50 Cent

Planet Earth Bites Back Again

There seems to be a run of disasters happening around Christmas time (Lockerbie, the Iran earthquake and the failed attempt by the Shoe Bomber were all around December 25th) and this was one of the worst on record.

An earthquake measuring 9.3 hit off the coast of Sumatra, generating a monumental series of tsunamis that crash into Thailand, Sri Lanka, the Maldives, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Malaysia and Myanmar. It is considered one of, if not THE, worst natural disaster in human history.

It was the second largest earthquake ever recorded with a seismograph and it also had the longest duration, between 8-10mins. The effects shook the entire planet and triggered 'quakes elsewhere (including Alaska) and wave differences in California, among other places. In total, over 50 countries around the world suffered at the hands of the disaster and, all told, there were (at the last count) 186,983 confirmed deaths, while another 40,000 are still unaccounted for.

In other news:

January 13th - Harold Shipman hangs himself in his cell 4yrs after being found guilty of fifteen murders.
January 28th - The findings of the Hutton Inquiry are published.
February 3rd - The CIA admit there was no threat from WMDs prior to the Iraqi invasion.
February 4th - Facebook is founded.
February 26th - The U.S. lift their travel ban on Libya after 23yrs.
February 29th - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King wins eleven Oscars, equalling the previous best set by Ben Hur and Titanic (although, it has to be said, LotR:RotK is the only movie to win all the Oscars it was nominated for in such quantity).
March 11th - Four bombs go off on four different trains in Madrid, Spain, killing 190 people. The terrorists claim they were inspired by Al-Qaeda, but no affiliated with them.
March 12th - Millions take to the streets in Spanish cities to protest against terrorism.
March 14th - President Putin wins a second term in office.
March 15th - Following the Madrid bombings, Spain withdraws its troops from Iraq.
March 28th - Hurricane Catarina, the first ever South Atlantic hurricane, hits Southern Brazil.
March 29th - The Republic of Ireland ban of smoking in enclosed workplaces (including pubs, hotels, and restaurants) is introduced.
April 17thAbdel Aziz al-Rantissi, the Gaza leader of Hamas, is killed when Israeli helicopters fire missiles at a convoy of vehicles in the Gaza Strip.
May 24th - North Korea bans the use of mobile phones.
June 1st - Satomi Mitarai, a 12r-old Japanese schoolgirl is killed by her fellow pupil, an unidentified 11yr-old girl known only as Girl A, at Okubo Elementary School in Sasebo, Japan, by having her throat and arms slit with a Stanley knife. Girl A killed her victim in an empty classroom before going back to her own classroom, covered in blood. The motive for the killing was that the victim called her murderer, ironically, a "goody-goody".
June 5th - Former President of the United States, Ronald Reagan, dies aged 93. A six-day state begins the next day.
June 16th - The 9/11 Commission publishes its findings.
September 1st - The Beslan hostage crisis, in which Chechen rebels take between 1000-1,500 people, mostly kids, hostage inside School Number One in the town. After a three-day siege, Russian security officers stormed the building using tactics considered questionable, resulting in the deaths of 334 hostages (186 were minors).
September 22nd - The pilot for Lost airs.
October 16th - Manchester United defeat Arsenal at Old Trafford, ending a 49-game unbeaten run.
October 24th - Michael Schumacher wins his 7th Formula One title, becoming the most successful driver in history.
November 2nd - President Bush, like his Russian counterpart, wins a second term in office.
November 12th - Scott Peterson found guilty of the murder of his wife and unborn son.
November 16th - NASA's unmanned Scramjet aircraft reaches a speed of 7,000mph, hitting Mach 9.6 and breaking records in the process.
December 10th - New Zealand introduce a Smoking Ban.

B]Highest Grossing Movie:[/B] Shrek 2 - $920million
Biggest Selling Album: Confessions - Usher

We Were Lucky

On the 6th of July, the UK, for the most part, were celebrating bringing the Olympics back to the country for the first time since 1948 (and, in the process, becoming the first city to hold the games three times since the modern era began).

The following day, with the euphoria still in the air, a group of British Muslims, upset about the war in Iraq, decided to kill and maim their fellow countrymen, their fellow INNOCENT countrymen, their fellow INNOCENT countrymen who may have shared their views about the war in Iraq. Four bombs went off, on three tube trains and one bus, killing 56 and injuring hundreds more.

But that wasn't enough; on July 21st, they tried again, using the same MO (rucksacks filled with an explosive mix of Chapatti flour and hydrogen-peroxide), again on three trains and a bus, but they failed to go off. We, as a nation, got off lightly.

Unfortunately, due to the pressure the police were put under, especially with this being the second such attack in the space of a two weeks, Jean Charles de Menezes wasn't so lucky. Mistaken for a suicide bomber, he was killed by the police (under very questionable circumstances), another innocent victim who's life was wasted.

In other news:

January 4th - Ali Al-Haidri, the Governor of Iraq, is assassinated.
February 10th - Iran reveals that it possesses nuclear weapons to protect itself from the U.S.
February 15th - YouTube is launched.
February 16th - The Kyoto Protocol takes effect.
February 16th - The NHL cancels the 2004-2005 season.
February 23rd - The French pass a law on colonialism, mandating that it must be taught in a positive light in schools.
February 25th - Police in Wichita capture Dennis Radar, the BTK Killer. He committed his first murder in 1974 and taunted cops with letters. His downfall came the same way, when he sent a letter to the police, not realising DNA evidence had moved on in leaps and bounds since the time of his spree (the last killing was in 1991). He pleaded guilty in June 2005 and was given 10 consecutive life sentences on August 18th, 2005. He will be eligible for parole after serving 175yrs in jail.
March 3rd - Steve Fossett makes history by becoming the first person to fly solo and non-stop around the world.
March 3rd - Four Canadian Mounties are shot and killed in Alberta. It's the worst loss for Canadian law enforcement for almost a century.
March 21st - The Red Lake High School Massacre takes place. The shooting in Minnesota leaves ten dead.
March 28th - Less than four months after the Boxing Day disaster in the area, an earthquake measuring 8.6 hits Sumatra, killing at least 1,300. The tremors were felt in Thailand, almost 1,000 miles away.
April 2nd - Pope John Paul II dies, prompting millions of mourners to head to Vatican City.
April 6th - Prince Rainier III of Monaco dies.
April 9th - Charles and Camilla tie the knot.
April 19th - Pope Benedict XVI becomes the 265th person to have that title.
May 5th - The Labour Party win a third term in office at the General Election.
May 16th - George Galloway appears before the U.S. Senate to answer questions over allegations of bribes in the Oil for Food programme.
May 17th - Kuwaiti women are given the right to vote.
May 31st - W. Mark Felt reveals that he was "Deep Throat" during the Watergate scandal.
July 2nd - Live 8 takes place as ten concerts are held at the same time across the planet.
July 6th - London is awarded the 2012 Olympic Games.
July 7th - The London Bombings. Four blasts (three on the tube, one on a bus) kill 56 and injure over 700 people.
July 22nd - Jean Charles de Menezes, is shot and killed by police who think he is a suicide bomber.
July 24th - Lance Armstrong, after overcoming cancer, wins his record-breaking SEVENTH Tour de France in a row before announcing his retirement.
July 28th - The IRA announce an official end to its campaign.
August 29th - Hurricane Katrina strikes the U.S. and wipes out areas from Alabama to Lousiana (as well as taking almost the entire state of Mississippi), killing almost 2,000 people and causing an estimated $89.6BILLION in damage. The city of New Orleans is, for the most part, wiped off the map, the carnage was that bad.
September 30th - A drawing of the prophet Muhammad is published in a Danish newspaper, provoking outrage across the Muslim world.
October 1st - Bombs going off in Bali kill 26 and injure 100.
October 8th - An earthquake in Kashmir slays around 80,000 people.
October 19th - The trial of Saddam Hussein begins.
November 2nd - Microsoft launch the Xbox 360.
November 13th - Eddie Guerrero is found dead in a hotel room. The aftermath results in WWE implementing a Wellness Policy on all of its active in-ring employees, with fines and suspensions for violators.
November 30th - The world's first human face transplant takes place in France.
December 31st - 2005 is announced as being the costliest year in history with regards to damage caused by natural disasters. The total cost was worked out to be almost $200billion, with Hurricane Katrina taking up nearly half of that amount.

Highest Grossing Movie: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - $896million.
Biggest Selling Album: The Emancipation of Mimi - Mariah Carey

Another school shooting

Ever since Columbine, we've been less and less affected by a school shooting in America. Usually the domain of the "I've got no friends" teenager with too much time on their hands, the power to shock has dwindled as we become desensitised to it all. One shooting stands out among all the others, mainly because of where it took place; Lancaster County, Pennsylvania - Amish Country.

