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Forgive and forget or burn the bridge?

Chuckyy

Member
Messages
75
Points
8
I was having a debate with one of my friends about this. Curious what others think. If someone does you wrong, but the issue is relatively small (for example, they owe you $20 but have been flaky with returning it) do you forgive them or put an end the friendship? How much does it take for you to call it quits?
 

Dust and Rust

Member
Messages
41
Points
8
More than 20 bucks.

For me, it's a lack of respect. That just shows me that someone doesn't take me seriously if they can't respect what I do.
 

didge

Member
Messages
148
Points
18
The basic denominator in any kind of relationship is mutual respect. If you owe me money (irrespective of what amount this is) and cannot return it, how can you be entrusted with bigger things? For me, it takes a while to cut-off anybody. In such a case, I would brush it off but never lend this person any money in future.
 

Meerkat

Member
Messages
170
Points
18
For me, it takes a while to cut-off anybody. In such a case, I would brush it off but never lend this person any money in future.
This is exactly what I was going to say. It happened to me and the sad part is that the borrower was my cousin. I cannot cut our relationship as cousins, but I won't lend him anymore because he broke the trust I have for him. As they say, trust needs to be earned.
 

Ogmore

Member
Messages
150
Points
18
I learned long ago not to loan money to friends and family. If I give out funds I consider it a gift to that person. However, I'm willing to burn bridges when it's needed. I can't escape my family, but the mates I keep are a choice.
 

Chuckyy

Member
Messages
75
Points
8
I hear what you're saying that it's not really the money that would make you cut off the friendship. Personally, I've been burned many times by lending friends money, but I still do it when I'm in the position to do so. Guess I'm just a sucker.
 

Meerkat

Member
Messages
170
Points
18
A chuckyy that has a good heart, that is something new for me. I suppose you are applying the principle of forgetting the money you have lent in order for you not to have a headache about it. Can I borrow money from you? :)
 
Messages
182
Points
18
I will forgive the person, but I will not forget the mistake of that person. I live by the principle of; "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
 

didge

Member
Messages
148
Points
18
You know such instances paint a picture of the situation out here; people are willing to borrow money yet they have a hard time repaying it. I find it hard to keep sending reminders to someone who’s unwilling/unable to repay a debt. The easiest way is normally to just cut-off such a relationship.
 

Kathy525

New Member
Messages
5
Points
3
I think that depends on a lot of things. It's not the same if someone just doesn't want to pay you back and avoids you, or if they actually don't have the money yet so they feel ashamed of it and get ''flaky''. In the first case, that's a reason to quit the person, but in the second, it's more of a communication/closeness problem if they can't tell you openly that they don't have it.
Obviously this can be applied to various situations, not just owed money.
 
Messages
182
Points
18
Good point Kathy. Still, my trust will be broken if the person who borrowed money did not tell me why he or she failed to pay on time. If I was in that situation of not paying up a borrowed money, then I will try to borrow from another person in order to pay to the first person I borrowed from until I can eventually accumulate the money to pay everything.
 
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