On October 2nd, Charles Carl Roberts, a milk-truck driver, drove his pick-up to the front of the school, walked inside, asked them if they had seen something he lost and then exited the one-room school. When he returned, he was brandishing a handgun and ordered the male kids to help him unload the rest of his truck into the classroom. They brought in wood, a shotgun, wires, chains, nails, a stun-gun, assorted tools and an unmarked bag.

The teacher, Emma Mae Zook, made a break for it and, with her mother (who was visiting the school) reached a local farmhouse and raised the alarm. While this was going on, Roberts allowed all the male children (as well as a pregnant woman and three mothers with infant kids) to leave, but ordered the females to line up against the blackboard.

Once this was done, he had ten hostages trapped inside the school. He tied them up and threatened to kill them all if the police didn't leave the scene. At 11.07am, that's exactly what he did; firing upon all the hostages before killing himself in one final act of cowardice. Five of the girls dies of their wounds, while the other five spent time in hospital.

The Amish community have never once spoken ill of the man who took their children from them, asking for forgiveness and to think of Roberts' family at this time as, they too, must be suffering. I can tell you, there is no way I could be that strong.

The school was knocked down the following week and the area is now a pasture in the memory of the girls who were killed. The worst part of it all is that no motive was ever uncovered for the murders, as the excuse given by the killer was debunked. Perhaps it's best that we don't know what drove a 32yr-old male to such depths.

In other news:

January 1st - Australia has its warmest day in history as the temperature reaches 45°C/113°F.
January 1st - Russia cuts the gas supply to the Ukraine.
January 7th - Charles Kennedy resigns as leader of the Lib Dems after coming cleam about his alcohol problem.
January 23rd - Stephen Harper becomes Prime Minister of Canada.
March 16th - Blu-Ray is released in the U.S.
March 26th - ETA announce a permanent ceasefire.
July 11th - Seven bombs explode on the Suburban Railway in Mumbia over a period of eleven minutes. 209 were killed, with over 700 injured.
August 24th - Pluto has its status as a planet removed.
September 12th - The Pope gives a lecture in Germany, criticising the Islamic faith in the process. Massive protesting ensues.
October 10th - Google purchase YouTube for $1.65billion.
November 5th - Saddam Hussein is found guilty of war crimes and is sentenced to death.
November 17th - Sony launch the Playstation 3.
November 19th - Nintendo launch the Wii.
November 23rd - Alexander Litvinenko dies after being poisoned, alledgedly by his own countrymen.
December 13th - The Chinese River Dolphin becomes extinct.
December 19th - A court in Libya sentence five nurses and one doctor to death for deliberately infecting hundreds of Libyan children with HIV.
December 30th - Saddam Hussein is executed for his crimes.

Highest Grossing Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - $1.07billion.
Biggest Selling Album: High School Musical Soundtrack.

Was This the Blackest Day in Pro-Wrestling History?

On June 24th, Chris Benoit killed himself after having slain his wife and son over the two previous days. To this day, there hasn't been a definitive answer as to why.

The first any of the fans knew something was amiss was at the Vengeance: Night of Champions PPV, where he was due to face CM Punk for the ECW Title. The match was highly anticipated by a lot of people, so when Benoit failed to show up at the arena, citing a family problem, there were a lot of people disappointed, especially when Johnny Nitro (now John Morrison) was chosen to be his replacement.

The next day, the internet was abuzz with word that Chris Benoit was dead (no details were known) and then, later, that Nancy and Daniel were dead too. People thought the worst, that someone must have broken in and killed all three of them.

That night, instead of the scheduled episode of WWE RAW, the show opened with a solemn Vince McMahon in the ring inside an empty arena. Vince was involved in an angle about him dying in a limo explosion (and whether or not he had faked his own death), but with the real-life tragedy obviously meaning a whole lot more, the owner of the company took centre stage, said that his "death" was nothing more than a storyline and that "tonight's broadcast will be a testament to the career of Chris Benoit".

The RAW show then had highlights of Benoit's matches, words from his friends and colleagues and was a solemn, respectful look back on a great wrestler ripped from us too early.

The next day, the truth came out; Chris Benoit had, for whatever reason, killed his wife, his child and then himself. He had placed bibles next to their bodies and had sent his friends unusual text messages that were at odds with "Benoit they knew".

Vince, armed with this new knowledge, appeared before the start of that night's ECW show and told us that the previous nights' RAW was put together before the facts were revealed, that the repeat showing would not air and that after this statement "the name of Mr. Benoit will never be heard on WWE television again".

It must have been so hard for his close friends (especially Rey Mysterio, Chavo Guerrero and Dean Malenko, all of whom had lost another great friend in Eddie Guerrero less than two years previously) to deal with. They must have asked themselves "How could I not have known?" or "If only I did this..." over and over again.

Tests conducted showed that Benoit had significant damage to his brain due to his years of physical abuse inside the wrestling ring, but that cannot be used to excuse what he did. Hundreds of athletes have damage to their brains because of what they did (boxers are a prime example) and none of them killed their families over a period of days in a methodical and calculated manner.

Chris Benoit was considered to be one of the best wrestlers of all time and some people still remember him as such, putting the last few days of his life out of their mind. More power to them, because I can't do that. As much as I respect what he did inside the wrestling ring, his actions over that weekend tarnished everything he ever accomplished.

WrestleMania XX, the end of the show with him and Eddie, two men told that they were too small to headline, were the champions at the close of the biggest wrestling show ever. All of that means nothing now. Chris Benoit was the type of wrestler people loved working with, a future Hall of Fame inductee, with a fantastic career behind him and a litany of title reigns and accomplishments... and all of it was washed away by the stink of his last few days.

WWE have slowly started to creep him back into their products after removing virtually all mention of him from their website (only the title listing still had his name at one point), DVDs, etc. Only time will tell if that will continue to progress to the point his name is mentioned on air once again.

Some will argue that he deserves at least some recognition for what he accomplished over his career, but I am of the opinion that the murder of the two people who should have been able to protect them from harm and his own suicide (an act of cowardice in this case) overshadow every single second of his wrestling life.

In other news:

January 1st - Hong Kong introduces a Smoking Ban.
January 9th - Apple introduce the iPhone to the world.
January 11th - China test a ground-to-air ballistic missile that can take out orbiting satellites. The world is not impressed and criticise the action.
January 17th - Celebrity Big Brother is caught up in a storm as Shilpa Shetty is racially insulted by Jade Goody, Jo O'Meara and Danielle Lloyd.
January 17th - The Doomsday Clock is moved forward from 7mins to 5mins.
January 30th - Windows Vista is launched.
February 3rd - Bird Flu (H5N1) is found in chickens at a Bernard Matthews farm in Suffolk.
February 25th - At the 79th Academy Awards, Martin Scorcese finally wins the Best Director Oscar for The Departed. He is presented with the statuette by George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Francis Ford Coppola. It was his first Oscar for direction, despite being nominated five times in the past for, among others, Raging Bull and Goodfellas.
March 31st - Lights are turned off in Sydney, Australia for one hour as a protest to highlight Global Climate Change.
April 16th - The Virginia Tech Massacre takes place in Blacksburg, Virginia. 32 people are killed (and 23 are injured) by Seung-Hui Cho in two separate shooting incidents (around two hours apart) on the same day. It is the worst shooting by a single gunman in U.S. history.
May 7th - The Chinese Slave Scandal is reported to the world. Thousands of Chinese people (adults and kids) are forced to work in brick-yards were they are also beaten and tortured by the owners.
May 21st - The Cutty Sark is badly damaged as fire rips through it.
May 26th - Russia regains its status as a superpower.
June 5th - After being discovered accidentally in Ukraine, a mass grave is revealed to be the last resting place of Holocaust victims.
June 24th - The Millennium Dome opens its doors once again, this time as the O2
June 24th - Gordon Brown succeeds Tony Blair as leader of the Labour Party, thus becoming the Prime Minister.
June 30th - Terrorists try to drive a Jeep into the main terminal at Glasgow Airport (one day after a foiled attempt in London), only to be thwarted by the police and civilians who were nearby. John Smeaton becomes a worldwide hero, with people all over the globe looking up to him and being honoured by both the Queen (with a QGM) and Michael Bloomberg, the mayor of New York.
July 9th - The Live Earth concerts take place.
July 21st - The final Harry Potter book is published.
July 22nd - The UK Floods occur, leaving a lot of the UK underwater, with hundreds of people left without a home and cars abandoned in submerged roads and streets.
August 1st - The Scouts celebrate their 100th year in existence.
August 3rd - Foot & Mouth resurfaces in the UK.
August 15th - An earthquake measuring 8.0 hits Peru, killing over 500 and injuring a further 1,500 people.
September 1st - Finland switches off its analogue TV signals and switches to digital.
October 8th - Marion Jones returns the FIVE gold medals she won at the Sydney Olympics in 2000 after admitted to doping.
October 17th - The UK begins it switch from analogue to digital television.
October 20th - Wildfires rip through California and run rampant for twenty days. A state of emergency is declared and 500,000 acres of land is torched. A million are evacuated and around 1,500 homes were reduced to ash. Fourteen people died and around sixty-five were injured.
November 5th - The Writer's Strike begins (and will last until February 12th, 2008), causing major upheaval to the entertainment industry as movies go unfinished and a score of TV shows are either taken off the air or have their current season come to a hasty end.
December 13th - The Treaty of Lisbon is signed by European leaders.
December 13th - A report is released accusing almost ninety current and retired MLB baseball players of using anabolic steroids.

Highest Grossing Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - $961million.
Biggest Selling Album: High School Musical 2 soundtrack.

"Yes We Can"

On November 4th, 2008, America elected into office something more than a new President. They elected something more than the first black man to run the country. The elected a goodwill factor that had been lacking for the past eight years.

George W. Bush did a lot of good things while he ran the country (the world?), but he will always be known, and held accountable, for the war in Iraq. It's what defines his presidency and will probably continue to define it until the day he dies... and then the history books will define it with the war when the 144th President is elected.

But Barack Obama, and only time will tell if he lives up to the hopes and dreams that the American people have stacked on his shoulders, brought something new. He is a relatively young man (only enforced by the age of his opponent), he's dynamic with a microphone and has, for the most part, said the right things and shook the hands of the right people.

Extending an olive branch to the Muslims of the world was a great strategy. If it's taken, then he becomes known as the President who built a bridge and, if it's not, he becomes known as the President who tried to build a bridge; it's a win-win situation.

Another vital crisis to overcome is the Credit Crunch. Obama's been handed this situation from his predecessor and now it's up to him to fix it. If he manages to steer the ship through this storm, his legacy will be shining for a long, long time to come.

Barack being elected has also riled up the racists across the country, with some of them even saying that because his name sounds like Osama, he must be somehow linked to the mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks. Hey, anything that gets under the skin of those inbred kicks is alright in my book.

Is Barack Obama the saviour the world's been clamouring for? I don't know the answer to that, but I do feel a hell of a lot safer knowing he's in charge of the big red button than I ever did with Bush, Jr. at the helm.

In other news:

January 8th - An attempt to kill the president of the Maldives, Maumoon Abdul Gayoom, is thwarted by a single Boy Scout, takes the knife away from the would-be assassin.
January 21st - The stock markets plunge amid fears a huge recession is coming.
February 4th - The first space centre in Iran is opened, with a rocket being launched into space the same day.
February 19th - Fidel Castro steps down as President of Cuba. This officially takes place five days later, with his brother taking over the position.
February 22nd - Northern Rock collapses.
March 19th - Halfway across the universe, a star explodes, becoming the most distant object ever seen with the naked eye.
March 24th - Bhutan holds a general election for the first time.
April 28th - In India, a world record is set when the country sends ten satellites into space during one launch.
May 3rd - Cyclone Nargis rampages through Burma and Myanmar, killing over 133,000, making it the worst natural disaster since the tsunami that hit in December 2004.
May 7th - Dmitry Medvedev replaces Vladimir Putin as President of Russia.
May 12th - An earthquake measuring 7.9 kills almost 70,000 people in China.
June 12th - Ireland votes to reject the Treaty of Lisbon.
June 27th - Robert Mugabe wins a general election in Zimbabwe with 85.5% of the vote. There are widespread claims of misdeeds from the country's leader, but he takes office regardless.
June 27th - Bill Gates vacates his position as Chairman of Microsoft.
July 15th - World Youth Day in Australia.
August 7th - Russia and Georgia go to war over South Ossetia.
August 8th - The Beijing Olympics begin, heralding one of the greatest medal hauls for Great Britain in history.
August 17th - Michael Phelps wins his record-setting EIGHTH gold medal at the Olympics.
August 20th - An aeroplane skids off the runway in Madrid, killing 154 of the 172 people aboard.
September 10th - A proton beam is sent round the the Large Hadron Collider at CERN for the first time.
October 3rd - The Credit Cruch is now official.
November 11th - The QE2 heads off on her last cruise before becoming a floating hotel.
November 19th - The world's first ever transplant using a tissue-engineered organ takes place in Spain.
December 6th - Riots in Greece as police shoot a 15yr old boy.

Highest Grossing Movie: The Dark Knight - $1billion.
Biggest Selling Album: Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends - Coldplay

Pigs Might Fly

On June 11th of this year, Pig Flu, or H1N1 to give the scientific title, garners the status of a global pandemic, giving the impression that we're all going to die within months.

The truth, however, according to evidence, couldn't be further from the truth. The virus, it has been said, is no more potent that the standard flu virus that kills thousands every year, so why the panic?

Easy, people will believe anything if its reported in an official manner. A great movie quote, where the character is asked why anyone would believe what he is saying, is his response; "Because I have a very big microphone". Itr's that very way of thinking that creates a crisis like this. Sure, the Pig Flu is spreading, but the fatalities aren't anywhere near the numbers the doom-sayers predicted.

Will it mutate into something more deadly? Maybe... but by the same token, there is also a possibility that a meteor will strike me down as I cross the street to go to work, so you do the best you can with what you are dealt with.

To show the ignorance of the masses, a lot of people suddenly refused to eat pork, despite there being absolutely no link between eating a pig and the virus, nor no reports hinting at it either.

All we need is a man with a bigger microphone to tell us we're all going to be OK and we can get on with out lives.

In other news:

January 3rd - Israel invade the Gaza Strip with a ground offensive.
January 7th - Russia shuts off the gas supply to mainland Europe.
January 15th - Captain Chesley Sullenberger becomes an international hero when he successfully ditches US Airways Flight 1549 into the Hudson River, saving the lives of all 150 passengers and 4 other crew members. Afterwards, it's revealed that the manoeuvre he performed is almost impossible to pull off. The ditching is considered the most successful in aviation history.
January 20th - Barack Obama is inaugurated as U.S. President.
January 22nd - President Obama orders the closure of the detention camp in Guantanamo Bay within a period of twelve months.
February 7th - The devastating bushfires that ravaged Australia are started. By the end of the torment, 175 are dead, 500+ are injured and 7,500 are homeless.
March 3rd - Sri Lankan cricketers are ambushed while on a bus in Pakistan. Eight people die in the carnage.
April 5th - North Korea fire a rocket, claiming it's to launch a satellite, although the US and other countries say that the rocket landed in the Pacific Ocean. Claims that it was really an intercontinental ballistic missile. The UN Security Council have an emergency meeting, but nothing is actually done.
May 25th - North Korea announce that they have completed a second successful test of their nuclear capabilities, again drawing the ire of the western world.
June 21st - Greenland moves closer to independence from Denmark by taking control of its own economy, law, policing and resources. The official language is also changed to Greenlandic.

Highest Grossing Film (so far): Angels & Demons - $460million
Biggest Selling Album (so far): New Line on the Horizon - U2

Credits to: Wikipedia, BBC News, Reuters, ITN News and CNN


The TWO Community Newsletter Staff Party

1 - The shortest member of the newsletter staff is easily Nimf. The poor girl is hardly 4ft tall and is forced to be a leaning post to hold up the drunken Fiona.

2 - Speaking of Fiona, here we go. She’s going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning, but its her own fault; she shouldn’t have had that second Babycham. We found her in the disabled toilet wearing a paper hat and singing ‘Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head’. Though she had been sick on the ceiling somehow, so it could have been that dripping.

3 - Our glorious editor DC, indulging in his favourite pastime of arm-wrestling stoned monkeys. Sorry, I mean John Hancock. You may notice two things when looking at DC in full party mode, firstly the ways his eyes light up and become larger than saucers when he sees the pineapple and cheese on sticks (we aren’t allowed to add sausage, they give him really bad wind) and secondly the way he fondles his own leg to give himself special ‘arousal power’ for these contests. Oh, and thirdly, he’s a hideous alien insectoid creature.

4 - John Hancock/stoned monkey, can you tell the difference? One way is to throw a banana in the air, the monkey wont go for it (he’s far too stoned) but J-Rock will scramble like a smackrat being thrown a bag. Really, Hancock left the forum for a while last year, he was in The Priory for fruit addiction. He was stealing his families frozen chips and selling them to Cash Converters so he could afford his next pineapple, or if times were hard, a handful of grapes with pips. It was a sad time for him.

5 - TPIB really needs to put on some weight. You see that gun strapped to his leg? It’s a primary school students stapler! We invited him as his ribs make a fantastic xylophone and he makes an evil moose. Yeah, that wasn’t a typo, he brings in a wild moose and does things that can only be seen if you buy certain specialist Dutch films. After an hour or so they are VERY evil.

6 - Yeah, you think ScottyB looks normal don’t you? Well, you see that drink he’s pouring? Its Pernod. Disgusting freak should be locked up and kept away next year.

7 - Looking down on us with eyes that not only sparkle with hidden wisdom but hypnotise us into doing exactly what he wants is our leader, The Kam. The Kam is of a race of beings that controls the supply of beer to the world (no, not Australians); they are the people with no names! The Kam isn’t a name, it’s a description of his job you see. This Kam took over TWO in 2008 when the previous Kam was promoted to pot washer.

Me? I took the photo.

Happy Birthday!

Member Spotlight

More or less the same, but with different colours. Like Triple H, kinda.


Antihero: I am the one the only, the unforgettable, James T Kirk. No wait, that’s not right, Yeah, Antihero, that’s is. But for the purposes of this interview, you may call me "Bob".

Y2James: Hi, I'm Y2James and I'm not an alcoholic.

Fidel Cashflow: It's the artist formerly known as Spiral Tap aka Count Swagula aka Wave Brady aka Mo F.N. Dollaz aka General Mills The Cereal Assassin aka Posthumous Tupac CD aka US Scene Mod aka Yay Cutler now known as Fidel Cashflow.

The Beltster: The Beltster, Beltmark, Belty or whatever else I've had as a screen name. Chris from Plymouth if that's easier.

Gemsi: I'm Gemsi!


Antihero: Since November 05, can’t believe how quickly it’s gone.

Y2James: It's approaching 5 years now, haven't been around the whole time though.

Fidel Cashflow: Damn. It's deffo been half a decade now.

The Beltster: Ummmm....I cant see the date on my profile as I answer this, but I think since April 2004? Something like that.

Gemsi: Over 5 years now.


Antihero: The format, the layout, the arcade, the spampagne room, all these have change considerably in the relatively short time I’ve been on, some for the better, some not...

Y2James: I think the forum has less humour than when I first started, but that's no major issue. Other than that, I think I have definitely changed as a poster. I used to be one of those spam guys, then I grew up a little, so now I just spam when I'm bored.

Fidel Cashflow: Feels like everything's changed. The first year or so I was around it felt like all the people usually thought of as "top" posters now were all enthused in wrestling and caught up in really incredible debates/scathing arguments every day. Now, these same posters (me included, I guess) post like, the same thing in every thread, just with the names swapped out where need be. It's like everyone has a gimmick now and just mails it in or something.

The Beltster: I haven't been around for a while so possibly alot. Overall things are the same old thing, just different board members.

Gemsi: Erm, not much, there is a different group of people I guess and some of the forum styles have changed, plus there are tighter enforcements of rules (which is a good thing - I kinda like rules).


Antihero: To be honest, of all the sites I’ve been on, there are more 5+ year vets than any other site I’ve been on, and that in itself says a lot, however I wish Sav, and Colin were still around. Most others ARE still here, and dammit, I want em all gone!!!

Y2James: TMJ, Darkstar, DC, Inno and others were all around when I joined, I think Jimmy Redman started out about the same time as me as well. I wish maybe Wyndorf was still around, he was great, but other than that, there isn't anybody I really miss.

Fidel Cashflow: Feels like the same people are around, just less often.

The Beltster: The only people I know were here then are Mitch and Nicole, but there are likely tons more. I don't care who stays or goes, I'll easily annoy them all the same eventually.

Gemsi: Erm, everyone is still here I think - just some people use the site less. I don't pay that much attention, so can't remember who I miss anymore.


Antihero: The religious debate/hysteria of last year was a real eye opener for me, because it changed how I looked at a lot of people. I've always enjoyed the What if? style threads because they bring a touch of whimsy and randomness, and that’s where I thrive.

Y2James: The ones that stand out for me are the ones I started, like the time I tried to get the forum members to do my maths homework by claiming I was doing a 'TWO Maths Challenge'. Evil Gringo, I think, helped me out with that.

Fidel Cashflow: Can't really pick out any specific ones, but there's a handful of threads that took on a life of their own and just evolved into something ridiculous. One awesome one involved a small group of us fantasy booking the most incredible fed of all time. Wish I remembered what it was called. Worth a read.

The Beltster: Man, I don't remember the last thread I posted in let alone memorable threads from years past. Probably something about religion or drugs where were all had an online domestic.

Gemsi: Mainly ones that have turned into arguments... no, sorry, debates. :rolleyes2: Others don't tend to stick in my brain.


Antihero: I plan on getting so drunk, i think its two years previously...remember, these thoughts are not those of TWO management. Stay in school, kids.

Y2James: I'm not big on birthdays.

Fidel Cashflow: Hookers, cigarettes, guns, motorcycles and porn. Wait, no, that was last year. Maybe I'll buy a nice cardigan and read a real page turner near the fireplace?

The Beltster: Probably meal and spend time with my kids and girlfriend. I'm not a kid anymore so I don't really celebrate or care about my birthday, Christmas is where it's at.

Gemsi: No clue, probably a party of some kind, with plenty of alcohol and singstar; same as normal really. As long as my friends and alcohol are there, I don't mind. What? I've come across as a big alcoholic? I'm not really! :p


Antihero: Yeah, to anyone who has been annoyed by some of my antics (particularly during some of my episodes) I apologise, and I fully intend to be a more active and valuable poster once again. Viva TWO!

Y2James: I want to let everyone know that it's been a great place to be and grow (as a member) over the past 5 years and it's been a pleasure to be a member of this online family.

Fidel Cashflow: Quite honestly, I'm the greatest poster in the history of this forum. Do you see my tricycle? Do you see my entire ensemble? I'm clearly a better person than all of you, and it's high time these facts were acknowledged.

The Beltster: Not particularly :lol:

Gemsi: Erm, hello everyone. Yeah, I'm boring, lol!

(John Hancock)

A little change this Newsletter for TWO's most controversial column (okay, I only got one complaint, but, whatever, that's more than anyone else got), we're going to showcase two bands who hit it big in 2000 and seeing which members are on top now. One from America, one from Britain.



N*Sync were at their absolute peak, having just released "Bye Bye Bye", their, if not humanity's, greatest song of all time... ever. By the end of the year, their album, No String Attached had sold 10 million albums. TEN. MILLION. Wait... then they released "It's Gonna Be Me', now THAT is humanity's greatest song of all time ever. Considering that this album was, evidently, F*CKING AWESOME, it's not surprising that it broke all records on Amazon, having the most online sales of any album in history. But apparently, writing the two best songs ever, breaking online sales records and selling TEN MILLION albums in one year wasn't enough. N*Sync filmed a special for HBO, released a behind the scene's DVD, cured cancer, and achieved peace in the Middle East.



Well, we all know what happened to Justin Timberlake don't we? After breaking up with Britney Spears, he went on to pretty much own the Earth. His only "slip" came when Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunctioned during the Superbowl, corrupting the morality of all American children, signaling the end of civilization, and distracting everyone from just how badly American foreign policy was going. Although this pretty much killed Jackson's career stone dead (although, she wasn't the first Jackson to have their career destroyed due to accusation of sexually corrupting children), Timberlake recovered pretty much instantly. He went on to build a respectable, although not Oscar winning, film career, bring sexy back, recreate Madonna (again), become the most pre-ordered artist on iTunes in American history, eradicate AIDS and bring down Communism in China. 10/10

The other guys... not so good. The fat one, Chris Kirkpatrick dedicated his life to reality T.V., appearing on pretty much anything and everything (as long as it's being filmed in widescreen, obviously). Apparently, he's now trying to kick start a career in county music. 5/10

Joey Fatone (the fat one) took part in Dancing With The Stars, America's version of Strictly come dancing. FATone came in a close second, and briefly had a career as a ball room dancer off the back of it, dancing professional on Disney Cruise Line ships in the Mediterranean. As well as testing the weight limits of cruise lines, he's also spent his time popping up in bit parts on pretty much anything, from Hannah Montana, to Robot Chicken. He also had a relatively successful broadway run, appearing in Rent and Little Shop Of Horrors. 7/10

Lance Bass, who you may remember as the fat one, is probably the second most remembered member of the band. Mostly for all the wrong reasons. He's perhaps most famous for his attempt to become a Russian astronaut. Sadly, due to his lack of funds, and abundance of weight, Bass's dreams were shattered. In 2006, Bass came out as being gay, as is the law for at least one member of every boy band. For some reason, he won a Human Rights Campaign Visibility Award, which, from what I can tell, seems to be an award for managing to be both famous and gay at the same time. I guess it beats The Daily Mail's "Keep It To Yourself" award. Contrary to popular belief, Lance Bass isn't actually fat. 8/10

JC Chasez has the worst Wikipedia page ever. That's all I've got say about him really. I know off the top of my head that he's a judge on America's Best Dance Crew. I think the fact that his Wikipedia is so bad is testament to him having done NOTHING since N*Sync... other than gain weight. 0/10

WINNER: Not even close. My boy J.T. takes this one.




In 2000, Steps achieved their second number one single with "Stomp" and released their third album, Buzz, which went on to become double platinum in the U.K. The band also attempted desperately to promote the album around the world, terrifyingly aware that bubble-gum pop's bubble was about to burst.



Claire Richards actually made a career out of being "the fat one". She did some T.V. that was entirely based on her not being the fat one anymore. On the show, she dropped a mind blowing amount of weight, but, due to the stupidly small size of the other members, she was still the fattest one. Lol. 7/10

Faye Tozer did alright actually, simply by vanishing with some sort of dignity. She still pops up in the odd panto, but at least she's avoided embarrassing herself for everyone like most other ex-pop band members. 5/10

Lisa-Scott Lee. She's certainly the most famous, but it's for the right reasons. When you're primetime biography show on the biggest music channel on Earth is based entirely around how sh*t your music career is, it probably isn't going all that well. She recovered somewhat in Dancing on Ice, but, not nearly enough to stop her latest solo album becoming pretty much blackballed, well, everywhere apart from South Africa. Seriously. It only got released in South Africa. 3/10

Lee-Latchford Evans did a lot of T.V. that no one watched. Well, apart from one thing, "Totally Boyband", a (failed) attempt to make some sort of ex-boy band super-group. The results weren't spectacular, not that Evans would know, because he wasn't there after he was kicked off of the show by his very own band mates. By the way, this show wasn't a "vote someone off every week" sort of show. He was just seriously SO bad that the other guys just ordered him to leave. Evans will also be remembered for making borderline racist comments about immigrants. Damn immigrants, coming over here, stealing the jobs we don't have, and taking the women we can't sleep with anymore now we aren't famous. 1/10

Ian Watkins, no, no the Lostprophets guy, is perhaps best known for his appearance on Celebrity Big Brother. In between race wars, Watkins shocked absolutely no one by coming out as gay, proving that there's always one.8/10

WINNER: Ian Watkins. Why? Because I prefer gay people. And what?



Not real news. Retro news! How brilliantly unhelpful.

- Rage Against the Machine bring down the capitalist system by mildly annoying it for just under a day with no real effect on anything other than people poor enough to be dramatically effected by one day's bad trading by playing a gig on the steps of the American stock exchange. Michael Moore is also there, but only because he thought that a "stock exchange" would involve some sort of stew.

- Mick Jagger proved his street/urban roots by visiting the boys-only grammar school he went to. "That's not news!". Well, I was there, so yes, yes it is.

- A lawsuit between Metallica and Napstar resulted in Metallica being court-ordered to relinquish all credibility and fans under the age of 30 at once.

- Enimem releases the biggest selling rap album of all time, The Marshall Mathers LP, resulting in about 20% of the world's black rappers just giving up and about 20% of the world's white rappers getting record contracts for absolutely no reason.

- Limp Bizkit are remotely bearable. If that's not news, I don't know what is.

- The Smashing Pumpkins split up (more on this later).


That's the cleverest pun I've ever thought up right there. As I mentioned, 2000 saw the Smashing Pumpkins break up, as well as others. Let's see who else broke up, only to reform. Because being witty is hard, I'm going to do it in cut out and keep Top Trump form.

Smashing Pumpkins

Original Members in Reunion - 20%
Albums Released Since Reformation - 1
Length of Reformation - 3 years (I count Jimmy leaving as another break up by the way)
Highest Chart Position Since Reformation - 4th

All Saints

Original Members In Reunion - 100%
Albums Released Since Reformation - 1
Length of Reformation - 6+ years
Highest Chart Position Since Reformation - 40

Rage Against The Machine

Original Members In Reunion - 100%
Albums Released Since Reformation - 0
Length of Reformation - 3+ years
Highest Chart Position Since Reformation - N/A


Original Members In Reunion - 75%
Albums Released Since Reformation - 1
Length of Reformation - 1+ years
Highest Chart Position Since Reformation - As yet, unreleased in the U.K.

The Posies

Original Members In Reunion - 50%
Albums Released Since Reformation - 0
Length of Reformation - 8+ years
Highest Chart Position Since Reformation - N/A


Original Members In Reunion - 75%
Albums Released Since Reformation - 0
Length of Reformation - 6+ years
Highest Chart Position Since Reformation - N/A

Quote, Unquote

Okay folks, it's that time of the year, Talk Wrestling Online's birthday! So the subject for this week is, you guessed it "Birthdays". So in keeping with the theme, I went back and looked at how some of our members have paid homage to other members on their big day. Enjoy.

2/10. :lol:

Happy birthday! Have a great day! :thumbup2:
Reno gives Shaolinhandlock his usual rating, I'll give him a 4/10.
Happy birthday guys!!!

Oh and a special happy birthday to Twiggie, you sexy dreadlocked beast you. If you ever come to Wales, I shall give you a gift... Oh yeah... :p
Ooooh, Nimf and Twig sitting in a tree...
Oh yeah, and welcome to team 34! w00t :lol:
Quick, Inno, ask to be traded to a younger team. Who wants to hang around with these old geezers?
Happy Birthday/CENTER]:drink::drink::drink::drink::drink::drink::sick: :banana::banana::banana::celebrate2::celebrate2::celebrate2::beer2::beer2: :beer2::beer::beer::beer::balloons:bday :present:biggringi:happybirthday::party::bw:partysign: :partysign::explode:
In wishing Taki a happy birthday, TGO becomes enamoured with the smilies.
Technically it's Tuesday, which means Happy Birthday Shane O Mac
Note to Y2James, never mention age and hill in the same sentence when discussing a woman's birthday.
Maxxibon you mentally hillarious son of a gun you, happy birthday!

Have a great day. And some cake! :cake:
Zero bakes a cake for Maxx on his birthday, but where is ours?
Happy Birthday big man. No I'm not flashing me boobs and I've baked cakes but got no way of getting them to ya.
Is Taki talking about getting her boobs or the cakes to Maxx
Happy Birthday, blue eyes. And please, no lapdance this time. *shudders and takes cold shower to remove memory*
What goes on at DC's birthday parties? Antihero gives us a hint.
Have a good'un Effers!

Make sure you have a birthday Bud on ol' Boyo, but you'll have to pay for it yourself.

Boyo, you cheapskate. I'll buy Fletch a beer then.
Happy bithday, oh goldshirt-wearing one.
Laffy wishes G2G and his shirt a happy birthday.
Happy birthday to my fellow Bruce Campbell fan! Hope you have a "groovy" day. :lol:
Bruce has a message for you Reno...

Aww that's cute, the two members of the Bruce Campbell fan club wish each other a Happy Birthday.
¡Feliz cumpleaños a tí!
¡Feliz cumpleaños a tí!
¡Feliz cumpleaños a Drake!
¡Feliz cumpleaños a tí!

All Drake asks for his Birthday is for The Miz and Morrison to go over DX clean :p
I think Drake is hoping for more than that. I'm sure he wants something like this. *Replace dolphin with cute chick*
Thank you me cutters. God bless, God bless.

Hippo Bathday! Ha! That joke never gets old...
Killing two birds with one stone, Inno reminds Laffy to have a happy birthday and to wash her hippo at the same time.
Happy birthday bud, drink the town dry you old *******!!
Remember to get very pissed :eyebrows:
I see a theme developing here. I'm sure Cheers took their advice.
Happy birthday mom.

You are now officially older than dirt. :lol:
Yes, my lovely son. He's still grounded by the way.
Happy Birthday to the owner of this fine website, Kam, who is 50.

Kidding, kidding, hes 24.

Anyways happy birthday :thumbup2:
Don't let Rebekah upset you Kam. Just start going backwards, Nimf and I are.

Those were just some of the gems I managed to find. Till the next edition, have fun and Happy Birthday, TWO.

TWO Questions

1) What has been your favourite wrestling moment from the past 9 years?
2) What has been your favourite feud from the past 9 years?

Wrestling Moment - Hmm. It all seems to meld into one. Just for sheer "Holy Sh*t" factor, I'd say it's Orton punting Vince. I marked out hard for that and just felt that the whole thing was beautifully orchestrated. Plus it "made" Orton. Sure, he was great before, but that moment sent him into the stratosphere as far as I'm concerned.

Randy Orton Punts Vince McMahon

Favourite Feud - Geez, another tough question. Probably the whole AJ/Joe/Daniels X-Division feud. Damn it, TNA used to be soooo brilliant. The whole image of Joe wearing a towel covered in his opponent's blood... and then THAT match at Unbreakable. It got me hooked into TNA in a big way, it's just unfortunate that it started to go downhill from there.

All parts follow on from each other

The B-Man
Wrestling Moment - Favourite moment is a tough one cause there has been a lot, but I guess Benoit winning the world title in the Triple Threat match. Mainly because he had been screwed out of it a couple of times already.

Part One

Favourite Feud - Favourite fued was Jericho and Benoit from, I think, 2003. That or Joe v Angle. The reason I've selected these is not only were the matches great, but all storylines around them where great too.

HBK throwing himself in to the match, Benoit getting smashed with the chair in the ladder match with Jericho and Angle headbutting Samoa Joe, all top notch stuff.

Jericho vs Benoit Ladder Match

Wrestling Moment - Moment? Crikey! That's a hard one for two reasons. Firstly, there are quite a few moments which I've really enjoyed, secondly, if I pick one, then I'm sure I'm forgetting something even better!

I think I'm going to go for the whole Ric Flair retirement angle. Yeah, it started off a little bit naff and very contrived, what with the "when someone defeats me, then I'll retire" schtick because everyone knew that his final match would be at 'Mania. However, the exact moment when Michaels apologised before spaffing the wretched ol' fart in the face was sublime and unforgettable.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Favourite Feud - Again, tricky, but the feud that sticks out the most just for sheer entertainment really is JBL vs Eddy Guerrero. JBL is, and was, a fabulous talker... and was/is a mean, bullying, coward. When he debuted with the JBL gimmick after ditching Farooq and targeted Mexican Guerrero, it made for some quite compulsive viewing. Yeah, it was as schlocky as hell, but it was really entertaining stuff. They had some decent matches and JBL defeating Eddy was genuinely shocking.

Eddie Guerrero v JBL

Jimmy Redman
Wrestling Moment - Mickie kisses Trish. That sounds so... seedy, I know, but its not only because of hot chicks kissing. It was by far the biggest highlight of the greatest angle I've ever seen and I honestly have never, ever been more excited or 'marked out' more for anything else to do with wrestling before or since. I just watched it again now that I've mentioned it and I still got excited. Just easily my favourite moment in the history of wrestling, which is what the question is, so, yeah.

Mickie & Trish

Favourite Feud - Trish Stratus and Mickie James. Shocking, I know. I wish I wasn’t so predictable with this, but this is honestly the easiest question you could possibly ask me. I have written God knows how many words on the subject, I honestly don’t know what else I can say about it anymore. It was just awesome in all ways; a long, drawn out storyline that was given months to develop properly, with an absolutely perfect character in Mickie James, with so many highlights along the way and with two fantastic matches. It just encapsulated everything that is great about pro wrestling. And again, I've never been so excited for an angle before or since.

Mickie vs Trish Backlash '06

Wrestling Moment - For me it is the hug; Benoit winning the title, showing his elation at finally winning the big one, lifting the title in the air on the turnbuckle, jumping down and turning round to see his best mate Eddie standing there, title on his shoulder, smiling and clapping, happy his friend had won. Walking towards each other and then hugging while the confetti showered down around them. It was magical.

Favourite Feud - There are two that stand out both contain HHH. The first one is Shawn and HHH. Shawn making his comeback against a devious Triple H, winning the match and then being beaten down by a sledgehammer; it was the first time in wrestling I wanted to reach through my TV and hurt someone.

The second is my idol Ric Flair and HHH. I could not believe it when HHH beat Ric up, telling the world he had taken the horse round back and shot him. The cage match is possibly my favourite match ever. Triple H getting the upper hand, Ric coming back and being the old Ric, being the man and standing up to the upstart who wanted to take his mantle, saying not yet bud!!!

All parts follow on from each other

My First Year At Talk Wrestling Online


Well, I’ve been a fan of wrestling since I first saw WCW on Channel 5 on Friday nights. I was hooked since then and always got told by members of my family that it was a 'phase' and 'you’ll grow out of it'. Well, I’m 21 soon and still love everything about wrestling!

I actually stumbled across this site via Facebook! Oddly, I sometimes have a look at those crappy adverts they have on the side and saw that this year’s fantasy league was about to start! I’ve always wanted to join one so I thought why not sign up to this forum.

I don’t know anyone else apart from my boyfriend that is a fan of wrestling, so finding a place with so many fans to interact with and see their opinions was great for me. Everyone was very welcoming when I first became a member, I felt very at home to finally find somewhere I can talk about wrestling and not get funny looks!

There is definitely a feeling of a family here, one that I don’t feel quite part of, but being quite new, I’m sure that will start to fade as I get to know others better and vice versa. Everyone has different views and opinions here so it’s always a great read, even if I sometimes just read and never make a reply. I’ve always been a bit nosey, but I make sure I log on here every day!

The Mod Team & Kam do such a fab job! I’m sure I’ll be here to celebrate next year’s birthday.


How did I get here? To quote Twig from last years edition of The Round Table: 'I believe my search was something along the lines of 'talk' 'wrestling' 'online' :)'

I've been an avid wrestling fan since the late '90's. Considering I was only born in 1992, I've been a fan for 10 years now. After finding that the only other few wrestling forum's I'd joined were all badly run or full of "in house jokes", I looked for a new one which could feature all of the actual wrestling chat, gossip and internet laughs I could want. And here id where I found it. Sadly, it took longer than I previously guessed, as I was stuck on the main page (non-forum main page, that is) and for some reason, couldn't find the "Forum" link. Think I spent about 20 minutes on just that screen :)

I've enjoyed the conversation about the our "moments" as wrestling fans, such as talking about the moments we realised wrestling wasn't all it seemed, Insignificant wrestling moments we love and unusual things pro-wrestling has taught us. The non-wrestling talk was just as fun, like talking about our first ever girlfriend/boyfriends.

I started off quite shy (which is reflective of how I am round new people anyway), mostly 'cause I didn't want to seem nerdish with my thoughts. But once I realised that the forum was relatively open for thoughts and opinions, I've posted more and more. I'm on here most days (even if it's for the least part of five minutes) and I must say it's got a good "ambience" (Can I use that about a website?) about the place.

I would like to thank Kam for providing an environment which allows for people from all over the place to come online and discuss our thoughts and not get shot down for it. Maybe we will see that face of yours one day...


It's really been a year since I joined TWO? It sure passed very quickly. Truth be told, I actually lurked on the forums for about 6 months before I decided to join. And it wasn't an easy decision either but I'm glad that I did join as these forums are pretty darn good. My main problem when I decided to join was to decide what username I was going to use. After about an hour (!) of thinking I got bored and decided to look through my DVD collection. As I was looking through my collection for some reason unexplained the DVD of the film Shaolin Hand Lock made me decide to use the username of ShaolinHandLock. Which is actually a little weird, when I think back to it.

The fact that I've seemingly been able to easily settle in to the forums was very good as my main worry about joining such forums is whether or not I'll settle in. Another thing that attracted me to these forums over the countless others around is the way they are set out and the people using them. I had seen many forums which were so informal that everyone was in constant flame wars and I'd seen many forums that were seemingly dead. Seeing nothing of the sort on TWO (apart from the occasional argument) I decided that TWO would be the forum I chose to talk about wrestling.

One thing I noticed about the forums was the fact that occasional arguments happen. When this does happen, I usually decide to view the argument as an observer. This way, I don't have to get involved and I can enjoy reading the argument. Although, I do get sick of all the "WWE vs TNA" arguments!

The level of discussion on these forums is another thing I was impressed with when comparing it to other forums. I've seen other forums discussions turn into juvenile personal attacks and on TWO I saw none of it. Enough about the reasons I joined though, onto the wrestling! You see with TWO I can easily keep up with the most current wrestling news, what's happening in WWE, TNA etc. And it's not just the wrestling either as the General Chat & Entertainment Forums keep me entertained too.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that TWO is a place where the forum users are nice and it’s easy to talk about things here. I may have had a temporary weirdness of wanting to leave the forum at one stage, but when it comes down to it TWO is my favourite forum and I hope to be here for years to come.

Threads, Topics and Tantrums - Oh My!

Picture the scene - it’s dark, lightning is crashing, thunder is rolling and the wind is howling. One man stands out in the middle of it, wearing just a pair of trousers. He holds his arms out and screams at nature, daring her to do her worst. That, my friends, is how TWO came into my life.

Actually, it’s not, but it’s a damn site more exciting than how yours truly came to be a member of this little community. The truth is - I don’t actually remember. I was camped over at for the most part, I avoided chat rooms and the like… one day, Groovico (for he was Smash’s version of Kam - that’s right, a dictator) told me to check out the chat room and the site attached to it.

Smash’s forums were and possibly still are a den of iniquity - a dark, freakish, horrible place to exist. Granted, I liked it, it felt kinda homely - but TWO’s forums and chat room? Man, they were FRIENDLY! They made people welcome - they actually listened to people and debated rather than just made “your momma” jokes at you. OK, that happens, but hey, it’s the internet…

I stuck in and around TWO. I befriended tons of people. Kam, for whatever reason, seemed to trust me. I think I’ve held just about every position there is to hold on TWO over the years. Despite having also left every position, and taken sabbaticals ranging from days to months… yet I still keep coming back.

Why? Well, gentle readers… I’ll tell you. Because this site, for better or worse, gets into your psyche. It invites itself into your skull, wanders round, rearranges the cushions and then decides to paint the walls jet black… and then you find yourself being comfortable with it.

Y’see, in all of the internet, there’s sites for everything, places where peeps go and do whatever they do. TWO is just one corner. But that one corner has so many different facets to it. There’s peeps on here from all walks of life, that have nothing in common. Not one single thing, bar a love for, as the trolls put it ‘muscle heads in underwear dancing around in a fake fight’ and all that goes with it.

Yet through that, and this is just my personal experience, peeps come together here. I’ve made some incredible friendships, online and in real life. I owe my life literally to some of those friendships. I also owe some of the worst hangovers of my life to those friendships… but that’s the point. When things in my “real life” go pear shaped, I tend to head on over here and tell everyone about it. Why? Lord knows. But it just feels right.

This site was, is and probably always will be more than just a collection of random posts about wrestling and more than page after page discussing arm bars and head locks. It’s a community. A strange little gated community at times, and one that has the odd floundering moment - older posters will remember The Gang, Rob McKay and more - but it remains to this day a shining light in the darkness of the interwebs for me.

Now, who wants to loan me an umbrella, it looks like it’s gonna rain out there.

Member Spotlight

Big, bold and in your face. Like Triple H... ah you get the joke by now.


Popsi: My name is Popsi...

Chris2K: I'm Chris2K, I'm a TWO Hall of Famer and have pretty much held every single position on the site at some point.

TMJ: I'm TMJ, formerly and probably better known as DraVen on here, but my real name is Mitchell. I've been a forum leader, senior moderator, chatroom moderator, Hall of Fame inductee (don't ask) and eventually an administrator who did such a good job that Kam hasn't trusted anyone to become one since. I used to have the respect of the posters for being an intelligent and thought-provoking poster, but nowadays my posts tend to revolve around sarcasm, calling people racist, and unnecessary hyperbole. I save my real energies for elsewhere.

Nicole: Hey, I'm Nicole and I don't even watch wrestling anymore :)


Popsi Erm about 7 years now. Eep, that's a bit scary. Gosh so much has changed in 7 years. I've gone from being in school doing my AS-levels, through uni and now in a full time job for the past 3 1/2 years!

Chris2K: Since June 2002, so this is my 7th anniversary.

TMJ: Since January 2002 which would make it... seven years and six months. Come January 2010, I'll have been here for eight years. Christ on a bike riding a stick! To think of how I could have spent those years. Actually, I vividly remember the only time in that period where I took an extended break. Probably better off staying here after all, to be honest.

Nicole: Chatroom regular since I was 12, member of forums since I was 13 so 8 years? That sounds so long when you actually see it written down.


Popsi: Actually for the first time really I've taken a massive step away from TWO. I've not posted on the boards in months, though I occasionally stop by to have a look at what's occurring.

Chris2K: Kam has secrets on me that nobody can find out. Nobody.

TMJ: Habit, familiarity, habit, my inability to not type the URL into my browser when I'm bored, and mostly habit. I also like reading TWO's silly and vaguely racist political views over and over again until I feel the urge to smash my head into a brick wall.

Nicole: Habit? I suppose it’s a bit of a guilty pleasure, coming onto a wrestling site even though I don't watch it anymore and chatting.


Popsi: Beltmark - We went from being at loggerheads to having a much better understanding of each other. Pabster - I still chat to Pabster on another forum and he's just such a sweetheart! Spiritchaser - From the time he joined I couldn't bear his posts! Judging from the thread he posted the other day not much has changed!!

Chris2K: Good would be Russ and Inno, Russ was always a great laugh and Inno has done so much unheralded work to keep people happy. Bad - RX. I don't need to say any more.

TMJ: Depends on what context. If we consider it on a contribution-to-the-site level, then Jayden, Russ and Naitch are the best posters that TWO ever had and I didn't even have to think for longer than a second to conjure that list. All three were special in that they were smart, engaging in their writing and had a style to their posts that made them recognisable without even having to see their usernames first. Their contributions are sorely missed as far as I'm concerned. Yes, even Naitch's. And he still posts. But there's also the personal level of the site as well. I've been lucky to meet Jayden, Colin and Ray in person and consider them to be real, tangible and fairly close friends. And I've developed somewhat of a bond with others like Taki (no matter how much she tries to publicly deny it, she thinks I'm cool). So in that respect, it's harder to narrow it down to just three. And don't even get me started on the "bad". One word: Goldy. Move on.

Nicole: Mitchell - Just because he's been here a similar time, we're similar ages and we're so different to each other yet so similar in other ways. He's a total Bitchell. Jess O Mac - Mainly because so much drama surrounded her and stuff. Those times were really good for me as a nosey 14 year old, and the lines between the "internet" world and the offline world were really blurred with her. Kam - Mainly because I've been here 8 years, and I only know his last name. We've never even seen a picture!


Popsi: Everything and nothing. People have come and gone, and the same issues seem to flare up every few months. The biggest changes have been things like easing up on the swearing and the massive expansion of the site. Things that haven't changed include people who take everything the wrong way and me still wondering if Kam is a robot or not.

Chris2K: The colour scheme. Plus Nicole's grown up.

TMJ: In terms of what? The site? Everything. Mods come and go regularly, the colour scheme and design of the site makes it look like a cheap UK gimmick forum from 2003, a lot of great posters have left and a lot of bad posters have replaced them (some have promise though - I'm liking the beat of Springsteen's drum, thus far), the newsletter goes through editors like Spinal Tap go through drummers, and Wrestling101 exists where before it didn't.

Nicole: The layout, the people... just everything. Nothing is the same. Well, Inno is still a feature, so I suppose thats it :)


Popsi: Pretty welcome back in the day. I read back my old posts and shudder, but the site was a much much smaller community then and bizarrely it felt that much more welcoming. This place went through a phase of treating new members really really badly, but seems to have moved on from that thankfully.

Chris2K: Difficult to say as I was a chat member before a forum member. I always held the mods in such high esteem, and when I became one I realised they're just normal people.

TMJ: So-so. Some posters like Grapple and Russ were nice to me. Jess O Mac, Amanda V and Nicole were rough with me in the chatroom at first, and Simon and The Alliance Mark were pretty harsh on the forums. TAM eventually left and Simon and I became friendly and often recorded TWO Radio discussions for podcasting with Chris2k, Colin, Telf, Russ and others. In all fairness, I was completely new to the internet and quite young at the time, so I probably deserved some of the initial stick. But I kept with it and managed to become someone important to the site that gave me a lot of cool things in return. So that made it worth it, really.

Nicole: Ha. Not very. Everybody hated me :D


Popsi: Gosh so many have made me frustrated at people's attitudes and then frustrated at myself that I was bothered by them! None have made me cry because I've not invested that much of myself in this place, but plenty have made me laugh. Particularly stuff from Russ back in the day, he was funny mind!

Chris2K: The whole RX thing, or any thread where people are proposing some kind of "revolution" to make TWO a better place. It's not a communist country.

TMJ: I completely refuse to read the Grapple Grove, "Proposal", DraVen vs. Goldy/Kessler/Pabster/Every dumbsh*t who came out of the woodwork to try and make my already-decently-sized hole of naivety and phone sex gone wrong bigger than it already was, and stepping down as admin/leaving the forum forever (a week) threads that all involved me in some way. As a general rule, I try not to re-read any of my old threads prior to becoming a senior moderator, because then I know I'll feel like Jayfunk when he reads his threads back in about five years time.

Nicole: Any one where some liberal do-gooder who has no real life experience pipes up with some ridiculous comment :)


Popsi: Everything has changed in my personal life. Like I said earlier, I've finished school, been through uni and now and supposedly a respectable manager in the prison service! I couldn't be more different as a person since I first joined TWO. Thankfully I've grown out of the depressive teenage slump I was in and hopefully grown up. I've gained a lot of brilliant friends, and that includes people from TWO!

Chris2K: Very little. Probably why I'm still here.

TMJ: Well, I discovered sex, drugs, alcohol, rock and roll, politics, a passion for radio, a talent for writing, an outlet for Photoshop designing, and I passed my A-levels and impressed my then-future-now-present lecturer with my portfolio of media-related work mostly consisting of everything I'd ever done for TWO at that point; a portfolio that helped me obtain a place at University. I've felt unbelievable joy, unbearable betrayal, and chopped away at the thin line between the two. I moved house, I got jobs, I mowed the lawn and Nimf sent me cakes. In short: everything. Most importantly, I was 14 when I joined the site and I'm 21 now. I grew from a child into a man. And yet, my penis stayed the same. Typical. Must get it from my Mom.

Nicole: I've gone from being a 13 year old teenager to a 20 year old adult. My love life has been planned out on this site and I'm just a totally different person to the lonely 13 year old who sought solace in a website. I'm much more comfortable in who I am and I don't have to try and make people like me, because I don't carre if you don't :)


Popsi: Well I just had my 25th birthday in May, so no plans as yet for my 26th! As for my 25th, I did naff all!

Chris2K: I stopped celebrating birthdays when I was 16. Last year nobody even knew it was my birthday.

TMJ: Haven't even thought that far ahead, but it'll probably involve going down the local student bar the day after. I have some making up to do from last year.

Nicole: I'll be 21 so I'll be mashed :beer2:


Popsi: Be yourself, and don't take things too personally.

Chris2K: As the Eagles once said, "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave". Think about that..

TMJ: Leave now. It's all downhill from here.

Nicole: To be fair, new members get it easier here than they did years ago :)

Final Thoughts

And lo, we come to the end of another monster edition of the TWO Newsletter. I hope you enjoyed the content provided by the esteemed staff, that you smiled at the memories, laughed at the jokes, nodded sagely at the serious bits and feel good about being a member of the greatest internet forum/online community in existence.

Things will be back to normal, whatever that is, for the next edition, so the TWOStars round-up and Movie Mayhem will be making their grand reappearance. The Probe also returns as Saz takes over the reigns from our old friend Mitch, so that should be an interesting read and the void left from the departing Photoshop League will stand out like a boarded-up local shop that couldn't compete with the Mega-Ultra-Super-Hyper-Market that opened up just down the road.

See you then.
Newsletter Editor: DC

Talk Wrestling Online Timeline

Once again, with the birthday celebrations comes that inevitable feeling... an impending moment where you realise that all may not be well within the world. In TWO terms, that means it's time for... THE TIMELINE!!!

See who did what! To who! And how often! And where! Or maybe it's just a rough look at the many happenings in the land of TWO. You decide...

TWO Timeline


Thanks to everybody who contributed to this issue of the TWO Newsletter:

NEXT EDITION: Sunday 12th July 2009

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John Hancock

Well-Known Member
Senior Moderator
Chris2K's Eagles quote is the cleverest thing ever said about this forum.


New Member
J-Rock... Mike, Trey, Page, and Fishman are the real lineup for Phish. The other two guys were around in the early 80's when they were still a college band figuring out what they were doin. Your percentage is misleading.
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John Hancock

Well-Known Member
Senior Moderator
J-Rock... Mike, Trey, Page, and Fishman are the real lineup for Phish. The other two guys were around in the early 80's when they were still a college band figuring out what they were doin. Your percentage is misleading.
I was going on people who were with them in 2000 compared to people with them when they reunited.

That said though, if there's one topic I'll admit defeat to you about, my man, it's Phish. So, yeah, I may well have got that wrong.

On the subject of those percentages; Smashing Pumpkins. Technically, the reformed Pumpkins had 50% of the members, but, when they reformed, because they added a full time keyboardist, that percentage became 40%, THEN Jimmy left, making it 20%. 20% is the funniest number, so I went with it.


New Member
Really enjoyed the newsletter. Of course it's to be expected with the special editions what with all the varying contributions, but it's always interesting to read up on people reflecting on the history of the forum itself and the community as well as the wrestling and general content.

On a general note (and he has probably been getting it alot), I wanted to give deserved prop's firstly to DC whom has really found his niche with the newsletter gig, and got the right mix of regular good to great content and interesting one off's keeping things as fresh as a daisy. The other prop is the obvious one to Kam himself. Other than the obvious one being the site itself, I just wanted to thank Kam for the opportunities that he has given me over the past few years when I went from a silent party glued to the Smash forum to a more active member seemingly obsessed with the chat room, Arsenal, Video Games and Stevie Richards. I just regret that I never really contributed back to a good enough extent to warrant those chances I was given. But hey, at least it freed you all from my tripes. So basically, thanks Kam. Here's to keeping the forum going for another good while with all those new peep's whom have taken up the mantle, and the strong old guard still propping up proceedings.

Lastly, I didn't get around to replying to Laffy in time in relation to the best moment and best feud, so I just wanted to post what is probably my best moment of recent years in relation to wrestling, right here, damn it.
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I'm the good looking one up there
Awesome awesome newsletter. You realise I've been here as long as my son has been alive? How f**ked up is that???

And no, I still haven't updated my jokes.


Global Modd
awesome newsletter, much enjoyed the member spotlights, perhaps having an old, middle a new one each time would be good? Though I guess you'd go through the older memebers a lot faster.

anyways, great stuff all round, well done all....


Well-Known Member
Hmmmm, I somehow managed to not insult David Platt this issue. Best redress that next time.


New Member
I enjoyed it. The last member spotlight thing kinda scared me, I didn't know it was possible to be on a forum for that long.


Well-Known Member
Hmmmm, I somehow managed to not insult David Platt this issue. Best redress that next time.
Maybe not even mentioning him on the birthday issue is the biggest insult of all.

Thanks for all the kinds words, it is appreciated and makes the work worthwhile.


Well-Known Member
Just to note: JC Chasez had three hits since N'Sync, one with Basement Jaxx and another being the utterly cheesy and awesome "All Day Long I Dream About Sex"
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Wales forever!!!
Loved the newsletter even got my boss interested which is very very scary. Especially when he started quoting Savage and Steamboat. I almost died. Loved the member spotlight, all in all a great newsletter.


New Member
I was going on people who were with them in 2000 compared to people with them when they reunited.

That said though, if there's one topic I'll admit defeat to you about, my man, it's Phish. So, yeah, I may well have got that wrong.

On the subject of those percentages; Smashing Pumpkins. Technically, the reformed Pumpkins had 50% of the members, but, when they reformed, because they added a full time keyboardist, that percentage became 40%, THEN Jimmy left, making it 20%. 20% is the funniest number, so I went with it.
That would be all four of them in both instances, no? Haven't been following the reunion, too expensive to bother with, and everyone at Shakedown (the parking lot/nearest campsite) is bitter as hell towards Trey anyways. Are they all four in the reunion tour?

Nemesis Enforcer

New Member
I actually have one already was all. :lol:
Well I have just found out that with the £10 from this and the money I still have from the last time I won here on TWO I can afford to pre-order a special edition Watchmen DVD from so looks like you are stuck with another TWO t-shirt unless you can get ZERO interested in it :lol:


Well-Known Member
awesome newsletter, much enjoyed the member spotlights, perhaps having an old, middle a new one each time would be good? Though I guess you'd go through the older memebers a lot faster.
The reason I only do one an edition now (other than requests to only do one) is because I was running out of people to ask who actually replied. You'd be surprised ho many spotlights i've sent out that people don't reply to.

Really good enwsletter. Particularly enjoyed John Hancocks bit and Darkstars bit! Even if he's totally wrong on my
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